Classically Trained

More!

2010-10-16T11:49:00.001-04:00

I've kept playing with this stuff... I saw Rigoletto at Opera de Montreal recently and it was fantastically entertaining. I get so into that opera.

There's something different in the way I'm directing the sound these days, and Eve says it makes me sound quite nice indeed. I'm keeping a larger space open in the back, letting it resonate there, before it goes forward. I think I get the best results for ease-of-access when I have that back space open, and the best sound when I also get the forward buzz going on. The key is that the back has to be there for the notes to happen BEFORE they come forward.

That all sounds like crazy talk, but it makes sense in my body!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-10-09T11:49:00.002-04:00

I'm STILL still alive!

Am I still singing? Why yes!

Am I still taking lessons? Why no! Why? I'm poor! Hopefully that will soon change.

Things are going great up here in Montreal- I have a new job, a happy wife, and this afternoon I'm off to see Rigoletto at Opera de Montreal. Should be a blast.

The reason I'm posting is because I am doing something different this morning and it's working really well. There's a difference in my support mechanism- that balloon feeling people always talk about. I should do it more so I can remember the sensation, because it's making a big difference in my upper range.

Basically my philosophy of right now is "The voice is an instrument of the human body, and it has to grow organically. Let's take a break and see what that does." I'm focusing more on my work-life as a game designer, and relaxing off of my earlier intensity of vocal study.

However, every so often I'll sing through some stuff or do some exercises to see where my voice is- and the results are interesting. Old problems disappear and new ones crop up, and then they switch so I'm singing the old way without new problems, but with my old ones. Today, for example, I'm much more supported and open.

So while I'm not as active as I used to be, I'm still keeping an eye on things- and when I get more settled, I will likely seek out a reasonably-priced teacher.

Still Alive

2010-08-08T23:26:00.001-04:00

Believe me, I am still alive.

I've moved to Montreal, and my beautiful wife will be joining me shortly! I made the move to continue my employment at my gaming company, and to get out of the States and see a little bit of the world. For my birthday, on July 9, my mom got me tickets to 3 operas at Opera de Montreal! As soon as I choose which three, I hope to go see some excellent shows.

In any case, if you've enjoyed reading here (though I may pick it back up eventually, but there may be some significant break in updates), you may want to find me at my new home on the internet:

Power Dance 2000: The Revenge of Hoss!

Singing Things!

2010-06-03T08:44:00.002-04:00

Last night was a strong choir rehearsal. We looked at music two months out, and then I worked with a trio singing special music in two weeks. They did very well, and I'm certain their offering will be enthusiastically received by the congregation.

After rehearsal I did some singing. Contrary to Tuesday, my voice was really working yesterday. I'd listened enough to an earlier lesson, earlier in the day, to begin trying to address a "clenched" or "tight" sound up above the staff- not an easy task! However, I was able to make a number of attempts that were less clenchy or tight sounding than usual, before choir.

Then after choir I did some singing and found an interesting thing- somehow I managed to get the sensation (okay, this is going to sound dumb) that my breastbone was vibrating, and that's where the "back" resonance was- in my chest- while the "forward" resonance was in my nose. This was actually very relaxed and, I thought, a lot more open than usual!

I just wanted to make note of the sensation. I'll be surprised if I can reproduce it anytime soon, but it's good just to take note and say "here's what happened, and here's what I thought about it."

I do want to start addressing that unnatural tightness up top. On one hand it almost seems like it helps me move through the passage, but on the other hand it seems like it restricts the full sound above the staff. I must be doing some bit of things right, which helps, and some things wrong. So what is it I'm doing right, and how can I keep it, and what am I doing wrong, and how can I lose it? Investigations shall continue.... TONIGHT!

June First

2010-06-01T10:56:00.003-04:00

Today is the first of June- and the first day of my final month of employment at the company I've worked for since graduating, for almost exactly three years.

My thoughts are towards the future- how best to use my time to grow as an artist. I'd really like to broaden my palate of musical flavors- listen to a lot of various styles, genres, and types of music. It seems like the more I listen to, the more I have to draw on for my own performances, which can only help in the long run. I'm hoping to get in on some acting classes through Burning Coal here in Raleigh- I'm comfortable on stage, but I'd love to have some more tools at my disposal for building a more believable character and having that show through me when I work. And, of course, with long stretches of time home alone, I hope to practice like a fiend, daily, for multiple hours. Nothing too strenuous, of course- I don't want to hurt my voice- but sessions of light practicing, listening, looking through repertoire, looking FOR repertoire, and then one or two serious sessions of high stuff, fast stuff- whatever my current challenge is- would probably be a fine idea.

Of course I'd also like to earn as much money as possible through music- I'd rather not leave Eve in the lurch as far as gainful employ is concerned. My church job will continue, and I've felt good about the lessons I've given so far- so I'll probably be looking to increase my own private studio. I am also talking to another studio in the area about working for them, but we'll just leave comment on that for after decisions are officially made. I've had some offers for freelance conducting help, which I must seriously investigate, and some parties interested in conducting lessons! All in all, I hope to be able to put together enough income to at least cover all of my personal expenses- with any leftovers going to joint expenses, and further leftovers going into savings as much as possible. I'd love to add more performance experience to my resume, especially of the paying variety- but I'm confident that will start showing up more as I improve the quality of what I have to offer through intense dedicated focus.

And, in the midst of it all, I've seriously got to start finding and polishing some repertoire. If I want to be able to present myself as a strong option to Young Artist Programs this fall/winter, then I'll need some impressive sounds to call on. Lately, "Una furtiva lagrima" has been working very well for me- it'd be a treat to have it polished up nicely to show off. "Lonely House" has also started coming together well- but the challenge is no longer hitting all the notes, but making them sound like a delight to the ears.

It would be fun to record some more videos and put them up online- I may have to see if I can't do some short ones just to record my sound at regular intervals for reference.

Ah well- lots of musings on the future and what my life will look like as a significantly more freelance musician. It's going to be very exciting and probably more than a little bit scary and stressful!

Thursday Update Time!

2010-05-20T16:45:00.004-04:00

It's been another week, which means it's time for another update lest we all get too bored!

The weeks both fly and crawl when you're working a full time job and in steady rehearsals for an impending show.

"Esther" has consistently improved the more we've worked on it, and the more elements we've added! I know you've probably all seen me talking it up on facebook already, but it is certainly worth your time- and at $16, it's a cheaper 90 minutes of entertainment than many! The music really is very lovely, and everyone involved has been working very hard on it.

I practiced for a good 25 minutes last night (50, when you account for the fact that I listen back to all my practicing)- lots of good stuff on there, but it almost seems that now that I've hit my breakthroughs, my brain is even more adept at picking out the areas where I'm doing things wrong. Maybe I'm close enough to "good" now that my brain has an easier time of saying "NO, NOT LIKE THAT!" Who knows. I definitely need to focus on opening up more, and relaxing more. I've been trying to feel an outwards expansion in my breathing apparatus while singing, which is interesting and new- I'm sure it will only pay dividends, but it will take some time until it's natural enough to do so.

Lots of practicing lately has involved running through three different octaves, all on the same pitches:

* First, an octave where I try to "open" everything as I go up. Elongate, heighten, deepen, stretch the back of my throat so I get the most space and relaxation as I ascend.

* Second, an octave where I try to "focus" everything as I go up. More nasal, more forward, more of the "mute" feeling I've talked about earlier.

* Third, an octave where I try to combine the nasal/forward feeling of the second octave with the open/round/back feeling of the first octave.

Interestingly enough, all three of them come out sounding completely different, and feeling completely different internally! I'm not certain at this point which is right! Logic sort of dictates that I want a forward "ping" sound along with a back "resonant" sound, but the third octave doesn't necessarily sound better than the first!

I also notice that there's a point at which the "forward" or "focused" octave becomes held and tight, while still remaining somewhat flexible. It's like I've taken a step forward in correcting my tension, but I still have plenty to go. However, this tension is COMPLETELY absent in the "open/back" octave- I'll have to go for that feeling more while singing the "forward" one.

It's an interesting place to be in, psychologically, to have the pitches, but not the high quality of voice you want. It's always been somewhat the other way around for me- my voice has been described as beautiful, but I've never had the pitches I wanted. Now I have the pitches I want, and I just have to beautify them! I have a feeling it will be another long and hard journey, but it's definitely one I'm dedicated to making.

Esther's been a blast, and I've met a ton of great people doing it, and I've gotten some great advice on singing and a career- but I'll be thrilled when I have the time again to really seriously practice every single day.

Busyness!

2010-05-13T13:23:00.002-04:00

So I've been psychotically busy lately. My current employer, Funcom, launched their first expansion, "Rise of the Godslayer," for their MMO "Age of Conan"- which, of course, resulted in a ton of overtime for us lowly underlings. I can't complain too much- after all, it's always nice to make a little extra.

Of course, at the same time, "Esther- A Musical" has headed into its final push for rehearsal! Next week is Tech Week, and we've been rehearsing Thursday and Friday evenings, and all day on Saturdays. The show's really starting to come together- it's definitely semi-staged and semi-concertized, with most of the dialogue severely shortened, but it's starting to look pretty smooth. The blocking, the belly-dancers (!), the costumes- and as everyone gets off book and scenes and songs get tighter and tighter, things will only improve! It's also a lot of fun to get to meet all of the new people involved in the show. I'm trying to start being more outgoing and interacting with more people- Monifa wrote a nice post about singers having to "sell" themselves, and learning to be more outgoing and engaging will only help me when that time comes.

All of this as an explanation for where I've been the past week! At the same time, I've been absolutely stunned by my own vocal developments. Things are getting easier, more relaxed, richer, more focused- everything I'd ever hoped, and it's all developing at a lightning pace. Another cast member remarked while we were at lunch about a "pear shaped tone" (not that I had one, mind you- he was just recounting a story and used that term). I thought it was an interesting metaphor for vocal sound- a rich round sound paired with a ringing forward "peak"- like a pear. He also commented that if you're feeling stress or strain while singing, it is that very stress or strain that's wrong about your technique! "After all," said he, "It's just singin'." It's a good lesson, and I may be trying to internalize it a little more seriously these days.

I'm not meaning to brag here- when I feel like doing that, maybe I'll put up some recordings, though not for a while- more, I'd just like to express the excitement I'm feeling along with a heavy dose of bewilderment. After a decade of fighting with my voice, our purposes are finally aligned. It's like I was rolling an incredibly heavy ball up to the top of the hill, and now I'm pushing it DOWN the other side of the hill. The amount of effort I'm contributing hasn't changed, but the effects are vastly different! After such a long period of frustrations, to look at the changes and successes in the last month is to look at something I'd always hoped for but, perhaps in my heart of hearts, feared would never actually happen.

Of course, now I'm looking at all this new stuff going "Well what on earth am I supposed to do with THAT??" I've gotta start tearing through some tenor rep and getting it uber-polished. And task #2 would absolutely be looking for the right Young Artist Programs to apply for. Honestly, at this stage, I'm so uninformed that I don't even know what I should expect a YAP to offer me! Better get crackin'.

It's been a long road

2010-05-06T09:03:00.002-04:00

So just last night I was doing octaves, 1-3-5-1-5-3-1, sliding on an [a] vowel. I repeated this exercise from an Eb up to C4-C5- the tenor "high C," a height previously unimaginable for my voice. The trick is to be mindful of the shifts that need to take place from F#, G, and Ab- from a more open, rounded production to a narrower (dare I say "covered?") production. It's definitely an exercise that I need to repeat daily so that my body figures out just what to do. I should also knock it out in every vowel, to make sure that my body figures out just what to do at every point on the scale for every vowel!

As many of you know, it was decided that I was probably a Tenor in my Junior year of college- nearly 5 years ago now, in 2005. I was 20 years old! From the beginning, it was a challenge. Fs were not the easiest thing in the world, F#s were a gamble, and Gs were nearly unreachable. I had the range of a baritone, with the vocal timbre of a tenor. As I progressed, the higher portions of my voice did become easier, but really only by a half-step or a whole step. The highest note I sang in my college career was an Ab in the Dichterliebe for my senior recital. In Art Song, that's quite reasonable for Tenor repertoire- but in opera, that's just a high baritone.

Ever since I graduated college and decided that music was actually what I wanted to do, I knew that I wanted to do not just any music, but opera specifically. Nothing else fascinates me so much as opera- the music is just fantastic. Oratorio is nice, but it can't compete. Large choral works are fine, but the solos just don't compete. Art song is sometimes lovely, but on the whole I tend to find it bordering on the bizarre. But opera just makes sense- the melodies are beautiful, EVERY song is wonderful when sung correctly, the emotions are intense, and it's all fully staged! But in opera, the question becomes- what room is there for a young man with a tenor timbre and a baritone range? And the answer is "not much, really."

And so I've spent the last few years retooling my voice according to John's principles of placement and space. It's been a long journey, but the rewards have been consistent, and every time I get too frustrated, I meet with another breakthrough.

In January, the breakthrough was a high A. Now, the breakthrough is a high C, and the ability to transition up through the passage. It's thrilling to be at this point- always, in the back of my head, I've said "if only I could hit all the notes, I could be very strong." And now, I think, I CAN hit all the notes. So it is definitely time to work on enriching the quality of my sound, and getting that warm, sonorous operatic tone spinning 100% of the time.

At this time last year, I was not confident I'd have arias ready by now. However, I feel very confident that I will have arias polished and ready by this time next year. That may be too late for my purposes- I'd like to have arias polished and ready by this fall, for YAP auditions. It's both exciting and scary to have made it to this point with my voice- but the only option is to see just how much further I can, indeed, make it at all.

Sounds like practice time!

A Brief Update!

2010-05-03T22:11:00.003-04:00

It's been a little while, but I've been crazy busy with work.

However, I'm happy to report that I had an excellent lesson last night! John and I worked a lot with this new, headier sound that I've found, and determined over the course of the evening that my voice is definitely behaving like a tenor in its specifics.

I've definitely uncovered a lot of fascinating things recently, all of which will require some serious playing-with to get nailed down. I am currently, however, feeling VERY optimistic about my voice's future!

In addition, Eve had a horrible very bad day. :(

But then I came home and gave her massages while we watched a show about Yellowstone, so it wasn't ALL bad- after all, she likes nature shows. ;)

The Continuing Adventures

2010-04-28T21:28:00.002-04:00

Vocal successes repeated today! For a guy who wondered if he was really a tenor to be singing through "je crois entendre encore" and "pour mon ame" on an [a] vowel is quite the turnaround.

It's interesting to me how frequently I come across some "next iteration" of my voice which I KNOW is not the final product- it certainly doesn't sound professional- and yet the gains from working with that iteration are so incredibly clear. With previous technical methods, I've had mixed results getting above the staff at all. With this most recent head-voicey-light-open-ness, getting up to a high C isn't even that tough- and certainly doesn't feel strenuous.

The key here is to ask "what makes that high stuff so easy this way, and can I retain those elements with a full-voiced production?"

The answer to that second bit is, invariably, "yes"- but it may take some work.

Ups and Downs

2010-04-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

So yesterday I was so frustrated with my voice that I was just about ready to call it quits. More in a figurative sense than a literal one, but there were some literal doubts in there too. It just wasn't working- I couldn't reproduce my earlier successes, I couldn't even imagine how I could be successful as a baritone, let alone a tenor (I picked up two baritone pieces at John's suggestion- Avant de quittez ces lieux and Some Enchanted Evening), and thoroughly imagined that just about everyone everywhere was better than I. Additionally, I haven't heard back yet from an audition I went to last Wednesday, which means I'm operating under the assumption that I was not cast. This I should get used to, but it's still a bummer.

Today, however, I listened to my last lesson all day at work, just playing in my ear. On the drive home I started trying out some of the stuff in the lesson- and instantly it all clicked into place. I would say that today was probably the most wildly successful practice session of the past year, as far as accomplishing the goals of my lesson and exercises on my own, without my instructor. It's all about this idea of using LESS sound, somehow- like there's a mute in place, but instead of stopping the sound it sends it up into my resonance chambers even more. It's almost impossible to describe- it's almost like there's a cotton ball in place, but once I've made the space for that cotton ball I can take AWAY the cotton ball and get very clear sound that's SO much easier to produce than ever before. Like a thinner tonal beam, like a huge relaxation- a focus much more on the spaces above my mouth- my resonance chambers- rather than on what's going on in my larynx- because, obviously, NOTHING should be going on in my larynx.

Anyway, with all this in place, I can relax so much more in my throat and produce some really nice full tone. If I can keep working with this until the coming Sunday (the time to which my lesson was moved), then I'm certain John will be quite interested indeed.

A note about baritonity- John had me grab those pieces because, he says, his subconscious kept popping me into his mind and saying "could we please look at some high lyric baritone stuff?" And, he says, his subconscious wouldn't be doing that if there weren't something to be gained by doing so. Not necessarily that I'm going to end up a baritone, though he thinks I could still find plenty of work that way, but that working on that stuff will prove beneficial to me somehow. And who knows- maybe I will turn out to be a baritone.

In response to that, however, Eve says that she strongly thinks I'm a tenor. I'm inclined to agree- tonight, after all, I sang up to a high E natural. Which is perhaps more stratospheric than any actual piece of music has been written, though I'm not entirely certain on that point. Sure, it wasn't a GOOD E natural, or a full-voice E natural, but it was easy and sounded true.

Long story short, I'm feeling better about my singing today. Thank goodness!

One final note- the blogosphere has been joined by one of my friends (and a member of the choir) from UPUCC, where I work! Lauren has just started blogging about her weightloss journey, and it has truly been quite a remarkable one. To use some gamerspeak, she set her mind on a goal and then pwned that n00b harder than it had ever been pwned before. I'm always happy to have more friends in the blogosphere, but I'm also a strong supporter of blogging as a way of keeping track of progress on personal goals- after all, that's basically been my purpose here for the last 2.5 years! Anyway, give her a visit and wish her well! Hi Lauren!

Listening

2010-04-24T16:42:00.004-04:00

I have another lesson tomorrow, and the stuff we worked with last time was so interesting that I've been listening to it and attempting it just nonstop.

I'm going to listen to the important bits again right now, and take some notes!

So I'm working with this really light, heady, open, relaxed sound. I'm finding this sound easiest to reproduce on an [a] vowel. I'll have to try practicing this sound and transitioning to other vowels.

* It's definitely very half-voicy at the start, which seems to immediately set me up for success.

* [i]'s are just not as good- and when I return to an [a] after an [i], something's been changed. Sounds like I should iron this out!

* I get somewhat pushed fairly quickly after beginning- it's still lighter than usual, but what would happen if I kept the super light half-voice all the way through to the end? Seems like I should find out!

* High stuff is better when I slide up to it.

* What change am I making, exactly, when I sing this way? Thinner tonal beam? More open "works"?

* There's really very little improvement in sound when I try to sing louder. The quiet seems to cut as effectively as the loud stuff!

* It's like just a mental n'th-degree of openness. All I have to do is think about it, and it happens- I just have to be more focused on thinking about it!

* Note: it sounds, honestly, like there's still something in the way a little bit, or like I could be even more open. Some upper resonances get chopped off the top, somehow. I'll have to see if I can't get it even more open.

*****

Now for a break, while I practice and play with some of this stuff!

*****

First attempt- very nice, light, heady, even!

Second attempt- the louder/heavier version. Not as smooth and consistent! Not only that, but I got the impression after doing it that it threw off stuff afterwards! Definitely need to spend more time and focus on the light, heady, even version- even if it's just half-voice. Just because it doesn't sound right and professional doesn't mean it's not a step in the right direction!

Octaves down are decent- I can start at the top easier than I can ascend to the top. Ascending loses something- maybe too much pushing/forcing? It might actually have been these exercises that threw me off.

Definitely sounds like there's a certain amount of, shall we say, "thinness" that the sound needs to be successful when it's so open. A big open chamber at the top, but only a small opening into it?

Starting with a light "h" seems to really help set things up in the right place.

[a] is really nice on all this stuff, but other vowels are harder. Practicing those other vowels now-

[u], not too bad. Some nice brightness coming out at points- will have to work on relaxing so that brightness can come through more!

[o]- sounds too much like ["uh"]. Must practice this more.

* Should always start these exercises with a light "h"- it just helps so much.

Hm... interesting stuff. Hopefully the lesson tomorrow night will help to sort out some of the craziness. That's all for now!

Ponderings

2010-04-19T18:52:00.002-04:00

As I laid awake last night, unable to sleep because of an overly enthusiastic nap earlier in the day, my mind wandered (somewhat morosely) to my botched NC Symphony audition at the start of the year. I was regretful- I was perceived as unprofessional, when I had done much in hopes of appearing just the opposite- and for reasons which were somewhat beyond my control. The vocal critiques stung somewhat as well- it's never fun to be told you probably wouldn't be heard over an orchestra.

But never fear, gentle reader- this story has a happy ending!

In my somewhat disheartened state, I began pondering the long months which had now intervened between that unfortunate event and the present day, and just how little I'd accomplished in that time, vocally.

But then I stopped myself and actually counted. How many long months have passed since said audition?

Three.

How much have I accomplished in that time, vocally?

A ton!

It's amazing to look back and think that it was only three (and a half) months ago, by now, that I auditioned for the Symphony. At that time, my high A was brand new. Now it's 3 months and a full show older- and it was a show which garnered me some very specific praise! Granted, one can't take these things too seriously, but perhaps more importantly I felt very strong, personally, about my performance in "The Mikado"- it was a performance that I was, for my current level, proud to call my own.

At the same time, I would venture to say that while my range has perhaps not changed significantly in 3 months, the timbre of my voice has probably changed dramatically- and the current work I'm doing with piano, open, resonant half-voice is causing change at an incredible rate. Even in my little playings-around I can already tell that my body is starting to fight itself- the old instincts want me to squeeze and tighten, but my new instincts are kicking in and fighting to remain relaxed and open.

Back then, I'd never taught a single student- now I have a few private students of my own, each making some significant progress, and a few more interested parties waiting in the wings- both for voice and for conducting! I'm also in the process of opening up our church's music program to a number of small ensembles or soloists for the summer, which is an exercise in coordination all unto itself.

I've met new people, made new friends, read new books, and learned a lot. All in the first three-and-a-half months of my new marriage! So looking back on recent history, I think I can safely say I've made a ton of changes.

And I want the good to continue- now that I'm on a roll, vocally, I don't want to stop! I'm looking forward to the future with bravery and trepidation, excited about trying to make a sufficient financial commitment to my relationship through purely musical means. John wants me to consider Young Artist Program auditions this fall as a necessity- as many as I can manage- which will itself launch me into another section of my life, the section where I go through a trial by fire to see if I have what it takes to make it as a performing artist.

Until then, there's only one thing to do-

Practice, of course.

And try to spend plenty of time with Eve. ;)

Progress

2010-04-18T16:37:00.002-04:00

...Has a way of feigning ease.

That's a line from one of my favorite artists, anyway.

But this week, at least, Progress has been surprising! If you've been following me on twitter, then you know I've been posting somewhat arcane updates about my "success rate" all week. Basically, I've been doing exercises in a very light, open, piano head voice, where the primary goal was just to stay very piano, very light, and very open over my whole register. The "success rate" reflects how much of the time I felt I was successful at attaining those goals. Here are the past few updates:

Thursday, 4/15: Practiced a ton tonight- probably around a 30% success rate! Way up from previously, but maddeningly low. ;) #singing #practice

Friday, 4/16: To practice: [u] to [a], [u] to [E], [u] to [e] (though it's not too bad), and [u] to [i]. #singing #practice #ipa Success rate ~32%?

Saturday, 4/17: Tons of #practicing today, WAY more successful. Let's go up to 70%, even! See what happens when you do it every damn day? #singing

Sunday, 4/18: #practiced like the dickens, to fantastic effect. 92% success rate ftw! Looking back on the past week it's great to see progress.

As you can see, by my own analysis at least, I appear to have been getting wildly more successful at attaining the goals of this exercise every day! Now, to be fair, my numbers may be unfairly large. But still, the comparative difference in success each day is fantastic! I really feel like this exercise is helping me to get more open, round, and relaxed.

I've also discovered that working out before practicing does a number of fantastic things for my singing. I've been trying to do it regularly lately- I think I've managed to exercise about every other day this week. Primarily it's to aid my singing, but I honestly wouldn't mind putting on a little more muscle as well- after all, I have to look good on stage!

Well, there's only one thing to do now- continue practicing seriously until my lesson next Sunday! And, of course, beyond that.

Dang dang dang!

2010-04-14T22:42:00.002-04:00

This new stuff is TOUGH to get right! I know it's just because I'm so used to doing it differently and I just need to slow down and take baby steps, but it's SO EASY to do it wrong! Too much clenching, pushing, forcing, etc- I just have to chillax and do HALF VOICE ONLY for like the next week straight. Only once I've got a completely solid, relaxed, open, free half voice, ONLY THEN can I put more power behind it. And then only a little tiny bit!

New stuff is always frustrating- I want to get it superfast, but it just takes time! And practice, but even when I practice every day I never have enough time to practice as much as I want.

OH WELL!

Coincidence?

2010-04-12T13:47:00.004-04:00

So in my previous post, I talked about how I sort of found a thinned-down tonal beam to be helpful in getting up through the passage.

Then I went and had a lesson with John immediately after it.

Halfway through the lesson, he said "now, your natural instinct is to sing harder and more forward and more intensely as you go up. What if you try the opposite, where you're just very light and open and even?" (NOT a direct quote. He said it less lame than I did.)

And lo and behold, I brought back that thinned-down tonal beam in sort of a half-voice style without any pushing or force at all, and really made some beautiful sounds up through the passage and up above the staff.

It's like, when I'm singing quietly, I have to do all the right things even MORE so- so much more so, that I have to be WAY open and round, WAY forward, WAY supported- to the point where everything goes really right because all of that stuff is so extreme.

It's a very hard sound to reproduce cold, but if I'm listening to the recording I can reproduce it. John says he wants to see what happens with my voice if I just make this sound every day between now and our next lesson. Sounds fun to me!

Let's see if I can't describe it a little bit...

I'm paying more attention to a lifted soft palate and large resonance spaces when I inhale. Instead of thinking forward, I'm thinking about making a vertical column of sound straight from my esophagus into my nasal cavities. I'm also supporting lower (which you have to do when the sound is smaller), and I'm thinking about making the "tonal beam" smaller in diameter. While still thinking about remaining hugely open. There's lots of vibration in my nasal resonance spaces- kind of a tickly feeling.

Fascinating, Captain!

2010-04-10T20:10:00.001-04:00

I think I'm figuring something interesting out about going above the staff-

I think I need to (oh god here comes the arcane "singer speak") use a smaller column of sound to make it work! And if I do, I can get this nice ringy high stuff without too much effort! It's more supported, it's more placed, but... the... column.... of sound... is just smaller! WHATEVER THE HECK THAT MEANS.

Amusing

2010-04-10T10:10:00.002-04:00

So, as I think I've mentioned recently, I'm reading through "Great Singers on Great Singing" by Jerome Hines. It's amusing to read what they all say about singing- and though there are some contradictions, for sure, by and large they all say the same core things.

And one of those core things has to do with breathing!

Jerome Hines (who conducts these interviews) will ask a singer what the sensation is like when they're breathing or supporting properly, and they'll look kind of bashful and say something like "Well of course you can't print this- I don't know how you'll describe it- but it's just like going to the bathroom!"

And of course Hines is sitting there smiling, nodding, commiserating in their mild embarrassment, and quoting them word-for-word.

An amusing thought- and perhaps one I should try!

Breaking Habits!

2010-04-09T14:25:00.002-04:00

So I've known for a long time that I clear my throat often. It's probably a fairly distinctive feature of mine. My parents both do so as well, and, interestingly enough, we all clear our throats in the same way!

However, as a singer, this simply will not do. I need to find a way to stop clearing my throat. My poor vocal cords would probably appreciate the attempt.

I am, however, unsure how to go about trying to stop clearing my throat so much, other than calling attention to it and actively trying to resist the urge to clear my throat! I should probably also drink plenty of water.

I've heard that frequent throat clearing can be a sign of some other vocal unhappiness- nodes, or poor use in speaking (or singing), but I've been doing it for so long that it could be that the throat-clearing is itself in a feedback loop- I clear my throat to rid my cords of mucus, which abrades the cords, which causes them to produce more mucus, which causes me to clear my throat. If my attempts at simply shutting down the habit are unsuccessful, I may very well seek out a voice pathologist- just because if I want to use my voice as a professional instrument, then I'd do well to address any issues early on rather than later!

Thoughts? Similar experiences? Share!

Shoutout!

2010-04-07T21:50:00.002-04:00

... To Monifa, with whom I've had a few entertaining interactions. She mentioned me in her blog, which (BEHOLD!) I am now linking from mine.

Woohoo! Musical bloggers of the Triangle Area UNITE!

Ahem.

I apologize for that. I don't know what came over me. I got a little excited. But in truth, it is fun to arrange for freer exchange of ideas on singing and art and opera with other local musicians. I hope to visit the meetings she organizes at some point in the near future!

Art and Truth

2010-04-06T11:19:00.003-04:00

David Mamet said (I can't find the exact quote, though I found a book quoting him) that people come to the theatre to hear the truth.

So what is the truth?

These days, maybe not a great one, not for many people anyway. The economy sucks, it doesn't look like much is going to be done about it, people are losing their jobs, unable to find a job, or unable to work as many hours as they'd like, the political system in the US is partially paralyzed by invective and partisanship, we're fighting two wars halfway across the world, and people would rather talk about how many women Tiger Woods has slept with than any practical solutions to any of the above. On top of it all, major scientific groups are asserting that we are either against or have passed a tipping point as far as our climate is concerned, and there's just no way that's going to be pretty 100 years from now.

I'm facing unemployment in a few months- a scary prospect. Eve makes enough money to support us both, but she would not be happy doing it. In the meantime, I can't keep working at a software job and expect to advance to the level I want in singing. That means a lot of work on my part- work building a studio of invested singers, work as a conductor to make myself marketable and maybe pull in a few extra jobs that way, work as a singer. Especially work as a singer. The future is very uncertain- even if I do all this work, the path from here to there is by no means clear. It's more like a thorny jungle, filled with man-eating plants. What auditions should I try for? Where are they? Should I take a summer program I have to pay to attend? Can we afford for me to do something like that? What happens if I have to spend 6 months in Italy?

In the meantime, it's becoming clear to me that people are just crazy- I mean totally screwed up. People seem to constantly hamper themselves, or vote against their interests, or make bad choices. And even when someone makes good choices, the people around them may not play along. A friend was telling me about his falling out with one of his friends a few years back- I couldn't help but be reminded of the ex-girlfriend I haven't spoken to since I started dating Eve, now my wife. Is it her fault we don't speak? Is it mine? Yes and no- nobody's innocent here. We're all screwed up, and we all screwed up. I think everyone has someone they ended up being unable to stand, and everyone has people who can't stand them.

So the truth seems to be pretty dark. A world full of screwed up people, screwing themselves and their friends up.

But that's not all I see in the world.

Somehow all of that stuff seems balanced out by just the smallest things, like the way my friend's infant daughter imitated her mom by cooing into her cheek. Or making sure to bring Eve home her favorite sandwich even though we fought about dinner. Or sitting outside and writing in the evening sun of a warm spring afternoon. And let's not forget music- not just classical, of course, but popular as well. I have some great stuff on my ipod right now that I haven't listened to since high school- and I still love it just as much. Or the way people start over and make new friends, deciding that this brand new person is worth their time and attention.

Even the pollen isn't all bad- as I got into my car this morning, I watched from the inside as small eddies pushed whirlwinds of pollen across my windshield, and marveled at the beauty of it. Or the daffodils that pushed up, alternately yellow and gauze, on the median. Or the two bluejays fighting-or-flirting in a single corner of the yard, each unwilling to leave or take the fun elsewhere.

And, to me, there's a force outside of us that floats, waiting for us to pay attention to it, waiting for us to quiet ourselves and listen. And if we can just open ourselves to it, get ourselves out of the way, then it can come through us more perfectly and show itself in our world. That's what music is to me.

I can't boil down the truth into a summary without losing the impact- even translating what I feel into words flattens it out. But if I were to do so, it might read something like this-

To me, the truth of the world is that there's a lot of stuff that's really horrible. On a global scale, on a moral scale, and on a personal scale, there's plenty to make any sane human seriously consider just lying down and giving up. Part of the tragedy there is that there are people who do just that with their lives. But there's a second act, in that not everyone does- in fact, probably not even most people do. I might even go so far as to assert that even people who've laid down and stopped can decide, at the drop of a hat, to get back up. And while there's bad things in the world, there's also so much beauty as well.

Perhaps the greatest thing about being human, to me, is the simple variety of experience we get to enjoy. And yes, sometimes it's hard, but that hardness is our very own challenge, our very own pain and unpleasantness. It's there for us, and it's there to be matched with a counter, also our very own. And ultimately, I really do believe that we have a choice in each of those matters- perhaps not necessarily in what happens to us (or not entirely), but definitely in how we respond to what happens.

What is the truth? Life is the greatest, biggest, smallest, pettiest, ugliest, most beautiful drama we could ever have imagined, and the stage is by no means too big for its players. We each belong here, exactly where we are, and nobody can tell us otherwise.

That's what I believe.

So how do I sing all that?

Oh Wait!

2010-04-04T23:37:00.003-04:00

How am I feeling today?

The porch door rests ajar, the sun beaming down on a snoozing cat, belly up, legs splayed, upside down, cheshire grin turned cheshire frown.

Finally Better!

2010-04-04T23:00:00.003-04:00

My own illness is finally departing! This fills me with joy, because it means I can do some serious practice again. Eve is still suffering under the effects of her own variant, which seems to be crueler in nature than mine.

I've been reading "Great Singers on Great Singing" by Jerome Hines, and from the interviews in it, it seems that there are about four technical aspects that high level singers believe bring mastery:

1- Placement.

2- Breath support, or the feeling of expansion of the midsection, even while breathing out.

3- Raised soft palate. Though this could possibly be rolled into placement.

4- Lowered larynx, with the same caveat as 3.

Interestingly, may of them also trained on scales exclusively!

With these things in mind, and with the caveat that whenever I think "oh, maybe THIS will help," I end up going back to placement for the actual solutions to all my issues, how can I build these elements into my own singing?

1- Seems fairly obvious. My entire training is based on building placement. Placido Domingo used the metaphor of thinking of the sound as a tennis ball that you're getting ready to serve- it's way out in front of you, at arm's length. Good to hear my teacher's sentiments echoed by someone so outrageously successful, famous, and influential. I've gotta keep that brick feeling- that was working for me like a charm.

2- Someone suggested (maybe even Domingo again) wearing an elastic band around your waist and using your abdomen to stretch it out while singing. I had tried this before with a belt- maybe it's time to bring it back! I remember Beth Linnartz talking about breath support as a "resistance to collapse in the upper abdomen"- maybe this is a good way to train that same effect.

3- I do think that, to a certain extent, this is part of placement. If placement is right, then your palate cannot be dropped. However, how would one go about being observant of a raised palate? Perhaps the biggest thing is just to take slow, even breaths in through your nose, as if you're smelling flowers or a brownie. I know that works to GET the palate up, so maybe simple repetition of that (with attention paid) will also train the palate to stay up permanently.

4- This is the section I'm probably most mystified on. Suggestions, anyone? How does one train their larynx to stay low? I've always had a problem with my larynx rising and "clenching." Is a lowered larynx an emergent feature of good singing? Or is good singing an emergent feature of a lowered larynx? Chicken/egg. Perhaps the same "smell roses or brownies" exercise, coupled with a slight yawn feeling while inhaling will have the same effect- GET the larynx down repeatedly, and, with attention, it will eventually learn to stay down permanently.

I practiced today for about 45 minutes, doing lots of scales. I've been noticing, recently, that my exercises are not terribly difficult for me- but when I try to apply them to pieces (especially tenor-ish repertoire) I quickly get tired. Wondering if that's because my exercises are so short that they don't really train endurance, I put together a whole series of quick-running scales and did plenty of practicing on them as well as the exercises.

I'll have to keep this up! My voice made some dramatic leaps forward over "The Mikado," but I'm certainly not ready to be done with that sort of acceleration. My voice is probably not ready for performance or grad school yet, but I think the message I'm getting these days is "it's time to put in some serious hours of work, Steven." Good to hear, voice- good to hear.

Artistry

2010-04-02T19:41:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about artistry a lot, and what it is to be an artist, and what makes one an artist... and how to practice being such a creature.

I've set my iPod on permanent random/loop and been enjoying the mix that pops up- it's a wide array of styles, tempos, and emotions.

I suppose I've been thinking, specifically, how to build the artistic side of my art. I work like the dickens on the technical part, but that's not all there is to singing or music. The hope, of course, is that your technique allows you to get out of the way of your art, but, of course, you have to have art there behind it to come through.

My brother (a writer) wrote something in his facebook status message that I really liked- so much, in fact, that I'm going to quote him here:

"Woke up at 3 am and the moon was right there and we had a conversation. I in the moonlight and the moon in the sunlight. The world is very beautiful."

I don't think there's much I could say about it that would do it justice, so I'm just going to leave it.

So how does one go about growing as an artist? I think it requires a lot of attention. Attention to depth, and to emotion. After all, what is art but expression of emotion so strong that it evokes emotion in others? Actually, that's a big enough question to warrant further inquiry, but perhaps at another time: what is art? I'm not certain any one person can answer it!

Anyway!

How do I feel today?

It's like jumping into a cool pool on a hot summer day after you've been running for a long time, and your muscles ache with each heartbeat, but the race was then, and now is the cool water and golden warm sunlight.

Some Poems

2010-03-27T13:20:00.006-04:00

Ben Johnson:

O know to end, as to begin :
A minute's loss in love is sin.
These humors will the night out-wear
In their own pastimes here ;
You do our rites much wrong,
In seeking to prolong
These outward pleasures :
The night hath other treasures
Than these, though long conceal'd,
Ere day to be reveal'd.
Then, know to end, as to begin ;
A minute's loss in love is sin.

***

Have you seen but a bright lily grow
Before rude hands have touched it?
Have you marked but the fall o' the snow
Before the soil hath smutched it?
Have you felt the wool of beaver?
Or swan's down ever?
Or have smelt o' the bud o' the brier?
Or the nard in the fire?
Or have tasted the bag of the bee?
O so white! O so soft! O so sweet is she!

***

Oh doe not wanton with those eyes,
Lest I be sick with seeing;
Nor cast them downe, but let them rise,
Lest shame destroy their being:
O, be not angry with those fires,
For then their threats will kill me;
Nor looke too kind on my desires,
For then my hopes will spill me;
O, doe not steepe them in thy Teares,
For so will sorrow slay me;
Nor spread them as distract with feares,
Mine owne enough betray me.

***

Wretched and foolish Jealousy,
How cam'st thou thus to enter me?
I ne'er was of thy kind:
Nor have I yet the narrow mind
To vent that poor desire,
That others should not warm them at my fire:
I wish the sun should shine
On all men's fruit, and flowers, as well as mine.

But under the disguise of love,
Thou say'st, thou only cam'st to prove
What my affections were.
Think'st thou that love is help'd by fear?
Go, get thee quickly forth,
Love's sickness, and his noted want of worth.
Seek doubting men to please;
I ne'er will owe my health to a disease.

***

Slow, slow, fresh fount, keep time with my salt tears;
Yet slower, yet; O faintly gentle springs:
List to the heavy part the music bears,
Woe weeps out her division, when she sings.
Droop herbs and flowers;
Fall grief in showers;
Our beauties are not ours;
O, I could still,
Like melting snow upon some craggy hill,
Drop, drop, drop, drop,
Since nature's pride is, now, a withered daffodil.

***

Consider this small dust, here in the glass,
By atoms moved:
Could you believe that this the body was
Of one that loved;
And in his mistress' flame playing like a fly,
Was turned to cinders by her eye:
Yes; and in death, as life unblest,
To have't exprest,
Even ashes of lovers find no rest.

***

Sara Teasdale:

ONE by one, like leaves from a tree,
All my faiths have forsaken me;
But the stars above my head
Burn in white and delicate red,
And beneath my feet the earth
Brings the sturdy grass to birth.
I who was content to be
But a silken-singing tree,
But a rustle of delight
In the wistful heart of night,
I have lost the leaves that knew
Touch of rain and weight of dew.
Blinded by a leafy crown
I looked neither up nor down—
But the little leaves that die
Have left me room to see the sky;
Now for the first time I know
Stars above and earth below.

A Review!

2010-03-25T22:46:00.003-04:00

I wanted to post this here just for posterity's sake. "The Mikado" got reviewed! Here's my favorite part:

"...it’s gratifying to report that this run of The Mikado is the most musically sure-footed of any Savoyard production I’ve seen to date. The first temptation is to praise the leads: Steven Lumpkin’s clear crystal tenor as protagonist Nanki-Poo, the Japanese empire’s semi-ditzy heir apparent, and soprano aerialist Keely Phillips’ matching achievements as his rather vain love, Yum-Yum."

It may be the first time I've been described as a "crystal clear tenor," and I'm quite tickled to have the terms applied to me. Perhaps, if I'm VERY lucky, I shall claim them again at some point in the future.

That's all for tonight- I'm thoroughly beat from months and months of rehearsals, and plan on seriously enjoying some relaxation now that the most pressing concerns are accomplished.

Ta ta!

Tonight's the Night

2010-03-18T10:17:00.002-04:00

Opening night for "The Mikado" by the Durham Savoyards! Everyone's worked very hard on this show, and I think it will go well.

We've had our harrowing moments up to now, but they've all been getting addressed. We added some extra light on the conductor to help us poor singers see him a bit better, we were adjusting the sound backstage all through last night's run, but I think we finally got everything adjusted so that the on-stage folks can keep together with the off-stage folks. Now we just all need to keep together with the conductor... ;)

There are exciting moments every night, but if one thing's certain it's that the performances are always stronger for every pre-performance moment of panic. The more issues we identify early, the fewer we have to find halfway through the show!

And then there's the audience, and that really is a rush. This sea of people stretching out, barely seen, into the darkness ahead of you, all watching what you're doing, waiting to be entertained by it. And when they are, their reactions are electrifying- in fact, even the potential of their reactions is electrifying! It's a sensation that affects everyone on stage, and most in different ways. It's a powerful sort of energy, and the key to using it is probably something akin to surfing (though I've never done that)- you don't want to miss the wave because you're too relaxed, and you don't want to get so caught up that you stumble, but if you can use the feedback to maintain and augment your energy, then the whole evening is a fantastic wild ride.

I'm excited about tonight! We've put in a ton of work... hopefully the reward (audience enjoyment, and a personal sense of doing a good job) will match or exceed!

Tired.

2010-03-15T09:21:00.006-04:00

Wow. I am pretty dang bushed. Between "spring forward," a lesson that ran until 12:30 am this morning (started at 10:50 at night!), and an early work start to compensate for getting off from work early every night for "The Mikado," I'm definitely feeling some heavy eyelids.

But no matter!

As I mentioned, I'm getting off work early every evening for "The Mikado." Why?

Why, because it's TECH WEEK for "The Mikado!" This evening is our first rehearsal in the Carolina Theatre- a tech rehearsal. That means we'll all stand around on stage and run through things slowly to make sure that all the lights are set to the right levels and changing at the right times, and that the setpieces are all moving in the right ways at the right times. And there are apparently a bunch of active setpieces in this show- screens that get pushed left and right, banners that get flown in and out, and an arch that gets set up for the second half.

I probably won't do much singing tonight- I want to rest my voice, and this week is intense; we've effectively got a full run of the show Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday- a potentially grueling pace. I'm trying to drink a ton of water, wash my hands regularly, and eat healthily- I even bought two cartons of orange juice I intend to chug over the course of the week.

Yesterday was a blast... we had our sitzprobe for the show. All us singers and actors gathered in the rehearsal space with the small orchestra that will be playing for us and sung through the whole show, start to finish! The orchestra sounds very solid- probably the strongest, this early, of the three Savoyards orchestras I've heard- which gives me high hopes for the sounds of the actual performances.

After the show, most of the cast descended on the Warehouse to move the setpieces into the truck for transport to the Carolina Theatre- I, still dressed in my church clothes, headed home to have dinner with Eve and my parents. I'll admit that I can't wait to see the set- every Savoyards set is a delight to look at, and this one sounds fantastic from what I've heard so far.

I was scheduled to have a voice lesson this coming Wednesday, until I realized that it was also the night of our Dress Rehearsal. I quickly emailed John to reschedule, and we decided to meet "late Sunday night"- aka, last night. I wanted a final voice lesson before the show went up, just because they've all been going so well. Last night was no exception- I sang some pretty challenging stuff, and managed to do some things rather well- but with a 10:50 start time, the lesson kept me out until 12:30 at night! Lessons with John are always invigorating.

Lately we've been working on "Fra poco a me ricovero.... Tombe degli'avvi miei" - Edgardo's aria from "Lucia di Lammermoor." This "brick" idea I got in our last lesson has really been holding true ever since, and it proved helpful last night as well. I'll have to put in plenty of time with it on my own- after all, having reached THIS step in my development, I'm only more eager to reach the next.

That's all for now! If you're in the triangle area this Thursday through Sunday, I hope you'll seriously consider coming out and seeing the show that so many people have been working on so hard for the last 2.5 months!

Drive

2010-03-11T22:27:00.002-05:00

Yum-yum asserts that I'd be an excellent leading man for golden-age musicals. She confronted me with this information a few nights ago, and said I should try out for some- that she knows directors who'd be willing to pay good money, and people who would be incredibly jealous.

I don't know how correct she is, but she asserts that it is so- and that she also wanted to be a casting agent if not a singer, so she knows some of what to look for.

When confronted with this information, I shrugged.

It's been also brought up repeatedly that I should audition for X musical, or Y straight play- tonight's was Playmakers'. Again, I shrugged, and replied "Opera, Yum-yum. Opera." This brought about a flurry of replies ranging from "but why not??" to "it's not high art enough for him", mostly (I think) in jest.

But the question "why not?" is a legitimate one- and that's the one I'm thinking about right now.

Why do I not want to perform in musicals?

The answer is not that I don't like them.

The answer is not that I think they're less of an art form than opera.

The answer is not that I think they're easier than opera, though I will say that I think the *singing* is easier in a musical than an opera- with the caveat that there's a lot more you have to manage in a musical, including more rigorous blocking, a microphone, dancing, and 8 performances a week.

The answer is not that I love opera and only listen to opera and think opera is more enjoyable to listen to than all other music.

So I've set up a whole lot of reasons why I DON'T not want to perform in musicals.

So why DO I not want to perform in musicals?

It has something to do with drive. And something to do with my body.

I think the easiest, and probably most honest, response is that I am obsessed. There is this thing that some people can do with their bodies, with their voices, that I want to be able to do. I have tasted the barest glimpses of it, and dammit I want more. I have heard people, both living and dead, who have had parts of it in varying amounts- and, occasionally, in my lessons, I find small parts of it with my teacher's help. And each lesson I find just a little bit more. As I listen more, as I find more, as I sing more, the bar for perfection gets higher and higher. But, and here's the important part, there are people who have hit that bar. Maybe not with every song, every show, every aria- but there are singers like whom I would be absolutely thrilled to sound.

And for some reason, the need to find that bar for myself has viscerally buried itself deep inside of me, and will not let go. And I don't want it to! Will I ever reach it? Let's be honest, the chances of that are so incredibly slim. Not everyone gets to be Pavarotti- and even if we expand the field, not everyone gets to be Kraus, Gedda, Di Stefano, Pavarotti, Vickers, Bjoerling, Caruso, or Gigli.

But there's only one way to get there, and it isn't by giving up, or by thinking I won't ever make it to that level of ability.

So here's where musicals come into play. I hate to say it, but I really do regard the music within musicals as being easier to sing than the music in operas. Obviously not true for every pairing of musical-versus-opera, but if you take the hardest opera and compare it to the hardest musical, I think the opera would come out on top, from a standpoint of sheer challenge-of-singing. Many people would disagree, I'm sure, and when we get down to the rigorous schedules of most performing musicals and the unique difficulties that microphones convey the race becomes closer- but as I think I've already made clear, it is the physical, visceral act of SINGING in which I am primarily interested. And so, to me, musicals don't seem as interesting as operas.

But still- if I could do it, as some assert, and I could get paid for it, then why not?

One answer is that to put effort into training my body to sing in a musical style, with microphones, goes directly counter to training my body to sing in an operatic style, without microphones. And one thing my training has thoroughly convinced me of is that, truly, singing relies heavily on building muscle memory and using that to work FOR you while you sing. So, effectively, every hour spent rehearsing in a musical style is an hour NOT spent rehearsing in an opera style- at best! At worst, it's an hour spent undoing an hour spent rehearsing in an opera style. Do I think it's that dramatic? Not really, no- but the point remains. If my bar is stratospheric, I want to use my energy as efficiently as possible in moving towards it.

But, you may say, surely there's some synergistic overlap between singing for musicals and singing for operas- and if you're getting paid to sing, maybe the synergy is worth it!

That's valid. So here's where the psychology comes in. I really really REALLY want to be damn incredible at singing opera. I really really REALLY believe that with enough work, I can get there. (Note that doesn't mean I'll have a career- that also takes a ton of luck as well as a ton of work.) Somehow, to me, if I were to start performing professionally in musicals, that's a tacit self-admission that I've hit an endpoint where I'm comfortable enough with my progress to say "alright, learning how to sing is done, now it's time to start refining how I sing." And I am NOT at that point by any means. I also am terrified of "slipping" into something. I do not want to "slip" into singing for one musical, and then "slip" into another, and have a string of musicals- or even "slip" into a successful career singing in musicals (I know that's not usually how it works, but remember we're dealing with abject terror here). I don't want to risk becoming comfortable in one thing such that I give up on the other.

Some people think that it takes 10,000 hours of work to become pretty good at something. If one regards opera singing and musical singing as separate somethings, why not focus all my hours on the one thing I really want?

So let's talk about opera, and where I think I am on that road.

I am fairly certain, by now, that I am (and will continue to be, and grow further into being) a tenor. My voice has always had that timbre, but I've never had the upper extension needed to sing operatic repertoire of any fach. I had no passage, because I had nothing ABOVE the passage- the passage was just the top of my voice. But now I DO have a passage. And now I DO have notes above the passage- I sing quite a number of Ab's and A's in "The Mikado," and while they're (admittedly) not great, they are at least sometimes decent. And let's not forget- three months ago they weren't "decent"- they were nonexistent. And every lesson I have is a leap forwards for me, personally. I don't know if others can hear the changes I make... and sometimes I can't even tell- but I do know that sometimes, on rare occasions, people say "that was different!" That's not random. That's on purpose. And if I can do it like that once, then why not do it like that every damn time?

But despite improvements, I'm still not ready for true operatic rep. There are specific pieces, and specific parts of other pieces, that are starting to sound decent- but none of it sounds like what you'd hear on the opera stage. But there's only one way to get from here to there- keep trying. Keep listening. Keep taking lessons with John. And keep focused.

I do want to perform, but I'm not ready yet. When I am happy with a few solid light-lyric or lyric tenor arias, perhaps then I will make my move and try my hand in the young artist's or performing world. Perhaps then I'll be ready to say to myself "I'm done learning HOW to sing, now I want to REFINE how I sing." But, and this is the point of this wall of text, I am NOT done learning how to sing.

As a disclaimer, even though I'm writing this post as though it were a response to an inquiry, and it is, I'm really answering the query more for myself than the askers. I know I've said some objectionable things, ranging from "opera > musicals" to "I believe I can be that good", but bear with me. After all, one of my personal mantras is "Don't tell yourself you're bad. Everyone else in the world will tell you you're bad, whether you invite them to or not. Just tell yourself how to get better- and that you can."

This blog really is just a place for me to keep my thoughts on music, opera, singing, etc. While I'm thinking of these things, it seems like a good idea to write them down. If not for my readers, fellow castmembers, and friends- then at least so I can understand myself.

Cheers!

Never give up.

in time of daffodils

2010-03-08T22:09:00.006-05:00

by e.e. cummings

in time of daffodils(who know

the goal of living is to grow)

forgetting why,remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim

the aim of waking is to dream,

remember so(forgetting seem)

in time of roses(who amaze

our now and here with paradise)

forgetting if,remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond

whatever mind may comprehend,

remember seek(forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be

(when time from time shall set us free)

forgetting me,remember me

This poem is the text to a song the Chamber Choir is singing... I really like both the text and the piece itself. I can't put my finger on exactly why, but I think it expresses a lot of sentiments I also feel. I reproduce it here for you all as well.

The Importance of Being Recorded

2010-03-08T10:07:00.002-05:00

So on Friday night's rehearsal for "The Mikado", a camera crew was on hand from UNC-TV to interview a few cast members and film some of the rehearsal process. I didn't get interviewed, having arrived slightly late for such things, but it was very fun to have the camera filming the rehearsal. Friday's rehearsal went incredibly well- whether we've just hit that magical amount of effort where everything is really starting to solidify or the camera had a magical effect on the cast we'll never know- but it was really a highly polished and enjoyable evening. Everyone, from musical director to stage director to the cameraman himself was laughing with enjoyment at the antics of those onstage. Really, having an audience, whether flesh-and-blood or digital, does make a difference- though nothing can quite compare to the energy of a packed house. Even the night of the week makes a difference- Friday Night audiences are usually a little more subdued from the work week, whereas Saturday Night audiences are more rested and enthusiastically responsive.

Before Sunday's rehearsal, a few of us gathered with David Ballantyne from WCPE (incidentally a fantastic classical-music station, with streaming internet-radio!) to talk about the show. It was a brief interview, but we're all thrilled about the possibility of getting the word out to more audiences!

Today's final anecdote, however, is about yesterday afternoon's rehearsal. I finally remembered to both bring my recorder, and record all my singing with it! I took a listen this morning... by and large (despite some momentary flubs), I think I sound very strong. The tessitura for my first aria is really very high- hanging around an F most of the time- and it sounds quite natural, which is nothing short of amazing, thinking back on my voice of yore. My voice sounds strong, though perhaps a little bright- I could bring more of that "grand opera" sound we found in my last lesson into my singing now- but the new placement idea of a brick (or a plank of wood, and I set the far end vibrating) really seems to be working and evening out all my registers.

It's very exciting to hear my voice SOUND as even as it's starting to feel. I need to bring more "grand opera" warmth to the sound, but with the placement in place that can only be easier than before. I'll have to record again- maybe in next Sunday's sitzprobe!

Bricks bricks bricks

2010-03-05T17:46:00.001-05:00

I'll elaborate later, but last lesson (Wednesday) we hit on the image of a BRICK to stand for placement- it's this solid, tangible, HARD thing that's just THERE- it doesn't need to grow or "get" there, it's just always there.

It's an excellent tool and one I need to remember!

Bricks, man, bricks!

Updates Soon

2010-03-01T11:27:00.002-05:00

I promise!

I've been outrageously busy lately- that's what happens the last 3 weeks of a Durham Savoyards' production. I'm rehearsing with them 4 times a week, with the Chamber Choir on Mondays, Church Choir on Wednesdays, and "Esther" on Saturdays! Let's see... 4 plus 3 equals.... rehearsals every day!

I took the day off today to do some much needed chores with Eve, pertaining to having recently gotten married! We'll be off in a moment, and then it's back to look over the music we'll be rehearsing tonight.

I really enjoy being a musician- learning music, rehearsing music, and improving my facility with music is just a complete blast.

Opera-singing Vampires

2010-02-16T11:17:00.003-05:00

GUYS

I'VE GOT IT

I SOLVED OPERA

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY GUYS

Yes. This morning was one of the ones where Eve left early (as she is wont to do) and I, having exercised most enthusiastically yesterday, headed back to bed for a refreshing morning nap. After my brief perusals of the internets, I plugged my ipod into my ears and set my opera playlist on random. Lying down in our cozy bed, I propped a pillow over my eyes and dozed off.

As usual, the point where I started dreaming was very fuzzy- I was lying in bed, listening to the music, and then I was dreaming that I was lying in bed, listening to the music.

Then things got interesting- I was in an old victorian mansion in some southern antebellum town, with a whole crew of victorian-era vampire hunters! Apparently everyone outside the house was a vampire, and we were a coalition of resistance members planning our counteroffensive. Everyone was dressed to the teeth with knives, guns, crossbows, silver bullets, holy water, wooden stakes, and mining picks. Think "Van Helsing."

Shortly, however, it came out that one of we survivors was actually a vampire! I quickly grabbed a trusty mining pick and the insurgent exposed himself by pulling a spring-loaded rifle on me! I took a few shots to the chest, but the weapon wasn't tightly wound enough and the bullets bounced right off. Acting quickly I flung my pick at the offender, skewering him through the heart and putting an end to the foul beast. I would like to take a moment and point out to my faithful readers that I am totally this badass in real life.

Somehow after this event some vampires from outside managed to get in, but we (the survivors) managed to subdue them. As they sat around the table, we hunters bristling with weaponry, they all sang "Nessun Dorma."

It's always thrilling to wake up from a nap like this to discover your singing voice is working wonderfully in the shower!

Schedule Catching Up

2010-02-15T22:18:00.002-05:00

So due to some misunderstandings earlier I had to seriously reexamine my schedule today, to make sure I had the free time necessary to be a part of one of my many projects. I think I've worked it out, but that always comes with significant sacrifices. Tentatively, I'm happy to make them- I only hope that I remain happy to have made them by the end of the process.

I have felt so driven lately. The more I listen to Jussi Bjoerling (a friend recently admitted she found him the pinnacle of singing excellence), Giuseppe Di Stefano, Enrico Caruso, Luciano Pavarotti, Alfredo Kraus and the like the more I am convinced, utterly, that what they can do is a tangible thing which can be learned and taught. There are just too many similarities in everything that makes their voices great for the case to be otherwise. I have my ipod on 24/7 these days, listening as I drive, sometimes as I work, as I eat, and- yes- sometimes as I sleep. I figure if I can just get that sound embedded as deeply in my brain as possible, then that can only help me- and honestly, I've had moments these last few days where I definitely thought I was being helped. It's times like this I find myself wishing I had more time to practice...

The only solution for it is to continue trying to apply what I've learned to every opportunity I have to sing; always round and tall in the back, always focused and forward in the front. Easy and relaxed production, with strong breath support- and anytime it feels more forward, that's always the right direction to be moving the sound.

I HAVE to get this. It's almost more about the puzzle for me than the music... which isn't to say I don't love the music- I do, but I'll focus on the music when I can sing it. Currently there's a puzzle in the way, and it's gotten to that point where I just can't stop now.

I remarked to a friend recently that I've never tried so hard at something, and never have I either been so steadily frustrated in my attempts- but I am definitely improving steadily.

Love in the Dictionary

2010-02-13T10:43:00.001-05:00

1- A strong, complex emotion, or feeling of personal attachment causing one to appreciate, delight in, or crave the presence or possession of the object; and to please and promote the welfare of that object. 2- Devoted affection or attachment, specifically the feeling between husband and wife, brother and sister, or lover and sweetheart. 3- One who is beloved, a sweetheart. 4- Animal passion. 5- The personification of the love passion; Cupid. 6- In some games, as tennis, nothing.

Crazy Dreams

2010-02-12T10:19:00.002-05:00

So every morning, Eve gets up at around 5:30, and gets me up to have breakfast with her around 6:50. This leaves me somewhat tired, and I have a weak will- which frequently turns into a trip back to the bed, rather than a trip to the gym as it should!

This morning, before my trip back to bed, I decided I'd plug in my ipod and do some sleep-listening, just for fun! And THAT's where things got trippy. I turned on some low music (Giuseppe Di Stefano), put a pillow over my eyes, and set about trying to sleep.

It took me a long time to get to sleep... but at some point I'm quite certain I shifted from 'lying there, listening to music, trying to sleep' to 'dreaming that I was lying there, listening to music, trying to sleep. I lay in one state, or the other, or the transition between them for a VERY long time- and then things got really weird.

I decided that I'd listened to the music enough, so I turned off the iPod- but the music kept going! I took my headphones out of my ears, and the music continued! It was like my brain was playing back the music so clearly that I could hear it. Bewildered, I got up to discover that the power was out- it was pitch black in my apartment! Confused, I also noted that it was about 5am. I stumbled around, tired, trying to find something that would turn on- some things would show glimmers of activity, and then go dead again.

About that time, Eve came in feeling affectionate. We discussed calling in sick to our jobs just to have some time to relax together. But then, just as quickly, she vanished and the air turned creepy. It was still pitch black, the power was still out, the music was still playing from nowhere, and it sounded like there might be an intruder either in the apartment or trying to get in from somewhere. I wandered around and started singing along to Jussi Bjoerling.

Then my cell phone alarm went off and I got up, happy to find that the power was on and it was nice and light out!

New Singers

2010-02-11T13:48:00.004-05:00

So I grabbed some recordings of Jussi Bjoerling and Giuseppe Di Stefano last night and loaded them onto my iPod for listening through my morning today. John's always pointing to these guys (and others- Caruso, Pavarotti, Kraus, Vickers, Gigli, etc) as exemplars of truly excellent singing, so I thought it was high time I put my hands (ears?) on some and took a good listen; especially with what we were talking about last night regarding the subconscious*!

It's fascinating to listen to these two guys, specifically, because they're like a bridge between Caruso and Gigli (very early 20th century) and Kraus and Pavarotti (later 20th century). Bjoerling debuted in about 1930, and Di Stefano debuted around 1940- and I can actually hear that time difference in their voices, which is fascinating! Also I can hear a lot of where Pavarotti got his style of singing from in the singing of Jussi Bjoerling, which is amazing to hear. Finally, John has repeatedly compared my voice to Di Stefano's- a flattering comparison which is not quite accurate, alas, but I'm happy to report that I perhaps CAN hear some timbral similarities there. His voice has a much easier production (great for me to listen to with an ear to imitating!), but there are some elements that are similar!

Anyway, the REALLY cool thing about listening to these two guys is that I can hear EXACTLY WHAT JOHN IS TALKING ABOUT, regarding line and placement and focus. Both Bjoerling and Di Stefano have this incredible line/spin/ring/ping/buzz going through every single possible moment of every line they sing- even more so, perhaps, than Kraus and Pavarotti. I can still hear it in both Kraus' and Pavarotti's voice, but when I plugged in these two guys it was IMPOSSIBLE to ignore- they just sound completely different than anyone else. Thinking also to the professional singers I've heard live recently, both in operas and at schools, having heard Bjoerling and Di Stefano, I would strongly point to that line/spin/ring/ping/buzz that they have as the aspect that's missing, 90% of the time, from nearly every singer I've heard live! Some are better about it than others, but I don't know that I've heard anyone live who has as much of it as Bjoerling/Di Stefano.

It's really great to hear, and my iPod mix now includes:

Pavarotti

Kraus

Caruso

Edith Piaf

Ella Fitzgerald/Louis Armstrong

Frank Sinatra

Giuseppe Di Stefano

Jussi Bjoerling

All in all, a strong selection of singers, I think!

*The basic idea is this- if you only ever use 5-8% of your brain, just think what you could do if you used all of it? Or tried to focus more of it on one task? Secondarily, if your subconscious can handle all the daily tasks you take for granted- eating, breathing, sleeping, thinking, dreaming, etc- then why shouldn't you be able to open it up to take control of another task, like singing? Eve tells me about one of her language professors who could learn a brand new language in 3 weeks, and John talks about the way he learned music and the way famous golfers learned golf- it all seems to point to the idea that there's a way to just open your head and pour the information you want into it. So I'm trying to open my head to pour in "proper singing."

Another Brilliant Lesson

2010-02-10T23:31:00.003-05:00

Lessons with John are always fascinating.

I can do things now (octaves from a low B natural to a high B natural?) that once would have seemed completely impossible! It's become my mantra recently, but my voice truly is changing at an exponentially accelerating rate.

We talked more about the subconscious tonight, and how singing is just about paring away all the "you" that's getting in the way of the music. I feel like I'm getting better at paring away- now I just need to pare away the "me" that's holding back my subconscious from letting things really take off.

Must listen to more "old guys" singing! Nicolai Gedda, Jussi Bjoerling, Giuseppi Di Stefano, Jon Vickers, Alfredo Kraus, Luciano Pavarotti, Enrico Caruso, Beniamino Gigli. I figure if I can just get enough of that sound in my head and then let my subconscious do the work....

I'm beginning to think incredible things really could happen. There's only one way to find out!

A brief update!

2010-02-10T10:31:00.002-05:00

So I got cast as Gideon in the upcoming new musical Esther - which should be a lot of fun! I'm singing in this Saturday's "Romance in the Air" concert with the NC Master Chorale Chamber Choir, and the conductor invited me to join for the next show, "Time Passages." I enthusiastically accepted- we're doing John Corigliano's "Fern Hill," as well as a recent composition by a man named Sametz (last name) called "in time of", which uses e. e. cummings' poem "In time of daffodils" as text. I thought it was amazing upon hearing it the first time.

I'm definitely keeping pretty busy these days- my "private studio" has increased to 3 students, and I have a fourth negotiating things in the wings, which would be quite plenty for my current commitments. It's great fun to work with each of them, and they're all completely different. I feel like I'm personally benefitting from working with them, and it's gratifying to hear their improvement even after just a short period of time.

I added a new blog over to the right- NC Opera's wordpress blog. Capital Opera of Raleigh and Opera Company of North Carolina are merging, to be officially completed in July, to form the new North Carolina Opera. I have high hopes for the new company, despite the worries of some local voices.

Lately I've been thinking about classical music and how to get more people exposed to quality live performance of good classical music... I feel like a small ensemble on the Streets at Southpoint Mall might be very effective- but it would perhaps be a very new endeavor.... It just seems like there's only one type of person who goes to the concert hall and pays for the expensive tickets. How better to expand the reach of good classical music than to bring the music, performed well and live, to where people already are?

It's a Metaphor!

2010-02-03T17:02:00.002-05:00

Regarding golf: "Just put the ball in the hole every damn time."

A thing I liked

2010-01-29T10:33:00.001-05:00

Eve wrote about me, and I liked this passage a lot. I'm not completely convinced it represents me the way I currently am... but perhaps it accurately represents the way I'd like to be. And it does, in truth, put some good words to my personal philosophy where I have personally had a hard time finding them.

"Caspian is content in his almost-atheism. I say atheism, but he doesn'tdisbelieve in the existence of a God; he simply doesn't feel a need to know. Whether there is or there isn't a God doesn't affect him. He is committed to life on this earth and helping its beings to live more fulfilling lives, here and now. He somehow doesn't mind the thought of nonexistence and doesn't feel a need to stock up on hail marys, good deeds or scripture verses. He finds just as much inspiration in the music and words and lives of people living and dead as in any book of faith. His love, goodwill and good deeds find their value through what they accomplish through him, either directly or indirectly as they change the way he thinks and acts, which in turn may affect the way others think and act. He is an instrument of benevolence and holds himself solely responsible for his thoughts and actions."

Furious.

2010-01-22T10:12:00.005-05:00

Alright, I know this blog is technically about music and all, and I know that I should try to remain nonpartisan on it, but I'm sorry- there are a few current issues that demand comment.

May I just say I am absolutely FURIOUS about three things in American Government today?

I may?? Joy of joys!

One: We overturned a republican majority and an archly conservative president. Our current president campaigned on hope for the future, changing the status quo, and opposition to many Bush policies.

And what has he done? Gays in the army? No. Withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan? No. Cessation of torture as a U.S. interrogative procedure? No. Closing of foreign detention facilities? No. Overturning of warrantless wiretapping allowances? No. Given lots of money to banks which were behaving incredibly irresponsibly? Yes. Given lots of money to car companies that were going under because they were being outmaneuvered in an international market? Yes.

Well balls.

Two: Those damn democrats. We elected them in droves to undo the excesses of the Bush era. Have they undone those excesses? No. 70% of the american population wants some form of governmental health care- and this is what REALLY burns me up- and then, at the FIRST SIGN of losing their supermajority (Scott Brown(R) winning Massachusetts- Ted Kennedy's seat), they turn tail, toss all their plans in the air, and whine "well we tried!" Screw that. At least the tea baggers have some backbone.

Three: And this one's the kicker. In Citizens United vs. The Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations, organizations, and interest groups have the same right to Free Speech as natural persons (i.e.- human citizens of the USA), SPECIFICALLY as that right to Free Speech pertains to making comment on candidates in governmental elections.

To boil it down, any corporation, organization, or interest group can put out any message it wants (still bound by libel and slander laws) about any candidate for any election in the entire country right now. And they can use as much money as they want to on said message. So if Walmart doesn't like your candidate, they can spend as much money they want running attack ads- or ads in support of the opposition.

Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen- the America we are living in today is fundamentally different from the America we were living in two days ago. Officials of the US Government are NO LONGER elected by the people- they are elected by corporations. And who's going to fix this disaster of governance?

Not the Republicans. Not the astroturf Teabaggers. And you know what? My faith in the Democrats has been declining dramatically these days.

Day of rest!

2010-01-21T15:17:00.002-05:00

At long last, a day where I don't have to rush off somewhere right after work. My weekly schedule these days is pretty intense- let's give it a look!

Sunday: 10-12: Church. 2-5: Probable Mikado rehearsal. Later Evening: Occasional lessons with John.

Monday: 10-6: Work. 7:30-9:30: Chamber Choir rehearsal. Later, 7-9:15: Possible Mikado rehearsal.

Tuesday: 10-6: Work. 7-9:15ish: Either Mikado rehearsal or hanging out with a good friend of mine.

Wednesday: 10-6: Work. 7:30-8:30: Church Choir.

Thursday: 10-6: Work. 7-9:15ish: Possible Mikado rehearsal.

Friday: 10-6: Work. 7-9:15ish: Possible Mikado Rehearsal.

Saturday: 11-2: Teaching Lessons!

Yes, that schedule looks pretty full.

Fortunately for me, I thoroughly enjoy all of these activities! Mikado is always a blast- the people are lots of fun, and the show itself is very entertaining. Lessons with John (like the one I had last night!- but we'll get to that later.) are 100% guaranteed to both make me feel better AND dramatically improve my singing. The Church Choir is a highly enjoyable group of people to work with regardless of who shows up, and every rehearsal is a new challenge and presents new successes in learning music. And, to top it all off, I now have two students who, while completely different from each other, are each a lot of fun to teach and to learn from- and teaching them the way I've been learning from John is already surprising me. I have never worked in another way, personally, which got quicker, better results; and as soon as I start my students on the exercises I've worked on with him, I can hear the same advancements occurring immediately. It's really very exciting!

So last night I had a lesson with John, just after church choir. We met at 8:40 or so and went until 10:30. I'll be honest, recently I've been frustrated again. Early in January I had incredible success with high notes, but the ability faded as the weather changed, leaving me frustrated. After all, if I could do it once, why would the ability leave after some period of time? Additionally, despite having two very strong auditions, one horrible one always lowers the spirits slightly.

Of course, as Eve knows all too well, if there is one aspect of my life to which my mood is intimately tied, it is my current ability in singing! If I'm singing poorly, I'm likely to be a big grump- but if I'm singing well... well, there's nothing that can get me down. And if there's one thing John excels at, it's getting me singing well.

We started out on the usual exercises, trying to match up the placement in my voice over some troublesome vowels and intervals. John stressed that most of my practice at home should be these same exercises, to train the qualities that we want to be ever present in my voice, and then we moved on to some music. Having JUST started working on The Mikado I suggested "A wand'ring minstrel I" first- and so we meticulously worked through the entire piece- all four sections of it. The results were wonderful, and I'm very excited to work on it on my own and cement the improvements we made. The high stuff rang out easier, the middle and lower stuff sounded more even, and the whole thing sounded (and felt!) like I was a completely different person. I mentioned a tough part in the later duet ("Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted"), and we skipped forward in the piece to work on it. Again, we evened out the whole song and managed to get my high A working very solidly.

I'll have to do plenty of work on my own to get everything working as well outside of my lessons as they were with John there to correct things as we went along, but on the whole I'm feeling VERY good about it. It's also exciting to be working with John so early in a show's production... in previous shows our schedules never lined up until the end of the show. I'm feeling very good about having him to help me build the right techniques into this new music as soon as I've gotten it.

Long story short, I'm feeling pretty good today.

Drosera Capensis!

2010-01-20T16:10:00.010-05:00

As Eve mentioned recently, I've recently started a NERD PROJECT!

Just in case I might have had too much free time on my hands, I thought I'd start growing some carnivorous plants from seed.

I've always had a fascination with carnivorous plants, but for some unfathomable reason I've never owned any! I guess I imagined they'd be hard to find, at some out of the way nursery, or would need to be ordered special online. I had certainly always heard that they were hard to take care of. Well, a few weeks ago, my curiosity got the better of me! I saw that Eve's mom has been "gifted" with a Venus' Fly Trap and Pitcher Plant of some variety- her other daughter, Lovely, had rescued them from their neglectful original owners. Well I couldn't just let Eve's mom have some carnivorous plants without me having some too! So I went to Thinkgeek.com and ordered the Carnivorous Creations plant kit. Just bask in the glory of that hilariously absurd image there. The kit actually has fairly poor reviews- "We waited weeks and nothing grew," "After three months there was just one little tiny thread-thin plant" etc etc. But I was determined not to be one of those people; so I did my research. Here's a sampling of information about Carnivorous Plants (popularly abbreviated "CPs"):

CPs grow in sunny wetlands or marshes. The soil of their native environment is always damp-to-wet, very alkaline (a PH of 3-4!), and nutrient poor, and they get a lot of light. With this in mind:

* Most CPs (with some variations based on species) like to grow best a blend of 50% Sphagnum Peat Moss to 50% Sand.

* CPs cannot be watered with tap water, unless your tap water is very pure! Most tap waters have plenty of minerals and additives included. Over time, the minerals in tap water will accumulate in your CP's soil- and since CPs like very nutrient-poor soil, the minerals will cause their roots to rot and the plants to die. The sources I've found recommend either "low sodium" bottled water or water purified by reverse-osmosis.

* Similarly, fertilizing your CPs should be your second-to-last concern- the last (unfortunately) being feeding them bugs! CPs don't need to be fertilized like other plants, and, if treated so, can easily die from too many nutrients. And really, only a healthy and happy plant needs bugs to truly thrive- so focus on your CPs other needs first and save the bugs for later.

* The soil of your CP can be allowed to fluctuate from damp to wet, but CPs like moist and humid environments.

* CPs need a lot of light- bright sun, for most of the day (with some variations, again, based on species).

* CPs grow from seed VERY SLOWLY! There's a lovely picture in the book I got (I'll get to that soon) of a 2-year old Venus' Fly Trap, just barely larger than the dime it's next to.

Having seen all this, I was perfectly willing to chalk up the poor reviews of the "from seed" kit to purchasers' poor understandings of the picky nature of carnivorous plants. Determined not to be disappointed due to lack of knowledge, I ordered Peter D'Amato's book "The Savage Garden," which was mentioned highly on several websites I found as an excellent resource for people interested in cultivation. It confirmed everything I'd read online, with extra information specifically related to just about every species of CP you could desire, and every CULTIVAR of every species.

I looked through the kit I'd received and was happy to find that the seeds I'd received included Dionaea Muscipula- Venus' Fly Trap, along with about 5 varieties each of Sarracenia (pitcher plant) and Drosera (sundew). The good thing about these three species is that they all have similar soil, water, light, heat, and humidity requirements! I happily refrigerated the pack of seeds which need dormancy, and made notes about the shape, size, and color of the seeds which I could plant immediately. I mixed up some sand and Sphagnum peat moss in what I thought was a 50-50 ratio, pressed 3 different colored thumb tacks into the soil to correspond with the 3 types of seed I was able to identify, and happily sewed the 20+ tiny seeds- one type around each thumbtack. I watered the whole arrangement with some distilled bottled water- I even got two big light reflectors and popped in a 100w 6500K compact fluorescent in each to get enough light on the terrarium. Now we wait!

There's no action yet, after a week and a half- my non-dormancy seeds should germinate within 1-2 months after planting, and my dormancy seeds, currently in the fridge, will come out of their isolation in 5 weeks or so and germinate about 6 weeks after that! I'll have to take some pictures once things start sprouting. I'm pretty excited- I have visions of a small terrarium to house my various ravenous beasties, and glazed ceramic pots to complement them once they're robust.

It's a fun hobby that takes some setup and perhaps more specific attention than standard herbs-and-vegetables type gardening, but still is something you mostly setup and then forget about except for checking on once a day! Hopefully all will go well and I'll have a happy cluster of Audrey III-XXIV!

Constructive Criticism

2010-01-19T14:28:00.003-05:00

So as I said, I got a chance to audition for the NC Symphony a week or so ago! I thought that I personally sang well, but carried out the act of auditioning rather poorly.

The guy I knew asked if I wanted some "insider feedback" on my audition, which of course I accepted. I'd already run through the encounter in my own head and identified what I thought I could have improved, but I welcomed his offer. After all, there's only one way to get better!

Without further ado, here's the feedback I received.

* When I arrived, I didn't have a list of the repertoire I was offering, which immediately set me on the wrong foot. I personally felt bad about it, which threw me a little bit, and I could tell that the conductor was a little put off by it.

The Lesson: In the future, I'll have to remember to draw up and print out a list of the repertoire I'm offering at any and all auditions.

* Because I didn't have my rep list, I had to announce the pieces I would do. When asked, I said I'd prepared "O Del mio Amato Ben," "Thou Shalt Break Them" from the Messiah, and "C'est ainsi que tu es," by Francis Poulenc. I said I'd start with "O del," and sang through it. After singing it, the conductor asked what it was from. Slightly confused, I replied "It's not from anything- it's an Art Song by Stefano Donaudy." Oops. The conductor replied that he was unfamiliar with it, to which I expressed my apologies and remarked that the composer and song itself had been very popular in my time at UNC. He replied that it was a lovely song, but he hadn't known it- Welsh schools must have a different lesson track.

The Lesson: Announce every piece as [Title], by [Composer]. No fanfare, no omissions- just a simple statement. That way the conductor can't think you're making assumptions about his or her knowledge of repertoire. Secondarily, if you omit something and someone expresses confusion, simply reply, "I'm so sorry- that was an oversight on my part. That was [Title], by [Composer]."

* After "O Del mio Amato Ben," I sang "Thou Shalt Break Them" from the Messiah, and "C'est ainsi que tu es" by Poulenc. After I was finished, the conductor asked why I'd chosen "Thou Shalt Break Them," instead of the more popular "Comfort Ye" or "Every Valley." I replied, jokingly- perhaps trying to break the mildly uncomfortable situation I was in- "Well Comfort Ye is hard!" Silence. Discomfort with situation increasing. A quick recovery: "Well- Thou Shalt Break them contrasts better with O Del mio Amato Ben than Comfort Ye or Every Valley." The second explanation was accepted and we continued.

A word about this: the question "Why did you choose X instead of Y" is a difficult and complex one for singers, and the answer always comes down to "Right now, in my voice, with my current repertoire offerings and preparation, Y presents more strongly than X." So why did I choose "Thou Shalt.." instead of "Comfort Ye/Every Valley"? Honestly, there are a number of answers, and "Comfort Ye is hard" does factor in, in a meaningful way. First, I got the invitation to the audition about 2.5 weeks before the audition itself, so I had to choose music I either had ready or could work to preparation in a very short amount of time. With that in mind, knowing that "Comfort Ye" was more difficult, I opted for a piece I could present better in the amount of time I had- thus, "Thou Shalt...." The logic is this: when given the choice between performing the big showpiece in a mediocre fashion, or doing well with a different, not as showy piece, always go for the piece you can do best. So I chose "Thou Shalt..." instead of "Comfort Ye."

The Lesson: Of course, even if relative difficulties and your own abilities DO factor into your repertoire selections, never let the hiring professionals know. "X contrasts with my other selections better than Y" is a safe answer- "I sing X better than Y" is not, even when delivered eloquently and professionally- and if it's not delivered in such a way, it's a horrible response.

Now onto the vocal critiques:

* The conductor enjoyed the Poulenc in my voice a lot- he thought I did very well with it.

* My phrasing was not very strong, for him, in either of the previous two offerings. I can understand this easily- "Thou shalt" came right after the awkward exchange about "O del," and the extra nerves made me take some extra breaths I wasn't happy about. I thought I'd dealt with them well, but when you're a conductor who's run 40+ "Messiahs," you notice. The implication that my phrasing hadn't been strong in "O del" was surprising to me, however- I didn't notice anything strange in that offering, and I've worked on it a lot. Clearly, though, there must be something a little stilted in the way I offer the piece- I'll have to work through it and see what I can do to naturalize it some.

* Vocally, at this point in my development, the conductor probably wouldn't hire me (all other errors aside)- He wasn't left feeling confident that I would be heard over an orchestra.

Ultimately, all things taken together, the conductor was left with the impression that I was either VERY arrogant (that word again! it's an infuriatingly common complaint about my personality from people who don't know me, and I have a hard time figuring out why!) or VERY nervous- neither of which are good qualities in a candidate. The conductor will always want to work with someone whom he or she feels can tackle the entire task calmly, and with a collegiate nature.

So there's the rundown! Not the most flattering critique I've ever received, but I would in no way at all call it unfair. Pretty much every point was expected- the features of the audition he pointed out were the same as the ones I mentally critiqued within 5 minutes of leaving the audition.

I guess I'd say that almost all of my problems came back to not being completely prepared for the audition, in a paperwork-kind of way. I copied-and-taped my music for the accompanist, I updated and printed my resume, I downloaded and printed a headshot- but forgetting (or rather, not realizing I needed) a rep list really got things off to a bad start. In addition to adding to my nerves, it set up additional situations which further reduced my esteem in the eyes of the panel.

And that's the story of my first audition for a professional orchestra! But that's the point- it was the first, and because of it, my second will go much better.

One Week of Blog?

2010-01-18T16:49:00.002-05:00

So I thought I might try to do one update every day, from today through Sunday. Just to see what it's like to do such a crazy thing.

Today's thoughts have to do with Part Two! I was going to write another hugelong post about my recent activities as a musician, but I might condense it some so I can get it all out here and now.

Let's talk about some recent audition history!

I tried out for The Mikado with the Durham Savoyards and was cast in my desired role of Nanki-Poo. My initial audition wasn't as strong as I'd like- I forgot my Audition Form, and I wasn't in top performance for the song itself. I filled out an extra form after the audition and handed it in. Fortunately the directors and producers for the Durham Savoyards are more forgiving than I am of my own mistakes, and regarded me kindly enough to invite me to callbacks.

A word about auditioning for this crew- it's always very enjoyable. They give you specific selections they'd like to hear ahead of time, so you come in knowing you're singing what they want to hear. Then they let you use music, which allows you to relax a little bit- and finally they're all such friendly faces. They're a warm group of people who really want to see everyone before them do as best as they each can- and that attitude bleeds through into the atmosphere of the audition itself.

I went to callbacks, excited, as always. It's always a surprise to see who's there and what they're like- and this time was no disappointment! I could picture everyone there in the role they most desired, and I'm certain the decision was very tough. Callbacks finished after an hour-and-a-half of singing, acting, and various entertaining pairings, and then we all went home to await phone calls. The final choices were made and we all got together two days later for a very interesting and entertaining first sing-through!

And that kicked off a week of intense Savoyards rehearsals.

On top of that, I had the privilege of auditioning for the NC Symphony! It was a good experience, certainly. I enjoyed choosing my music, practicing it up, copying it and arranging it for the accompanist, and I loved meeting everyone involved. Unfortunately it seemed like communication between myself and the Musical Director of the Symphony was not at its best- I had forgotten to make a listing of my musical offerings, and had to state them for the panel, among other minor ways in which we didn't seem to "click," interpersonally. I was a tad nervous (of course) and so had to breathe in a few extra places than I originally liked to, but all in all I thought I sounded well- and at this stage in my development that's all I was really looking for. I'm actually going to get some feedback on the audition tomorrow- perhaps I'll talk about it then. So: Singing went well, but the act of AUDITIONING could have come off stronger. Maybe. I'll muse more on the issue tomorrow.

Finally, I also had the wonderful opportunity to audition for a new musical being produced in the Raleigh area- by a really excellent team! The audition was very fun- I showed up, filled out a form (man, missing those forms really seems to be my thing these days! You can bet I won't forget a single piece of paperwork from here till ETERNITY after this), sang an excerpt from "Heaven on their Minds" (from Jesus Christ Superstar), and delivered a monologue from "Cyrano De Bergerac." It all went very well, and the audition panel was very receptive. I was given a scene to read (between the two romantic leads, I believe), and, after working on it, delivered it with the producer reading the female role. They seemed appreciative and invited me to return at 4:00 for a callback!

And what a callback it was! I sang part of a duet under the instruction of the musical director, which went well (aside from some minor illness on my part). He asked me to sing it less operatically and I did my best to oblige. I really enjoyed the music- it was really quite nice, maybe even surprisingly so- I'm not usually a fan of musicals, especially modern ones. Then we all headed to the room next door for a movement/dance callback. The two dancers instructing us all were very neat people, and I did my best to keep up despite my overwhelming predominance of WHBY-37, the "White Boy Gene". It was fun and very different from what I usually do, so it was a blast to try it out- even when it took me a couple of attempts to figure it out. The male dance lead gave me some pointers which helped a lot. Soon enough the women were asked to stick around for some bellydancing, and I was let go- but not before being asked to return for a second callback in a few weeks! I also learned that our current "Yum-Yum" in The Mikado was called back as well, a situation which amuses the both of us greatly. I'm reserving hope, as I don't believe in it when it comes to auditions- but I could see myself having a lot of fun with this show.

On top of my flurry of auditions and rehearsals, I'm in the North Carolina Master Chorale's Chamber Choir, a fantastic group that I always love singing with. We had our first rehearsal last week, and tonight makes our second. The music is challenging, but the members are such strong musicians that we can all rely on each other to put it together.

Finally, last but never least, I've taken on two students and meet with both of them on Saturdays. They're both very different, but it's a lot of fun to put my training to use in helping them explore and grow their voices- and sometimes surprising just how quickly what I ask them to do gets results!

I'm having a real blast being so musically active. My only small regret is that I'm very busy- so I don't get much time with my brand new wife. But I won't be busy all the time, and I did get a nice week-long "staycation" honeymoon with her. And later this year- perhaps a real honeymoon to distant and foreign lands!

Part One!

2010-01-12T10:20:00.004-05:00

So I've had a very busy.... couple of months, I guess!

First I prepared to get married, which took plenty of time and planning. Then I got married! We all met, the day before the wedding, in the Meymandi Theatre at the Murphy School, Burning Coal Theatre's performance space. We had rented it for our wedding! We mopped floors, swept up, helped our lighting technician (Mark Peelman- an excellent lighting technician who went above and beyond the call of duty) set up his lights, put up some christmas trees, stressed out about extension cords, found some extension cords in the back, hooked up christmas lights, hung boughs from the balconies, hung wreaths from the wall, and set up chairs.

I departed early to secure gifts for the grooms-and-brides-dudes, and settled on a very fine single malt whiskey glass.

Then we all headed home and gussied up for our rehearsal dinner. It was a blast! I got to see all of my (and Eve's) good friends, including some from very distant corners of the country. All our distant relatives were there too- and there was plenty of liquor to go around. We all had good times- and then my parents announced that there would be an entertainment portion to the evening! First one of my best friends from college got up and sang the first verse of "Amorosi miei giorni," a lovely art song by Stefano Donaudy. This girl's voice is one of my favorite- she always sounds fantastic- so it was great to get to hear her sing. Then my parents and two of their/my friends (older- in their 30's) hopped up, announcing the return of "The Ebenezers."

The story runs something like this- forever ago, when we were all in the choir together and none of us was conducting the others, we sang a song in church with a line that went "here I raise my Ebenezer." The Ebenezer was a rock that Samuel raised after a victory over the Philistines- but nevertheless, my parents (and the two friends in question) found the concept of "raising" one's "ebenezer" VERY amusing and decided that, whenever they sang as a quartet, it would be under the name "The Ebenezers."

So first they got up and sang a beautiful rendition of "O Eyes of my Beloved," by Orlando Di Lasso- a wonderful 16th century madrigal. Then they clicked something on the computer and set into a re-written rendition of "Hooked on a Feeling," by the brilliant 20th century composers of Blue Suede. The lyrics (which, for moderate intoxication I don't completely recall) had something to do with Eve being in love with me. It was highly amusing, and then got even more amusing- as the computer started chugging, slowing the song down by a third! The whole thing fell apart, but everyone at the dinner loved it even more so.

It was a wonderful evening which was over too soon- but we had a rehearsal to get to at 8:00 am the next day!

The rehearsal came EARLY. Many of us were in pajamas, as intended- but some of us actually got up, showered, and nicely dressed! The rehearsal went fairly smoothly. We all figured out where we'd stand, how we'd get there, and in what order. And then we all went off to our various preparations! Eve headed straight to the hotel to be all bridal. I hear they got coffee, she napped, and then they got her all prettied up to return to the theater.

In the meantime, I returned to our apartment, took a shower, got myself marginally attractive looking, then left, tuxedo in tow, to check into our King Suite at the hotel. The room was very nice- two rooms together, really- with a large tub with jets, and a huge shower with two heads, each of which had two smaller nozzles at about chest height! It was in the center of the Renaissance Hotel, and the balcony spanned the bowed center of the building, looking out over the main drag of North Hills Mall- really a very nice view. The hotel was very fancy... the mirrors in all of the rooms had TVs in them that could be turned on to shine out from the surface of the mirror. TOTALLY EXCESSIVE and yet totally awesome.

Finally the hour came- I washed my face, shaved neatly, and donned my nice tuxedo. I was wearing an ivory vest and bowtie, paisley both, and the other guys were wearing a black vest and bowtie. It looked very nice, formal, and classy. Eve originally had a very tough time with the whole "bowtie" concept, but I insisted- for high formal events, there is nothing classier than a bowtie. I'm happy to report that she came around in the end, admitting we all looked VERY nice.

I got to the theater, chilled with my dudes-and-dudette (I had a groomsgirl in my wedding party, and nieta had a bridesman- we're forward thinking like that), and waited eagerly for my beautiful bride to show up. Eventually I was instructed to stand with my back turned, as the guys joked- "Oh god! What happened to her legs! You'll still marry her, right Steven?" After an eternity (no, it didn't just seem like it- it really was one. In fact, I'm still standing there now), I turned around to find my lovely bride standing before me! She had on a gorgeous, elegant, classy and simple ivory gown, and looked stunning. It had the same one-shoulder style as her bridesmaids' (and my groomsmaid's) dresses. We hugged, and shortly disappeared upstairs to await the arrival of all the guests in the space itself.

The rest of the wedding is pretty much history- it was a lovely ceremony. Both her mom and my mom read excerpts for us, and both of them stood in a different place from the rehearsal that morning. We exchanged vows, and placed rings on each other's fingers. I made sure to dip her for our kiss, but not drop her. That would have been bad. One of her bridesmaids, RH, described it as the most passionate wedding kiss she'd ever seen. And then we were married! We processed out and stood in a receiving line as all our friends and relatives came out to greet us. Our dads signed our marriage certificate as our two witnesses, and then everyone was off to Coquette at North Hills for a fabulous reception!

There were two small hiccups at Coquette... the first being that we hadn't confirmed that we wanted a specific table arrangement, so they'd changed it to accompany our slightly-smaller-than-expected party. Eve's sister had to scramble to put people where she thought they might go best, but I think it worked out pretty well for most. Second, when it came time to serve cake, Eve and I cut our first slice and then they took it back in the kitchen to cut the rest- but they cut each (tall!) slice in half! This is important because, of the 3 layers, between the bottom and middle was raspberry filling, and between the middle and top was chocolate. They were intended to be together, not separate! The mistake was pointed out, however, and they did their best to fix it up for us.

The evening was very nice- we enjoyed three delicious courses, a champagne toast, and a fantastic wedding cake (chocolate with chocolate frosting and chocolate and raspberry fillings). My dad got our table a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white wine, which we all appreciated thoroughly, and a few wonderful toasts were made. We had a mix of music playing the whole evening, which was more atmospheric than anything. Conversation was loud, and the music was low, but that was intended- as such, we occasionally made a game of trying to figure out what was playing.

Finally the evening was over and we retired back to our hotel. We were both incredibly pooped, so we had a nice, relaxing night.

And after all that is when things REALLY got busy! But that's a tale for another post, my friends.

Nanki-Poo!

2010-01-07T10:26:00.003-05:00

So I've been cast as Nanki-Poo in the Durham Savoyards March production of The Mikado! I'll freely admit, I was by no means certain I'd make it. The competition was perhaps not as BROAD for Nanki-Poo as for other roles (5 people called back for Yum-Yum, though some of those were also called back for others as well), but it was definitely some steep competition indeed. I was a little nervous- there was some high-A stuff in the callback selections we were asked to sing in ensembles. Imagine my relative surprise and relief when my recent successes with high-voice work were reproduced in the callbacks!

The voice is an interesting thing... I feel very lucky in my work with the Durham Savoyards so far. In 2008 I was in Yeomen of the Guard as Colonel Fairfax, a very enjoyable role. The music was more operatic than many of G&S's stuff, but the role I played was more of a high baritone role than a true tenor role. And, at that time, that was perfect for my voice! One year later, in The Gondoliers, I had the joy of singing Marco Palmiere, the tenor Gondolier. Noticeably higher both in range and tessitura than Fairfax, but still a lower tenor role, the music of this character was mostly comfortable in my range while challenging me to address a few isolated high points. Now, in 2010, The Mikado comes along, and I can freely admit that if the auditions had been 4 weeks earlier, I don't think I would have been cast! Nanki-Poo cannot be called anything other than a tenor role- the tessitura is unforgivingly tenor, and the role is scattered with high A's both in solo and ensemble work- and a few of them could probably be interpreted upwards.

It interests me how these three shows came along, each of them offering me the perfect opportunity for my voice at that point in my development. If they were reversed, I would still have been capable (my development remaining the same) of participating in Gondoliers and Yeomen, but the "progression," of sorts, wouldn't have felt nearly as natural... I'd be growing into true tenordom and singing a lyric baritone role!

It's also interesting to me how my own voice is developing... for years I've been struggling and working my butt off with little to show for it where range increases are concerned. In fact, I've even frequently wondered whether I wasn't actually a baritone. And then, all of a sudden, I wake up one morning and sing a high A with few problems. Not wanting to get to excited I play it off as a fluke- and yet, high stuff continues working for me over the next few weeks. I will definitely keep working it to improve it, smooth it out, and reduce my tendency to slip into "old" technique, but it's starting to look (STARTING, mind you) that I might keep this for a good little while. And it couldn't have come at a better time!

It's going to be a very musical spring!

Allow me, also, to offer my congratulations to everyone else who was cast in the show- I can't wait to work with all of you. And to everyone who was called back- I honestly could see every single person in that room singing and acting the role they were called back for. You all have incredible talent and skill and will certainly do well in future endeavors. I look forward to seeing many of you in the show as well! And of course it will be a blast to see all the chorus members of the Durham Savoyards once again.

First rehearsal tonight!

Audition Season!

2010-01-04T16:05:00.002-05:00

... Sort of!

Here's a rundown of what's coming up, musically, for me! What do you guys have going on? I'd love to hear about it!

This past Saturday: Auditions for The Mikado, with the Durham Savoyards. I was auditioning for Nanki-Poo, and while I'm not personally as pleased with my audition as I could have been I think I sounded pretty decent overall. Curse those scalar ascents to high-G's! I had ironed out the section in mind in my practice, but my errors crept back in for the actual performance. What does that mean, kids? You didn't practice enough, uncle steven! Right, kids. Callbacks are Tuesday... I haven't heard anything yet, but, as Auditions continue this evening, I shall remain hopeful. I've always had a fun time with the Savoyards in the past, even if their rehearsal schedule is hellish.* ;)

Tuesday: (Assuming things went well Saturday): Callbacks for the Mikado! I'm being optimistic here.

Friday: Singing for the NC Symphony. I'll probably do some Handel and an art song or two, so they can hear my voice. I have no idea what to expect, but I'm quite excited simply at the opportunity.

Saturday Morning: My first(ish) voice lesson! It should be very fun, interesting, and informative on all parts. I say "ish" because I've offered other people some instruction at various points in my life, including one recent lesson to a college colleague! This one's the first, though, because (after our first, which is free) I'll get PAID! How exciting.

Saturday Afternoon: Auditions for Esther. It looks interesting, though as Ye Olde Classicallye Trainede Straighte White Male I'm not entirely certain I fit their idea of who they want in lead roles. But then again I have no IDEA what their ideas are on the subject! Time to dust off some musical theater rep (probably Jesus Christ Superstar) and study a monologue. If nothing else it will give me an excuse to sing something fun and different, and work on my acting some. I also love Al Sturgis, the musical director, and it would be fantastic to get to work with him in another capacity beyond choral singing. Secondarily, another wonderful-person-and-friend-of-mine from the Savoyards is helping produce the show!

After the battery of auditions I will be looking forward to joining the NC Master Chorale's affiliated Chamber Choir for their "Romance in the Air" concert on Valentine's Day. Rehearsals don't start until later in January, but it's such an enjoyable group to make music with- and again, under the venerable baton of Maestro Sturgis.

* Oh yes it is! But don't worry, I love you guys. ^_^

Success!

2010-01-03T13:01:00.003-05:00

I did something today that I've been waiting YEARS to do:

I sang a brilliant, nice, supported, ringy, full-voice A natural (above the staff). Okay, technically I sang an octave run from a low A to a high A, but then I held the high A forever! It felt almost completely effortless. Could it be that, at long last, my tenor notes are incoming to supplement my tenor timbre?

I am very, very excited. And honestly, I can't point to any one thing that's causing it... could it be my work with breath support is kicking in to help those higher notes? Maybe my work matching placement throughout an entire phrase is putting them in the right spot. It feels like my vocal cords are adjusting to use less of the muscular portion, letting my higher notes ring more on the edges instead. Perhaps all my reading and research is having an effect- or maybe my work training my larynx to relax lower while singing is helping me.

But honestly, my biggest theory is-

Over the past two weeks (since before the wedding) I've had a cold which has had me coughing a lot. Coughing irritates and weakens your vocal cords. My strongest theory is that my weakened cords just CANNOT sing if I'm singing incorrectly. And so, to get ANY sound out, I have to be doing it correctly- and when I'm doing it all correctly, high stuff turns out to actually not be that hard at all!

Excitedexcitedexcited!

SWEET!

2009-12-30T14:59:00.003-05:00

So I figured something really cool out.

I have perhaps a tendency to use too much of my "external" lips when shaping my vowels. But if I relax the majority of my lips and then make vowels mostly with the inner ring of my lips (the part that touches my teeth), the vowel is MUCH more pure, bright, and pingy. Additionally, I can make both very clean [o]'s AND [u]'s this way- they each sound like their intentional vowel! I have to practice this a lot- it sounds fantastic when I get it right, I just need to cement it as the new RIGHT way of doing things.

Also I was singing through Un aura amorosa after this on an [o] vowel and got some really neat stuff working- sounds like (bite your tongue!) my high notes are starting to think about working for me! Very exciting. I'll have to keep practicing my breathing and my new vowel shapes the way I have been!

Oh yeah- also, I'm married now. ^_^

More Notes...

2009-12-22T10:54:00.002-05:00

Exercise: Start an [o] and hold until vibrato settles into an even pattern. Move up, sliding slowly by half steps until you've covered a fifth up. Breathe, relax, and then repeat, starting on the top pitch and sliding down slowly by half steps until you've reached the bottom note.

Goals: * Keep vibrato even through the whole exercise. * Start with a pure, round, forward [o] vowel, and maintain it through the whole slide. * End on the same vowel that you started on.

Results: Sometimes I don't even start on an [o], but an ["uh"] or ["aw"]. That shoots me in the foot right there! However, when I DO start on a pure [o] vowel, I frequently lose the pureness of the vowel about halfway through! Conclusion? I am changing something that I should not be changing, as I move up and down pitches!

How to fix: Perform same exercise as above, starting on intervals of a minor 2nd. If the exercises are successful (even vibrato, pure, recognizable vowel through the whole exercise), then increase the scope of the exercise by a half step. Repeat until covering a 5th, 8va, etc.

Second Exercise: Start an [o] and hold until vibrato settles into an even pattern. Move up, sliding slowly by half steps until you've covered a minor second up (one half step). Breathe, relax, and then repeat, starting on the top pitch and sliding down slowly by half steps until you've reached the bottom note.

Goals: * Keep vibrato even through the whole exercise. * Start with a pure, round, forward [o] vowel, and maintain it through the whole slide. * End on the same vowel that you started on.

Results: Mixed. I frequently END on the same [o] that I started with, but the [o] through the transition (in the middle) is often just slightly different. I also notice that, especially as I start to ascend, there's frequently a blip in my vibrato, signalling that I'm doing something extra right as I start to change pitch. Going down I don't have this blip, but my vowel is not as solid going down as up! Also of note, if I go quickly without sliding, and "hop" to the next pitch, that practically guarantees a change in my vowel. The sliding is crucial- I HAVE to go slowly on this exercise.

Note: About 3/4 of the way through I reminded myself that I wanted to bring in some of that "rich, warm baritone sound"- the next exercise was VERY successful, with a clear vowel all the way through, and an even vibrato! I'll have to work more with bringing this sound into my voice.

Comparison of relaxed [o] versus focused [o]- the [u] after the relaxed [o] was much more pure and correct- better placed, better vowel, etc. However, the vowels in the other direction along the spectrum were not as good as after the focused [o]. Maybe what I'm seeing here is that [u] needs to be more relaxed than I'm making it, while the rest of the vowel spectrum I've got alright- perhaps out until [E], which could also relax some. Very interesting- I'll have to give it a try.

Ultimately I'm just not thoroughly convinced of which [o] is correct- the tight focused one or the more relaxed one. I will have to do a lot of recording, comparing, and experimenting to determine which I really think is the most forward, pingiest sound and also the most accurate, sustainable, pure vowel.

And that's the end of my practicing today!

Note to self:

2009-12-21T15:08:00.000-05:00

* The same sequence of vowels sounds and feels different, in your throat, and is more or less effective depending on where you are on the scale. Why is that? It should be the same at each pitch along the scale.

To fix: take a good vowel ([o] or [i], maybe) and work it slowly up and down the staff, covering 5ths in slow half steps, matching the vowel and sensation at the start and end of the exercise. Start low and move high, start high and move low.

Some notes

2009-12-20T13:43:00.002-05:00

So I've been very good lately (Santa, I hope you're taking note)! I practiced for an hour today, an hour yesterday, and an hour the day before. I intend greatly to keep it up- and my two-week vacation can only help my resolve! It's tough to practice for an hour when you get out of work at 6, to get home by 6:40ish.

For now, some notes! Definitely some frustrations and some general plateaus I need to work on through.

* [o]-[u]-[o] - I am still changing too much on my transition to the [u] vowel. I lose some of the richness of the harmonic overtones when I make the transition, and the ending [o] vowel is never the same as the beginning one. WHY?

* Seems like [u] keeps more of [o]'s richness when I really pay attention to my breath during the transition between the two. I'll have to do this more. However, the [o] vowel is still different at the end than it was at the start. I think I'm moving too much to get back to the [o] from the [u].

* Did a bunch of multi-vowel transitions: [o]-["uh"]-["aw"]-[a]-[E]-[e]-[i]-[y]. The vowels were not terribly distinct- I'll have to work on that. Again I noticed the "flatness" of sound that Eve pointed out earlier, but, in a potential breaking of the clouds, so to speak, if I focus on lower breath and higher placement and let my throat just relax (while watching my larynx in the mirror) the sound is much richer and less flat. Perhaps the "flatness" is simply from muscling with my throat too much! Again it's clear how much I need to work on breath, breathing, and proper support.

Excitement!

2009-12-19T11:36:00.004-05:00

So I'm getting married in 9 days, and that's pretty exciting. Gotta get some friends together for a night on the town, gotta have some fancy drinks and fancy barbecue, gotta get married to a gorgeous young lady.

BUT ALSO! I got an email inviting me to sing for Grant Llewellyn, the musical director of the NC Symphony in a general casting audition. A few pieces, variety is good, he'll probably want to hear something originally scored for orchestra and voice! Of course, most of what's originally scored for orchestra and voice is more seriously divided in Fach, which tends to make it harder for me- but I'm certain I can find something that suits my voice well.

Which means it's seriously time to dust off those pipes! I figure there's a couple of things I need to work on, on a daily basis:

* Last we met, John commented that my [o] vowel was working really well for me, as was my [i] vowel. My [u] vowel, which rests right next to [o] on the vowel spectrum, was not as good as my [o]! So I need to do some work ironing out the transition between [o] and [u], making sure that the richness of my sound does not diminish when traveling between the two.

* Along the same lines, John had me do some exercises running through the whole vowel spectrum, starting with [o]: [o]-["uh"]-["aw"]-[a]-[E]-[e]-[i]-[y]. I seemed to have fairly decent success with this, but he pointed out that I should do this every day- it's an exercise, says he, that my subconscious needs. Very well!

* I'm just not happy with my breath support. Never have been, still am not. That means lots of breathing exercises: inhale- pause- hiss out- pause- repeat. five sniffs through nose, five inhalations through mouth- pause- hiss- pause- repeat.

* I would like to be more settled "in my body" when singing. I need to get my energy lower- which means lots of moving while singing. Lots of rotating shoulders and arms, shaking out wrists and hands, balancing on one leg and the other leg, squats, bending over at the waist and rolling up, rotating and relaxing neck, twisting torso from side to side, etc. I was doing some of this last night, and it really did serve to relax all the little muscles that like to feel a tad jittery while I sing.

* Last night while singing, Eve commented that my voice had a flatness to it- not in pitch, but in timbre. I don't know why! Some pitches and vowels sounded very nice, but she's right- most of it had a sort of static "held" quality. I have to use the pitches and vowels that are working right (relaxed, open, round, free, placed) and use them to relax and enrich the parts of my voice that aren't. Perhaps I'm singing too loudly, or pushing too hard? I will have to experiment with extreme dynamics! Maybe even add a few mezzovoce's to my warmups.

* Finally, I'd really like to get my larynx relaxing lower while I sing. I've done some work with this, but feel like I could definitely stand to do more. The only way to accomplish this is to take small figures (1-2-1, for example) and move through them slowly, while paying attention to what my larynx is doing through the course of the singing. If it starts moving up, start over and do the figure slower.

* Final note: if ever something is not working quite right, just DO IT PAINFULLY SLOW. This seems to help iron a lot of stuff out... could be that some of my current problems are from trying to do things too fast! Just relax and slow it down.

This is a very exciting opportunity, and from what I've heard about Grant he'll be listening with an ear to a significant amount of time in the future. I would really love to be able to showcase my voice at its very best for him. Let's see where we can get in three weeks!

Rebuttal

2009-12-15T15:04:00.002-05:00

We've thought of a name for my wife-to-be! We'll call her Eve.

Eve posted a post about herself, which she thought was positive! Feeling it was decidedly lukewarm at best, I figured I would one-up her.

You don't censor yourself! We joke about poo and make silly noises when we're driving in the car- even if you sometimes poke me in the ear. No, IN the ear. You can be... very energetic, sometimes- but you also just like hanging around the apartment and chilling, and you don't ever mind if I want a quiet night in to play video games, read, and watch TV.

You are the most beautiful woman on the planet! I never understand when you're unhappy with your beauty... you are so curvaceous and beautifully proportioned and yet for some crazy reason all you want to be is flagpole thin! You're not vain- but you do care about how you look. You are always smart, you just sometimes choose to ignore it... which can be very amusing. So you're an introvert- so what? There's nothing wrong with that, and maybe we could all work on making more/better/deeper friends. Performing in front of other people is a skill just like playing the right keys- you only get better at it by doing it! And at least you're trying!

Your knees are in your pants and your scars are superficial- you should see my dad's sometime! Your hips are nice, and nobody's looking at your shoulders. If you're top-heavy it's because you try to keep your body thinner than it naturally wants to be. You're beautiful, but you would also be gorgeous if you let your body be the size it wants. To comment that your body is flawed is itself pretty flawed- what is flawless? Is it photoshopped magazine images? We all have things we wouldn't mind seeing changed, but those things don't matter!

You and me both, and everyone else too. ;)

You should like yourself- there's a lot to like! I don't think you're vapid or amoral or thoughtless or fake- I wouldn't stand for it in my significant other! I think you can be a sexpot when you want (quite easily!), and an extrovert when you want, and sometimes you want to take risks, but I don't think there's anything inherently better about those things than about being the way you usually are.

I think lots and lots of nice things about you. :)

Lessons lessons lessons!

2009-12-02T10:18:00.003-05:00

I've had a really solid pair of lessons in the past two weeks- one last night, and one two Tuesdays ago. My general sense of them runs something like this:

* I feel like there are parts of my voice that are approaching a professional quality, but only certain pitches on certain vowels. Other pitches with the same vowels, and other vowels on the same pitches don't work! John and I have identified a few of these places that "work" and a few of these places that "don't"- now what I need to do is compare them constantly and strive to make them more the same.

* The work I'm doing on my own with breath is definitely slotting in well with the work John and I do on placement. Having a very strong concept both of the placement I need and the low breath connection I need at the VERY START of a phrase is incredibly helpful for the quality of the phrase, and (I think) actually helps me be more placed!

It seems like my independent work is definitely yielding good results, but I also need to rededicate myself to the stuff that John prefers. I'm very excited about the spots where things start working really well, I just need to do the meticulous, daily work of comparing the spots that work and the spots that don't, and figuring out how to match them for all vowels and pitches.

Sounds like fun!

Your Advice?

2009-11-30T10:53:00.002-05:00

Hello musically minded friends! I'd love to hear from you all. Feel free to leave a comment either on facebook or on my blog!

Here's the deal- I'm thinking about taking on a few voice students! I haven't really put myself out there yet, and seeing as how I'm busy with a wedding and all, I won't be starting with students until January at the earliest. But in the meantime, I wanted to throw out my ideas about lessons to you all for some feedback, so I can start getting my mind in order. So let me tell you my thoughts on the process, and I would love to hear from you what you think of my ideas!

What is it I'd be teaching, again? Voice lessons! All told, I've been studying voice for 8 years, since 2001. I've got a Bachelor's of Music from UNC Chapel Hill in 2007, where I studied with soprano Barbara Peters (current Executive Director of the Greensboro Opera Company) for the majority of my career. I've been studying steadily with tenor John Daniecki for the past two years since graduation, and I've also worked with a number of teachers in the Raleigh/Durham/Greensboro area. Recently I took a trip to the northeast and worked or spoke with a number of people at a number of schools including Juilliard, Yale, and the New England Conservatory. The human voice is one of my greatest passions, and I'm constantly reading, learning, trying new things, and singing with various groups in the triangle area.

How many students am I thinking? Starting out, probably a small number. 2-4 ideally, and probably no more than 5. This is just due to the reality of my time split between my day job and my church conducting job.

Who do I think would be a good student for me? Beginning students of any age, teens to adults, especially those interested in classical singing. I do think there's a certain amount of physical development necessary to begin rigorous study of classical singing, which probably averages out in the mid-teens (14-16), but I'd love to teach students younger than this a pre-voice musical education including sight-singing, basic music theory, rhythm, etc. The decision of who is physically ready for voice study would probably be made on an individual basis between myself and the student.

What kind of lesson scheduling am I planning to offer? For the serious beginner, one hour-long lesson per week, at the same time and day each week, to be determined by myself and the student. For younger pre-voice students studying sight-singing, theory, etc, probably a weekly half-hour lesson.

How much am I thinking about charging? I've always thought lessons were pretty darned expensive. As I've got a Bachelor's of Music but only a Bachelor's, here are my current thoughts:

1-hour voice lessons:

* Lessons paid for by the week (1 week/1 lesson at a time): $40/lesson ($40 at a time, $160/month).

* Lessons paid for by the month (1 month/ 4 lessons at a time): $30/lesson ($120 at a time, $120/month).

* Lessons paid for by the quarter (3 months/ 12 lessons at a time): $25/lesson ($300 at a time, $100/month).

1/2-hour, pre-voice lessons:

* Lessons paid for by the week (1 week/1 lesson at a time): $25/lesson ($25 at a time, $100/month).

* Lessons paid for by the month (1 month/ 4 lessons at a time): $20/lesson ($80 at a time, $80/month).

* Lessons paid for by the quarter (3 months/ 12 lessons at a time): $15/lesson ($180 at a time, $60/month).

Would there be a contract? How would I handle missed lessons? As most lessons are paid for in groups in advance, there would be a short contract outlining my expectations of the student and the price of instruction. In the event of a missed lesson, I would work individually with the student to schedule a makeup lesson at no extra charge- if you paid for four lessons in a month, you will receive four lessons, even if you or I have to miss our regular lesson time.

What kind of singing do I want to teach? I believe that the style of singing which is most interesting to the student and healthiest for the human voice is also the style which enables the voice to operate at the highest levels of excellence while unamplified and unmodified. I believe that this healthy approach to true acoustic singing can be applied properly, with only a few small changes, to any number of musical styles. I would support students singing repertoire in any style so long as it is appropriate for their voice type and vocal development.

Where would I be teaching? In the sanctuary of Umstead Park United Church of Christ, where I am the choir conductor. It's a very nice, open room with plenty of windows for natural light, and allows use of either a piano or a keyboard. It also has a great sound system for listening to pieces or playing recorded accompaniment.

When would I be teaching? Probably mostly on the weekends- Saturdays, or Sunday afternoons. Evenings might also be possible, but more difficult due to how late I get out of my day job.

What about group classes or recitals? While it may take a little while to get such a program set up, I would love to offer monthly "studio" classes, where all of my students can get together and sing for each other. In addition to monthly studios, I'd love to offer my students the opportunity to perform for friends and family in a recital once every quarter (every 3 months). These events would probably take place in the sanctuary of UPUCC, the same location as our lessons. If possible, and I think it very well may be, I'd love to be able to record our recitals for our students!

What about accompanists? For studio classes and recitals, we will probably employ an accompanist to play for students. The cost of the accompanist's time will be split between the students working with him or her- this is in addition to the student's regular cost of voice lessons. If you know an accompanist or would like to have one at a lesson, this can probably be arranged- but again, the cost is in addition to the regular cost of voice lessons.

I think that about covers it! So tell me, musically and administratively minded people- did I miss any questions? Do my answers to questions seem to make sense? Does everything seem reasonable? Do you have any proposed additions or changes you think I should hear about?

If there are any potential students out there- does this all seem fair to you? What doesn't make sense, or what would seem more appropriate?

Many many thanks! I hope to hear from many of you, even if all you say is "looks hot, Steven, where can I sign up?"

Drive Safe!

2009-11-23T10:16:00.002-05:00

Drive safe, guys.

I live in one town, in North Carolina, and I work in the next town over. It's pretty close, and takes me 20ish minutes to get to work in the morning, and 30-40ish to get home at night because of traffic.

Well... because of traffic and accidents. The trip is along a big freeway that serves as the only major connection for the two cities. It's a trip I make 10 times a week, and on average I'd say I pass at least 4 accidents per week, most of those involving multiple cars. That's counting accidents I see on my side of the highway and on the other side, but most of those accidents are in the evening. Out of 5 evening trips home, I see 4 accidents- not always 1 per night, but still. That's approximately an 80% chance, each evening, to see an accident. Now, granted, the chance of actually being one of the thousands of cars on the road which is involved in the accident is slim- but it's still pretty damn high. Honestly, it's making me think there's a problem either with the way we educate our drivers, with the way we continue our drivers' education, or with the highway system and car-centric transportation systems of America.

The story I most like to tell is about World of Warcraft. I play World of Warcraft, and let me tell you- there are some dumb people there. It's just a video-game- simple things like "don't stand in the fire" and "get out of the explosion radius" apply, while pressing your number keys in the right order. And 80% of the World of Warcraft population ABSOLUTELY SUCKS at these tasks. They die, they fail at their specific objectives, they don't know how to play their class or handle their group role.

Now for the drumroll....

ALL of these people, who fail so horribly at a simple video game, have driver's licenses.

Obviously, America sort of requires a driver's license if you live outside of a big city, and sometimes when you live in one. But it seems a problem to me that our requirements are so low that literally everyone can have one. Perhaps if the requirements for operating a 2+ ton, 70+ mile-per-hour death machine were stricter, cities would build to be more friendly to alternative forms of transportation? Just some food for thought....

In the meantime, for goodness' sakes, drive carefully.

Life is Busy!

2009-11-20T14:45:00.002-05:00

I know it's already been a while since I last updated, but this isn't the "thoughts" update I've been promising, just an interim hello!

I got to have a lesson with John the other night, where I talked about my trip and all my thoughts on it, my thoughts on vocal technique and some exercises to build towards some alternative "mechanical" goals (constant relaxation of the larynx downwards, which I've found my be related to the creation of the Singer's Formant*, and constant engagement of the diaphragm and entire breathing mechanism while singing). He critiqued the exercises I came up with, and then we started working on the more usual stuff, which was working very well! I definitely feel like I've grown and advanced in the month-and-a-half since last I'd seen him.

On the other side of things, my impending wedding to CertainLady (as I'll keep calling her until I think of a good name for her) is... impending! The date is December 28th, and things are heading into full steam. We met with our officiant last night, a woman from my church who I'd forgotten was a minister until I was reminded. CertainLady had never met her before, and was perhaps slightly trepidatious, considering our earlier officiant-adventures, which obviously did not end ideally. But she (and I, though I was quite confident going in) was quite happy to discover that our officiant is more or less exactly what we would hope for- and is, herself, tickled pink that we asked her to be involved. From what we talked about last night, it's going to be a beautiful ceremony, with lots of fancy outfits and romantic lighting and poetic spiritual-but-secular language.

In other news, dear readers, you are among the first to learn that I'm looking for a few (just 2-3!) committed students of the human voice to teach! If you're interested or know someone who's interested, definitely drop me a note. I think I would have a lot to offer a beginner student of any age, so if you have (or a friend has) always wanted to learn how to use your voice more beautifully, healthily, and effectively, give it some consideration! Obviously other events in my life prevent me from starting lessons until the New Year, but I figured I'd start letting people know a little ahead of time for planning and consideration's sake.

* The Singer's Formant is a harmonic, unique to the highly-trained human voice, which resonates at anywhere from 2800-3200 hertz. It is theorized that this formant might be the reason the human voice can be heard over a much louder orchestra- the main body of the voice resonates on the same frequencies as the orchestra, but the singer's formant resonates far higher than the orchestra, allowing the sound of the voice to carry to the ear. Incidentally, the ear may even be specially tuned to pick up the singer's formant, but I only saw that mentioned speculatively in one place.

Is it time?

2009-11-09T10:48:00.000-05:00

Huh? What? Where am I? What day is it??

Oh, right. I wasn't actually unconscious all this time, just procrastinating/busy/thoughtful. Have I finished thinking? Hell no. Will I be finished soon? Hell no, but it'd help to have a lesson with John to talk about my thoughts with him... hmmm. Oh well. Soonish.

I warned you this would be long, but here you are nonetheless! And so, without further ado, a summary of my trip. But first...

SOME HISTORY!

Point 1: When a student is looking for a teacher to instruct them in the human voice, not just any teacher will do. The student and teacher have to "speak the same language," so to speak. A corollary to this might also be that no matter how highly regarded a given teacher may be, that teacher may not work for every student.

John's corollary to THAT is: No matter how highly regarded a given teacher may be, that teacher may not work for ANY student. A teacher may be highly regarded because of their past accomplishments (a famous singer, for instance) or their associations (with a strong program, for instance), and yet that teacher may give fundamentally wrong instructions to their students. The ones who "make it" do so not because of, but in spite of this instruction.

Point 2: The human voice is one of the latest instruments to mature. A pianist can be a virtuoso at 3, a violinist can tour the world at 12. The human voice is not ready for study until one's teens- 15 or 16- due to the changes of the physical body (and voice, of course) up to that time.

Point 3: Fully three weeks ago now, I took a trip up to the northeast to visit a whole series of institutions and explore whether any of them would be right for me, for a graduate school. The schools I visited were (in order of visit):

Boston Conservatory

New England Conservatory

The Hartt School

Yale

Juilliard

(Manhattan School of Music) - Which I didn't actually visit.

Point 4: Prior to my trip, a woman I'd be having a coaching session with gave me the names of three teachers she respected very highly in the areas I mentioned: At Boston Conservatory, Dr. F-. At Juilliard, Mrs. M- and Mr. S-. John had spoken extremely poorly of Mrs. M-, I'd heard good things about Dr. F-, and I knew nothing of Mr. S-. I managed to schedule a lesson with Mr. S-, but I was unable to do the same with Dr. F-. At John's exhortations, I ignored Mrs. M-.

MORE HISTORY! Now to the day-by-day playback!

Day 1, Tuesday - Boston, Massachusetts:

Early in the day I visited Boston Conservatory. I went to an Aria Class, which one of my college friends (N.B.- I'm keeping most people from this trip mostly anonymous, for various and sundry reasons) was taking this semester. It was a fun experience- I got to meet a lot of interesting people, and the teacher (Michael Strauss) seemed very interesting. The class itself was a little strange... singers would get up and sing an Aria, and then the class (and teacher) would discuss whether that Aria was a good one for auditions. Mind you, the class was NOT about how well the singers performed the Aria, from the standpoint of auditions, but seemingly how good the Aria was, period, for an audition piece. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the teacher and the class and was pleased to hear that my voice would probably fit in with this group of singers.

In the afternoon of Day 1 I visited New England Conservatory. First I had a lesson with a teacher who came highly recommended to me from a trusted source- my excellent freshman-year accompanist, who studied with this teacher during his time at Boston Conservatory. I specifically wanted to talk to Mr. C- because he taught at both schools and could give me some insight into the two programs. The basics are:

Boston Conservatory is a smaller program, which includes classical, musical theater, and dance. It's a more intimate community and has a different "energy" for the inclusion of non-classical forms.

New England Conservatory is a larger program, exclusively focusing on classical music. It's also a better known school, and has a stronger reputation. It performs more programs and scenes, but the larger size of the program does not necessarily guarantee participation in these options. Some teachers work not just for other Universities, but for Universities half a country away.

Then Mr. C- and I had a quick lesson! He commented that my voice was a little nasal, and he threw out a word that I'd heard before very infrequently, but never in reference to singing, ever: "chiaroscuro." He said that the italians had this idea of the ideal voice being both bright (chiaro) and dark (oscuro), bringing forth the idea of "chiaroscuro." My voice, he said, was very bright (perhaps too bright, and a little nasal), but didn't have the darkness behind it. He also commented that my breathing did not seem to be very connected and working for me. We went through a few exercises to hook in my breathing and bring a little more warmth to my sound, some of which I'd done with teachers in the past, and then our time was up! In parting, I inquired "What changes would you say my voice needs to make in the next month to realistically picture me at either institution?" And he responded (encouragingly) "I think if you can get your breath working for you and bring a little more warmth into your sound, it wouldn't be hard to imagine you here." Good to hear, certainly, but... given that they were the two very areas we'd just been addressing, I couldn't help but wonder if another teacher would give a different response based on their "pet areas."

Mr. C- also told me an interesting thing about NEC's prescreening vetting process- they pop in your cd, ask what everyone wants to hear, skip to the hardest part of that song and listen for about 10 seconds. Based on that, they decide whether or not to call you back for an audition. It was an eye-opening piece of audition-process information. From outside of that whole system, I can (of course) criticize it- you're certainly not hearing the whole range of someone's voice that way- but perhaps if I were "on the inside" I would better understand the necessity and (supposed) effectiveness of this method.

Continuing on, I spoke (later in the day) with Mark St. Laurent, the head of the program at NEC. He spoke VERY fast, but I had no problem catching what he was saying. He didn't have much more information for me about NEC than I'd already gotten from Mr. C-, but I enjoyed speaking with him briefly.

At the end of the day I sat in on a rehearsal for a scenes program at NEC. I don't know the opera (operetta?) the scene was from, but it definitely grew on me over the course of the evening, and the singers seemed like very interesting people. Again, I felt confident in the ability of my voice to fit in in such an environment.

To finish off the evening I met another friend from college (who we'll call KC), who LIVES with the friend from earlier, for crepes! I had a great time hanging out with her and hearing all about her hopes and dreams and plans and jobs and projects. And the crepes were outrageously tasty as well. End of Day 1!

Day 2, Wednesday - Hartford and New Haven, Connecticut:

We got on the road from Boston to Hartford fairly early, and we thought everything would be just fine. At least, we thought we would until we checked mom's iPhone and realized it was actually a far longer trip than we'd been lead to believe. I was half an hour late for my meeting at the Hartt School with Ms. L-, with whom I'd arranged a lesson.

As it turned out, that wasn't terribly debilitating. Take a look at their website here. Go ahead! I'll wait!

Back? So the website looks pretty impressive! The campus, however... well. The Hartt School is a School of Music associated with the University of Hartford. I'd heard decent things about it from John and from a colleague in the Raleigh area who attended a while ago, and so I included it on my list. Driving to the school, however, gave a very different impression. It was only one small, beige cinderblock building on the back side of the University of Hartford. The roads were small, the grounds almost completely devoid of landscaping, and the parking lot was basically a crumbled asphalt pit, where some of the crumbles had some white on them to delineate parking spaces. Well, don't judge a book by its cover.

To make a long story short, I had my meeting/lesson with Ms. L-, about whom I'd been warned by a former student. She was very articulate about the musculature of the throat and the mechanics of the voice and could tell me a) that I was doing things wrong, b) what I was doing wrong, c) that she could fix it for me. But in the whole meeting/lesson with her, despite my dropping numerous hints, she never gave me instruction to help solve them right then and there, nor advice on how to go about solving them. She also confessed that Hartt didn't really focus on performance at all for anyone, and especially not for graduate students. Similarly, the graduate students that DO exist put on a grand total of ZERO productions each year, so it's definitely not looking like the best option- and the program in general IS looking highly resistant to change.

From that meeting I went and spoke with admissions, who informed me that the other areas of interest I'd marked (music/arts management) were undergraduate-only programs. I was left with a feeling of "hmm... so what does this place DO exactly?" All in all, I was less than impressed. Second of all, any time I spend time with a teacher under the pretenses of taking a lesson and we just talk the whole time, without doing any exercises, is simply a little irritating.

Then I drove off to Yale! I spoke with Grant Meachum a bit, who was very kind and considerate and helpful, and the young woman who showed up to also visit the school. She went to sit in on lessons with Doris Cross, the woman who instructs the women at Yale, and I, waiting for Richard Cross (the male teacher), went upstairs to sit in on a rehearsal of a scene from The Rake's Progress. It was fantastic to see the rehearsal- the singers were clearly of very high quality, and the teacher (Marc Verzatt) turned out to be an excellent instructor, highly capable himself, and an all-around very nice guy. I took my leave after a very enjoyable hour of observation and headed downstairs to sit in on a lesson with Richard.

The student I heard was a baritone with an ENORMOUS voice, who sounded like he could absolutely be out of school, in the professional world, making serious money singing. Everyone else at Yale gave me a similar impression, to varying degrees, but this young man was truly (in my opinion) ready to be performing professionally. By this point I had come to the (somewhat interesting) revelation that Yale was not a school for people who wanted to learn how to sing- it was a school for people who already knew how to sing. What they learn there I'm not quite certain... I'm sure there's a certain amount of vocal polishing that goes on, and everyone gets a lot of very tailored-to-them-specifically stage time and experience, but it's not really a "graduate" program so much as a polishing program.

Of all the programs I've seen so far on my trip, and, I will soon learn, of all the programs I have yet to see- Yale's is the most interesting to me. I liked the people, I liked the campus, I liked the town- and I liked that the program wasn't simply a "better" program nevertheless conceptually equivalent to my undergraduate education (which was the impression I got from everywhere else). Yale knows what it's doing and what it wants to do, and it has set itself up to be the very best at it. And if you get in, you go for free. The only problem is, as I said, that Yale accepts students (16 total in the program at any given time) who are ready to be out there, performing, and making boocoo money doing it. That is, unfortunately, not me at my current stage of development. While I felt fairly confident at Boston Conservatory and New England Conservatory, the men and women at Yale are on a completely separate level from myself (and those other students). To see the differences so clearly is to evoke the question of HOW these men and women sound so different? Is it innate? Or is it training? And if it is training, then where on earth did these people study before Yale to end up so good so young? End of Day 2.

Day 3, Thursday - New York, New York:

We hopped on a train for a quick 1.5 hour train ride over to New York City early in the morning! Getting there at about 9, I met my friend Nick and we dropped our stuff at his apartment. Almost immediately I took off for a facilities tour of Juilliard! I asked a ton of questions, but our guide was more than capable of answering all of them. I've never found facilities tours to be incredibly informative, but it was nice to see the spaces and hear some of the students. After a quick lunch, I went off to a coaching session with Ms. S-, with whom I'd had coaching sessions during college. (This is the same Ms. S- who recommended Ms. M-, Dr. F- and Mr. S- as excellent teachers of tenors) She was always very helpful and had responded to my inquiries with incredible grace, kindness, and willingness to assist, and so I looked forward to our meeting. I was, however, also slightly apprehensive- she coaches not one's production or technique, but one's performance and emotional content. I knew that some of my pieces were not quite set in their technique, so I wondered what she would say or we would work on.

We met in her very nice New York apartment and, after exchanging pleasantries, got down to business. I told her the pieces I had, to which she exclaimed that it was a very eclectic group without much cohesion as far as roles or fach are concerned- echoing a less obvious sentiment from Yale the day before. This was somewhat surprising to me, as I thought all my music was either Lyric or Light Lyric, but perhaps I need to do some more research on it. She decided that the best use of our time would be for her to hear a large number of things so she could best advise me on how to proceed. And so we started with "En fermant les yeux" from Manon! It went alright, and she asked for another piece, so I offered "O del mio amato ben," by Stefano Donaudy. Immediately she exclaimed that it was much better- richer, fuller, perhaps a newer technique that's working better for me- and it doesn't go as high so it doesn't show some of the higher challenges. But, she mentioned, that when I was supposed to be singing an [o] or [a], it didn't SOUND like [o] or [a]. Now here's some language I understand! I opened up those vowels and things got SIGNIFICANTLY easier. The hour with her was very enjoyable- I sang a few things and she remarked that it sounded like I was on the cusp, so to speak, of a vocal breakthrough, and that maybe if I waited one more year to go to grad school all my issues would have the time to iron themselves out and I could present myself very strongly.

I left feeling good and thinking about how to proceed with my training and goals. End (except for a visit to the Met to see The Barber of Seville) of Day 3.

Day 4, Friday - New York, New York:

My first event on Friday was to meet with Ms. S- again to chat about Juilliard and Manhattan School of Music. She brought a student friend of hers, a graduate student at MSM, to chat about the program there. It was an interesting talk, but the gist of it was what I'd already heard- MSM is a good school where you can make good connections, it's very expensive, they don't have much money to give out for scholarships, and it's a very large program so you're never guaranteed to be on stage for anything. The graduate student spoke highly of the program and her experience, don't get me wrong- but to me, these drawbacks (which she did affirm) seem fairly significant.

From there it was a short walk to meet Mr. S-, a prominent voice teacher on staff at a highly regarded (but anonymous!) institution in New York. The hour's lesson with him would be $125, so I had high hopes for what he might be able to say, and how he might be able to help me. After all, he was on staff at said highly regarded institution, and came highly recommended by Ms. S-! I showed up and sang a song for him (probably O Del mio Amato Ben again- it's a good one for me), and then the rest of our (very expensive) hour was him talking about how he would teach me if we were to have a lesson.

And here's where things got weird! See, he started by asking if I knew one of the teachers at my college, which of course I did. He exclaimed that this teacher was one of his former students! This immediately set off warning bells, because of all the teachers at my school, I thought that this particular teacher did not have a good production. This teacher's sound was muddied and their text somewhat difficult to understand. It set me on edge, to say the least, to find out that one of Mr. S's former students sounded differently, perhaps, from how I want to sound in the future.

Additionally, as he talked about his theories ("placement" is a false idea, and it goes against the ever-changing nature of singing! -- Okay, that's semantics. -- Blow excess air across the vocal cords so that they get sucked together by pressure without involving the muscles of the throat! -- Okay, that doesn't sound healthy at all) and demonstrated some of his techniques, I was left highly underwhelmed. His voice sounded harsh, and perhaps slightly gravelly. Given what John has talked to me about and the utter rejection of this style of thinking by Mr. S, I had to wonder what was going on here. Compounding the situation is the fact that this man is highly thought of by many people- he has singers on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera, many people in New York know his name, Ms. S-, who I like and respect a lot, recommended him to me! Could it be that my ideas, learnings so far, and instincts about the proper use and training of the human voice are so wrong?

From there I made my way back to Juilliard, where I sat in on a few classes. It was very enjoyable and I got to meet a number of interesting teachers and students, but the program didn't strike me the way Yale's did. If I had to compare, I would say that Yale wants to be on the top, and may BE on the top, but it's certainly sparing no expense to ensure that it IS on top. Juilliard is, however, perhaps a little comfortable in its reputation and historic position of power. There was an air of relaxed confidence about the whole institution- confidence which is surely deserved to some degree... but perhaps not QUITE to the degree that it exists. End of Day 4.

Along the way, I saw the Met's production of The Barber of Seville, starring Joyce DiDonato as Rosina (who, incidentally, I thought, based on my own training and instruction up to this point, had the most right going for her in her voice). It was highly enjoyable on a number of levels, but, like much Rossini, some of the pieces could carry on for quite some time. Fortunately the staging was clever enough that whenever some ensemble piece started its fifth repetition, some clever staging would materialize to engage the audience.

I also saw God of Carnage, which was played as a comedy. It worked, and I enjoyed it and was entertained, but it was also interesting to note that it could have easily been played as a tragedy, to very different effect.

And that, dear friends, is the end of my summary of my trip. I have many many thoughts and I'm certain I'll post again sometime soon elucidating them. Overall, where I thought my trip would answer some questions for me, instead it asked 100 more for each question I had- and for many of the new questions, I have no answer- and for many of them there may be no right answer at all. Much pondering has occurred, and much needs to continue occurring- but now, at least, you know the facts.

Until later!

Never Fear!

2009-11-05T09:12:00.002-05:00

Never fear, dedicated and loyal readers!

I have been silent for a long time, because my trip to visit grad schools in the northeast has given me a TON to think about- both regarding my own voice and the state of vocal study and instruction at the highest levels today.

I am currently, however, drafting a monster post in which I will detail the experiences of my great adventure- and I shall either include in it or shortly follow it with a post-mortem including my thoughts and feelings as they've formulated so far.

It was a fascinating experience in many ways, and in many different ways than the ones in which I expected it to be fascinating!

My Trip, Part 1

2009-10-12T22:32:00.002-04:00

I'm coming to you LIVE (well sort of) from Boston! I made it here and am excited about tomorrow, which begins in earnest my busy schedule of visiting graduate schools.

I'm sleepy and need my rest, so for tonight the merest of itineraries:

Tomorrow, Tuesday, October 13th:

10:00 am - Aria Class, Boston Conservatory. A friend of mine from UNC will be in attendance, and I look forward to seeing him again, as well as observing the class!

1:00 pm - Trial Lesson, Bill Cotten, New England Conservatory. My freshman year accompanist later went on to study with this man, and recommends him highly. It will be fantastic to see what he has to say. The question I should be asking all of these people is thus:

"Given your brief exposure to my voice, what developments do you think are needed in order to realistically picture it as a part of your institution?"

4:30 pm - Chat, Mark St. Laurent, Chair of Department, New England Conservatory. Mr. St. Laurent has been very friendly in email correspondence and I look forward to chatting with him briefly face to face. Must set down some good questions for the asking.

5:00 pm - Chat, Patty Thom, Chair of Department, Boston Conservatory. I'm afraid I might miss this, coming so shortly on the heels of my earlier chat- I'll have to find her earlier in the day and give my humblest apologies.

6:00 pm - Opera Scenes class, John Greer, New England Conservatory. He wrote a children's opera called "The Snow Queen" after Hans Christian Andersen's tale of the same name. It should be great to see how he runs the scenes program, which Mark tells me is nearing completion.

All in all a long and full day. It should be exciting- I can't wait to see the schools in action and hear what everyone has to say. Better put on my extrovert hat. ;)

Until tomorrow!

It will be nice to come home to my lovely fiancee once again at the end of this week.

OCNC Rigoletto: Opening Night!

2009-10-02T10:11:00.001-04:00

So the big night has finally arrived!

It's been a hectic week... Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday's calls (the time at which performers have to be at the theater to prepare) were at 6:00, and today's is at 6:30. Those of you who know me personally may also know that I get off WORK at 6:00! How to solve this problem, you ask? Why, work through lunch and take off an hour early at 5:00! This doesn't completely solve the problem, as it generally takes a full hour to get from my office to the theater at rush hour, and I do need to eat at some point... but at least I'm only a little bit late.

We've had times both good and bad this past week... One of our principals came down with a mild cold or fatigue and had to go home and rest one night, but they recovered fairly quickly. Other principals let their prima donna sides out for some fresh air, while still others proved just how genial and warm one can be during a 5-hour tech rehearsal. The chorus was alternately great and terrible- during our dress rehearsal the conductor actually STOPPED one scene, saying "guys, this is just unacceptable." You can bet we whipped it into shape after THAT admonition!

Blocking (the movements characters and groups make around the stage) solidified as we got into the space, with some things causing additional problems that needed to be worked out. All in all though, most everything translated very well! I'm the chorus member who climbs the ladder to break the courtiers into Rigoletto's house, and we had some fun figuring out how to handle the ladder the best (and safest!), but we worked it out and it's all settled. I've always enjoyed climbing around on sets, and getting to explore the full space- it's great to see everything from different angles.

All in all, our dress rehearsal had some less-than-perfect moments. And by "some" I mean "a lot." But never fear- there's a saying in theater... if your dress rehearsal goes well, your opening night is doomed. But if your dress rehearsal goes poorly, you're sure to open with a bang. I'm sure we'll be great tonight. I'm thrilled to hear the full work done without any stops, with everyone performing at full throttle. Truly, Rigoletto is a fantastic opera, and our group is doing it very, very well.

See you tonight!

What is so great about being Classically Trained?

2009-09-28T14:28:00.000-04:00

So someone got to my blog by searching on google for "What is so great about being classically trained?" I thought this was a very interesting question.

First, a word about the (current) name of my blog. I chose "Classically Trained" for a few reasons. First, because, on first hearing, it evokes art. When one hears of someone who has been "classically trained," the first images that pop into their minds might be of an opera singer, a painter who has studied in the style of Monet, or a Shakespearian actor. As an opera singer, I like the connection. Secondarily, I'm making a slyly confident reference to my teacher, and his strong belief that singers today are not trained the way they were 50, 100, 200 years ago. He took a good hard look at what made historic singers so great (Gedda, Bjoerling, Caruso, Pavarotti, Kraus, and others) and his own voice, and from the two has developed the most interesting (and, I think, accurate) theory of singing I've ever encountered. As an added bonus, it has brought my voice very, very far. Finally, there's another reason I chose the name...

What can I say? I'm a gamer at heart, and the classic NES system will always have a special place.

Now on to the real question- What IS so good about being classically trained?

The common understanding of classical training is basically that the performer has taken lessons in the "classical" version of their art form. A pop singer has taken lessons in opera, a modern dancer has studied ballet, a visual artist assembling sculptures out of found objects began his studies in clay and stone. Calling yourself "classically trained" may evoke a sense of hours of arcane study under an ancient master of the art, or at least a certain eurocentric aura of sophistication and refinement.

Unfortunately, this definition of "classical training" is very weak. Someone who took 3 piano lessons on Bach and Handel when they were 8 has as much right, by this definition, to call themselves "classically trained" as someone who studied violin from age 3 to 23, traveling around the country (or world) to continue studying with an established virtuoso performer. Additionally, while many popular artists (in all fields) have more classical training than many suspect, many truly fantastic artists have been entirely self-taught, or studied only more modern forms of expression. So what is so great about being this kind of "classically trained?" Not much. It's a perfectly valid way to learn, but it doesn't confer supernatural benefits on those who can claim it.

However, I'd like to submit a second, more rigorous definition of classical training. I would even argue it has multiple sections. These are my criteria for good classical training.

Someone who has been classically trained has received training under an instructor or instructors which:

* Has specifically addressed, developed, and mastered the building blocks of the student's art;

* Has developed a technique in the student which allows them to master the production or reproduction of classical works not just in part, but in whole;

* Fosters within the student the ability not just to reproduce the works of earlier masters in their field, but to produce new art of their own;

* And allows the student to perform at the highest level consistently, on demand, and without harm to themselves- over their entire career and life.

Altogether, in paragraph form: True classical training specifically addresses, develops, and encourages mastery of the building blocks of the student's art; develops a technique in the student which allows them to master the reproduction of classical works not just in part, but in whole; fosters within the student the ability not just to reproduce the works of earlier masters in their field, but to produce new art of their own; and allows the student to perform at the highest level, consistently, on demand, and without harm to themselves- over their entire career and life.

To break it down into some examples-

"True classical training specifically addresses, develops, and encourages mastery of the building blocks of the student's art;"

A classically trained ballerina is taught forms and positions which serve as the basic building blocks of many complete dance routines. A classically trained visual artist may use a ruler, but they can absolutely draw a straight line freehand. A singer knows not just scales and arpeggios, crescendi and diminuendi, but also how to begin, sustain, and end a single pitch.

Why is this a criteria? I look at great singers of the past like Pavarotti and Caruso, who say that they began learning how to sing not just by singing scales, but by learning how to sing a single note. When growing up through grade school, the perpetual question on every math student's mind was "why do we have to show our work when calculators can do it immediately?" It's because true mastery is not just being able to produce the end result, but also learning how to produce every part which contributes to the end result.

"...develops a technique in the student which allows them to master the reproduction of classical works not just in part, but in whole;"

A classical singer can sing through not just the figures that make up a Mozart aria, but the entire aria as a total work. A trained ballerina can perform not just the individual figures, but the entire dance composed by them. A trained visual artist can reproduce an earlier work, in the same style, which a high degree of accuracy.

Why should an artist be able to replicate the works of the past? Isn't art supposed to be growing and changing and forward thinking? Absolutely. But the works of times past really are tough! Mozart arias are a serious challenge- being able to sing them actively demonstrates a high level of capability. The art we now call "classical" is simply old- it is art that has, by virtue of its quality, stood the test of hundreds or thousands of years. Being able to reproduce that incredible quality is a mark of mastery.

"...fosters within the student the ability not just to reproduce the works of earlier masters in their field, but to produce new art of their own;"

Through training, the ballerina can improvise dance figures of their own, or follow the instructions of a choreographer describing a brand new dance. The visual artist can compose their own paintings with their technique aiding, rather than hindering, their creative process. The singer can do more than imitate past great singers, they can produce their own unique sound and emotional depth.

This is perhaps the most obvious of the criteria. An artist should be able to advance the art form, not just mimic the artists that came before. The artist's technique, especially from true classical training, should aid in this creation.

"...and allows the student to perform at the highest level, consistently, on demand, and without harm to themselves- over their entire career and life."

To me, this is a very important one. Not only can the truly classically trained artist do all of the above, they can do so whenever they want, at a consistent (and high) level of skill, healthily, without damaging themselves. For a dancer, this means that their training has allowed them to perform at the edges of human ability, without going beyond into damaging themselves. For the singer, this means the ability to sing without developing vocal nodes, and without changing their voice due to misuse- over their entire career, and hopefully over their entire life.

But should it be necessary, to consider an artist classically trained, that they have a technique that will healthily last them their entire life? What about the singer who is the world best for 5 years, and then their voice changes, or the ballet dancer who has a meteoric career and quits at 33? This is the most difficult of the criteria to insist upon. I believe that if one has been trained correctly, then their technique should be so healthy, and so good, that they can maintain their art over a full career and life.

To me, this is the superior definition, and one that few people can claim. The name of my blog isn't so much an assertion as a hope- I can't currently claim to be classically trained in the true sense of the term, but perhaps someday I can look back and make that claim. We shall see!

What's so good about being classically trained? With proper classical training, the technique you employ in your art should do help you do what you want, whenever you want, for as long as you want. That sounds pretty great to me!

Singing Dream!

2009-09-25T10:17:00.002-04:00

I had a nice dream last night (or sometime this morning) perhaps. As my last post may have delicately hinted, I've been frustrated in my practicing lately. Well last night I dreamt that I was on my trip to the northeast (coming up, October 11-17)! I'd also managed to arrange a lesson with someone- I don't remember quite who. Some guy. This is all fairly reasonable- I'm already confirmed for a lesson with a teacher at Juilliard, and I'm working on arranging a trial lesson from a man at Boston Conservatory and New England Conservatory.

I started my lesson somewhat apprehensively (which I'm certain I will be in real life- these people are pretty high on the proverbial graduate school totem pole, and probably in high demand), but this teacher quickly led me through some exercises. My voice, to my relief, was working well!

Then came the amusing part- "To continue your training," says this teacher, "you have to go outside and sing to people standing around!" (To my now waking mind, this is reminiscent of a quest in World of Warcraft, which I do play- but in the dream, no such comparison was actively drawn)

And so, since this made perfect sense to dream-me, I went outside and began singing "O del mio amato ben" to the groups of people gathered around the area, eating ice cream, chatting, hanging out, and what have you. I don't think any of them responded much, but I was singing well! It was very easy and relaxed, and sounded good to my dream-ears. And that's the end!

Interestingly, I've had a LOT of videogame dreams... but I've never had many singing dreams! I'm sure that will probably change as I start singing more. Hopefully they're all as benign as this one!

Two Weeks from HELL

2009-09-24T09:20:00.000-04:00

So I had a lesson nearly two weeks ago, and I have another one tomorrow, in keeping with my recently arranged standard lesson schedule with John. In the interim, I've been trying to find as much damn time to practice as possible- Certainlady can tell you all about it. Many were the hours she spent, these last two weeks, listening to me make strange crazy experimental sounds with my voice. I shudder to think of the plight of my apartment neighbors.

I'll freely admit, I get pretty frustrated with my voice sometimes, especially when everything seems to be going well, I plan on auditioning for grad schools, put together some rep, and then everything starts falling apart- or seeming like it. John and I found interesting new ways of making sound in our last lesson, and in the lesson itself they worked very well. They were easy, relaxed, and produced a solid sound. My high notes were easier to access than the previous way I'd been producing them, and at the end of our nearly two-hour lesson I wasn't fatigued vocally.

In practice sessions these past two weeks, though, it's been a monumentous struggle to reproduce the results I got in my lesson! I've been able to occasionally, but inconsistently- and even when I do get the same sort of sound, it's not as solid and concrete and reliable as it was in the lesson. Furthermore, in my experimentations, I inevitably end up vocally fatigued, which is never a good sign. Causing EVEN FURTHER frustration, what works one day may not work the next- for example, on Tuesday, I found a great way of singing that combined the open internal space of a round [o] vowel with the bright forward placement of an [i] vowel. On Wednesday, however, it no longer worked. The production that was so even and smooth and facile on Tuesday was rough and strained and ineffective on Wednesday!

It's further disheartening for these two weeks to have gone so poorly knowing how little time I have left before I have to record my voice at its current best and send it off to large, featureless obsidian opera fortresses who will look down upon it with cold, unfeeling eyes!

However. For all of my current bitching, I've been taking lessons long enough to know that usually, when I feel like I've worked my ass off and gotten nowhere, that's signalling that the next lesson is going to hold some major breakthroughs. John is usually pretty able to cut through what I'm doing wrong and isolate what I'm doing right. Then, it's just a matter of my continuing work on what's right on my own! I may be frustrated right now, but it's not every two-week period that feels like this, and I can only improve going forward. At least I'm putting in a lot of effort!

More Rigoletto chorus rehearsal tonight, tomorrow night, and all Saturday. I can't wait to see how the scenes evolve with repetition! It's such a shame the chorus doesn't share more stage time with more characters... I have no idea how Sparafucile or Maddalena are! I can't wait to see and hear them in the sitzprobes next week- I'm sure they'll be fantastic, like the rest of our cast.

Some Opera News!

2009-09-23T09:52:00.003-04:00

So the opera world was rocked with the news yesterday- the Metropolitan Opera's new production of Tosca was booed! That link will take you to the full review, which is worth reading, I think.

Cast:

Conductor: James Levine
Tosca: Karita Mattila
Cavaradossi: Marcelo Álvarez
Scarpia: George Gagnidze
Sacristan: Paul Plishka

Production Team:

Production: Luc Bondy
Set Designer: Richard Peduzzi
Costume Designer: Milena Canonero
Lighting Designer: Max Keller

It wasn't the singers, oh no- by all accounts, the cast did a fantastic job, and were showered with appropriate praise for it. The major complaint seems to be that the production was both different from the expected norm and also not terribly well pulled off. Having never seen Tosca, and considering the production from the perspective of an opera neophyte, some of the complaints make no sense to me. Not having prior expectations, what would a viewer care if Tosca didn't place candles around Scarpia's body? Or if the first scene of the show appeared to be in a church's courtyard rather than the inner sanctum? Points like this, it seems to me, are unfair to boo. Art shouldn't remain static, even for old fans, and reinterpretations of a favorite story should be greeted with open minds.

However, other complaints seem reasonable. Tosca's fatal stabbing of Scarpia is apparently awkwardly and unclearly handled- from the description, it seems unclear that a neophyte would understand quite what had happened. Such a dramatic and key plot event should be staged clearly. Likewise, Tosca's death scene traditionally has her leap from a window. In the new production, Tosca ascends a flight of stairs, exiting stage. The Huffington Post reports that "After too long a delay to be plausible, a double dressed like Mattila flies out from an opening and hangs suspended by a wire as the curtain falls." Items like this should be handled more smoothly, especially at a major opera theater- doubly especially when the cost of good tickets can be so high.

On the whole, I'm happy to see the Met taking risks like this, and I also highly support audiences being free to express their true opinions of a show. I think more cheering, applause, laughing, and booing should be encouraged, and not just at major opera houses around the country. Too often are audiences of live theater passive recipients, and it even seems like classical music institutions actively ENCOURAGE their audiences to be passive in their experience. Granted, audiences should scale their expectations to the group putting on the show, but within the expected range of that group, audiences should be able to demand a certain quality, and express their appreciation or disapproval depending on the outcomes. I would like to see a theater that actively encourages their audience to be vocal both in their approval and disapproval.

In the end, I'm certain the more awkward staging and timing kinks will be worked out as the show continues through production. Should they have been worked out before hand? Certainly, especially at the Met. However, I've been in enough opening nights by now to know that opening night is probably the most dangerous evening for reviewers. Nerves run high for all involved on opening night, and even the most practiced group will find things either going incredibly well for the extra energy, or being just a little bit off. I'm certain the production crew at the Met is neither deaf nor immune to praise and criticism and will iron out the kinks with appropriate speed.

Multitasking!

2009-09-22T10:56:00.002-04:00

Rigoletto's going very smoothly. It's a blast to see the principals work. Most of the time they're marking- singing down an octave or mouthing words or singing very lightly- but about once per rehearsal they'll go through a whole scene in full voice. It's a lot of fun to hear. Not only that, but Mr. Laperriere is really showing his acting chops- usually when I'm onstage with someone, their performance isn't as impactful to me, but there were a couple of times on Saturday where I had to stop and say "damn!"

Saturday! We were in rehearsal for 6 out of 7 hours- from 10 am to 5 pm, with a break at 1:00 for some lunch. It was a long day, and most of it was on our feet, walking through the space. It looks like the show is going to be pretty interesting, visually- overall, I think a lot of good staging choices have been made. Additionally, we got to pull more of the dramatic feel of each scene into the music, which improved what we were singing dramatically. There ARE a few moments where I found myself wishing the chorus had a little more to do... some sections feel, right now, a little stand-and-sing, which I think no longer cuts it in the opera world. However, considering the quality of some of our other stuff, I feel confident that these sections will relax into something more natural as we go into our intense rehearsal schedule this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Meanwhile, in the midst of this heavy rehearsal schedule, I'm trying to find as much time to practice as possible. After all, it's only 2.6 weeks before I head up north to speak with (and perhaps have lessons with) people at graduate schools, and I'd like to sound decent for them on the off chance they hear me some. Recently, on Sunday and Monday, my practicing has been frustrating. I'm not quite sure if I'm accurately replicating the lighter sound I found in my lesson, or even if that's truly the right sound to be using. John seemed to think it was worlds improved, so I suppose I should find comfort in that, even if it seems lighter and perhaps less facile. After all, it is very new. Further frustrations arise in that it is very difficult to FIND this sound, unless I go to that specific spot in my lesson tape and listen to how I'm making it there. Of course, that does help a lot.

Perhaps, though, the light is shining through the gloomy practice-clouds- this morning things felt much easier, and I was practicing enough in my car to be feeling better about things. I'll give it some good attention tonight and hope I can bring the relative new ease of the exercises into the actual pieces I'm singing. I think the biggest thing I need to remember is that I can't PUSH the sound forward- I just have to be open and allow the space that lets the sound be forward, naturally.

I was also talking to Leonard (Marullo) on Saturday, who offered some wisdom... he said that when he was younger he was told that singing just gets easier as you get older. Now that he's older, he can safely say it's definitely true. His reasoning for this was that as you get older, you don't have the energy to fight yourself or get in your way any more. This seemed pretty wise to me, and I'm definitely starting to think of and seek out ways I can get out of my own way, so to speak.

I'm definitely feeling a little stressed... I will have to sit down this evening after practicing and write out a checklist of who I need to contact now at various schools. Then, having done that, I will contact each and every one of them- as well as poking the admissions departments that are dragging their feet on responding. Now THERE's a pet peeve for you... a prospective grad student writes your admissions dept for information and your dept gives only the most perfunctory informationless reply? Come on now kids, there's got to be a better way.

The end! More later, as developments occur.

For your Perusal!

2009-09-21T17:07:00.002-04:00

If you're interested in other classical singers who have blogs, I encourage you to check out this post over at Opera I Love, a blog mostly in greek with some english posts throughout.

It's on my list of intended reading... though I've already looked through YankeeDiva some. It's great to read the personal perspective of someone as successful as Joyce DiDonato!

Staging Rehearsal the First

2009-09-18T08:35:00.003-04:00

We had our first staging rehearsal last night for OCNC's Rigoletto, which goes up October 2 and 4. For the first hour, we worked with Timothy Meyers, the conductor, on music only. It was great to be conducted by him- he seems to really know what he's doing, which only gives us the confidence to sing a little more emotionfully. There were some times last night when I really thought "wow, we sound like a real opera chorus!" Good thing, eh?

I wish I could remember the stage director's name... because once we got through our hour-and-change of music rehearsal, we took a break and came back for staging! We got a good look at the set (our stage director brought printouts), and got to see it taped out on the floor. Then he set us all up on stage how he wanted us, and walked about half the cast through 3 or 4 initial moves he wanted them to make through the overture and introductory scene. Our stage director is definitely another guy who seems like he knows his stuff- I think the moves are going to look great from the audience. One of my gripes about opera choruses in general is that many staging directors tend to treat the chorus as one entity. Dramatically that may be how it functions, but if the audience can't see the individual members of that entity through the staging, then it breaks immersion- people don't walk around in a homogeneous group, they carry their identities with them. I'm thrilled to say that our stage director (curse my memory!) is treating us largely like individuals, with relationships and motivations of our own- I can't wait to see what he comes up with for later in the act when we're bragging to the Duke.

It was great to hear all the principals... they all sound good, but I think it's clear the production splurged some on Rigoletto himself. The man's name is Gaetan Laperierre, and he sang the entire evening from memory. I approached him and said it seemed like maybe he'd done this once or twice before... his response: "Oh, a few more than that." His voice had a lot of ring to it- I'm sure he'll fill Memorial Auditorium quite well. It was also a blast to see his mannerisms as Rigoletto- he manages to carry himself and move completely differently, which will only make it easier to respond to him on stage.

Exciting stuff! I think it's going to be a great show... if any of you are interested, here's how you can get tickets! Rigoletto is one of my favorite operas, if not at the very top of the list. It's dramatic, it's romantic, it's exciting, and it has some very familiar music in it, even for people who don't know any opera. I think it's shaping up wonderfully!

Whoa.

2009-09-16T11:10:00.002-04:00

So the enormity of my next few months just hit me. Let's recap, shall we?

Immediately impending: Opera Company of North Carolina's "Rigoletto" goes up on October 2 and 4. A lowly chorister though I may be, the next 2.5 weeks are (respectively) staging week and tech week. This will require hours of my time in the evenings and on precious unscheduled Saturdays, and eventually arranging to leave work a little early to make calls on time.

Slightly further in the future: A weeklong trip around New England to visit Boston Conservatory, New England Conservatory, The Hartt School, Yale, Manhattan School of Music, and Juilliard. I've already been contacting the admissions departments of these schools, with varying degrees of help being offered. I've followed up more deeply on some of them, speaking with faculty- but I still need to do this for the 3 or 4 remaining schools. And beyond following up, I need to actively schedule times to meet with people, chat about programs, and maybe take a lesson if I can swing it. After all, a school's reputation only gets it so far- I've always heard that you want to choose a grad school based on the teacher.

By November first and/or December first: I have to choose which schools to officially apply to, fill out applications, write essays, and (this is the big one) finalize audition repertoire and record a pre-screening CD to send with my applications. It's Juilliard that's due on November 1... I don't expect to make it beyond pre-screening, but it seems like I should at least throw my name into that particular hat. Of course, the one-less-month makes it even more challenging to put everything together in time in a flattering enough light. My early weeks in October are going to be literally devoted to practicing my ASS off, all hours of the day and night, whenever I get the free time for it.

In late December: I'm getting married! We've got the venue, we've got our reception locked in, now it's all about details. Luckily my wonderful fiancee will be handling most of it, but I've still got to get together with my groomspeople (one of them's female), figure out the official invitations, choose and rent tuxes, provide monetary support for joint wedding purchases, and then get married.

Looks like the end of this year will be an absolute full-out sprint to the finish line. Within the confines of these deadlines I have to fit a job that keeps me from 10am to 6pm, bi-monthly lessons with my current teacher, and destressing enough to keep sane. It's gonna be a wild ride!

Facts:

2009-09-15T22:05:00.005-04:00

Fact 1- most of my visitors who don't know me get here by searching for some way of cheating on macgamut. They are directed towards the post in which I tell them to man up and do the work, becuase, for a musician, they're well worth having.

Fact 2- the confusing one. Most of the people who get to my blog searching for macgamut cheats return to google to search for the same term multiple times and get to my blog multiple times. To the same post. Generally, I'll get 5 or 6 repeat hits from such a user, all in the span of 3 or 4 minutes. Guys, that post ain't gonna say something different just because you hit the back button and clicked the link again.

As it turns out, I have a little more to mention here... Opera Company of North Carolina's production of Rigoletto is ramping up! This Thursday we begin staging rehearsals. I think I've got most of it memorized, but I should definitely give it another look tonight and tomorrow night. From Thursday on it becomes an intense schedule involving usually 10-20 hours over a given week, which is significantly more involvement than my prior experiences in the chorus of an opera. I'm definitely excited to begin- Rigoletto is perhaps my favorite opera of all time, and OCNC tends to do higher production value shows. Given that this will be in "the big hall" (Memorial Auditorium as opposed to Fletcher Opera Theater, which is actually better suited for opera, I think), I suspect this show will not disappoint. Further updates as they become available! I'm off to give a quick look at my music.

Excitement!

2009-09-14T15:50:00.002-04:00

It seems as though things are working in my favor lately. As I said earlier, my lessons with John have only gotten better and better as time goes on, and I'm finally developing a voice I can have confidence in. Some of my current elation comes from today's practicing, when I found myself suddenly surprised by the sheer power and strength of the voice I was listening to (my own). Additionally, I was quite pleased with the facility of my sound over the whole of "O del mio amato ben," a song which is deceptively complex. Now, of course, if I have power and facility then I absolutely MUST have finesse... but that's the next building block. I'll definitely be working on it in the lead-up to my auditions. All in all though, my voice surprised me this morning, in a good way.

I also had a meeting this morning with a guy from the NC Symphony... he goes to my church and is quite high in the organization- his official title is too long for me to remember off the top of my head, but he's pretty much the second in command of the business side of things. We chatted about music, and musical careers, and my future plans, and his path to his current job (which he says he just loves)- all in all it was both informative and exciting. It was great to hear his ideas on the state of classical music, and it was educational to talk to him about singers and the mechanics of singing.

The third cool thing is that I'm planning a trip to Boston, Connecticut, and New York City in mid-October. I still have to confirm everything with my workplace, but I should be just fine, they're usually very accomodating. I've emailed Boston Conservatory, New England Conservatory, Yale, The Hartt School, Manhattan School of Music, and Juilliard about visiting, speaking with faculty and/or current students, and possibly taking a lesson or two with faculty to get a better feel for the program they each offer. I've received three responses, ranging from humorously stand-offish to fantastically warm and welcoming- this is definitely a trip I'm excited to be making. I'm sure I'll also have at least some chance to see some old friends on the trip, which will surely be a lot of fun.

Finally, last but certainly nowhere near least in terms of excitement, it looks like all plans are falling into place for my wedding to a certain lady- our first choice of venue wasn't able to work out, but a second choice popped up almost out of the blue and is looking both attractive and available. Our chosen reception caterer is on board for the date we want, which is the originally desired date, so it's beginning to look like all systems are go for full-out wedding preparation!

I'd say it's been a pretty damned good day so far. Now to practice again when I get home from work this evening! }:D

John Daniecki - Student Review

2009-09-13T13:43:00.004-04:00

Inevitably, when googling a teacher, a student will find it easy to find information about their performance capabilities. Reviews, performance listings, roles, biographies, and repertoire lists abound. But none of that really applies to the student- after all, as we perpetual students of the human voice know all too well, a teacher's performing capability does not necessarily match their instructing capability. Furthermore, it's quite true that for each student a certain teaching method or vocabulary may work better than another- though I personally firmly believe that there are core vocal techniques which must be learned for true and prolonged success. We'll see if my theories hold out in my own voice 50 years from now. ;)

However, in light of the problem presented above, allow me to humbly offer some small solution.

For the past going-on-two years now, I've been taking steady (if somewhat infrequent) lessons with John Daniecki, an American opera tenor. I must qualify what I'm about to say, simply because when John and I had our first lesson, I had already gone through an undergraduate music program. I had decided that I didn't want to do music, and I got a job in the video games industry. I had spent a summer taking no lessons, and working on no music other than in my position as a church choir director. By the end of the summer, I had decided that I MUST do music, because I can't NOT do it. I began seeking teachers, traveling an hour every other week to take occasional lessons at UNC Greensboro. Being somewhat less than inspired by these lessons, I continued my search- and it was at this point that I found John. I had decided definitively that my future lay in music, specifically performing, and that I needed someone who could help me reach the next level, whatever it may be.

All of this to say that I could not have been in the place I was in when I met John, to hear what he had to say, to study it diligently, and to know my own mind on the subject of a career in music, without the experiences that came before. It was my prior education, teachers, and life struggles that lead me to this point, and I am eternally grateful for the help that all of them offered up to this point in my life.

My first lesson with John Daniecki was on a Sunday. At $100 an hour for an hour-and-a-half lesson, he was more expensive than any other teacher I'd sought out to date by a full 33%- but he came recommended from the conductor of the North Carolina Master Chorale, a musician I respect very highly, in direct response to my inquiry after a tenor instructor. That first lesson went long- probably ending around the two hour mark- and I was stunned. You can read all about it here. He taught in a way I'd never experienced before, and spoke of the old tenors and old ways of singing and learning to sing. I would have been inclined to think he was perhaps a con-man- too good to be true, too smooth, too confident in his own approaches, and too disparaging of the approaches of other contemporary instructors- except that his techniques really worked. Being a relatively poor, relatively newly employed 22 year old, naturally my first inquiry at the close of the lesson was "Well when can I see you again??" The response was that he'd be driving back through on Tuesday, two days later. Naturally I said I'd see him then.

I practiced like the dickens, and by the time Tuesday rolled around I'd made significant progress in his eyes. It was a little too early for me to tell myself how I was advancing, but my increased facility in the second lesson was enough for me- I was sold. And that's pretty much how my experience with John has gone ever since.

John is a fantastic instructor. He truly knows how to sing, and can capably demonstrate anything he's asking you to do. He doesn't talk about what's wrong- what muscle is clenching, what shape you're making with your mouth, what you're doing with your arm- he only talks about what's right, and then pares away everything else.

At the core of John's philosophy is the idea that all you really need, in order to be able to sing well, is something called "placement." Everything else is secondary, and if you have the proper placement then it all falls into place- breathing, excess tension, vibrato irregularities- everything. John says, and I am increasingly beginning to find in my listening to both professionals and amateurs, that the essence of truly fantastic singing is this core, this "placement." Having identified what makes singing great, John took his own voice and worked backwards, reverse engineering that one concept with the help of HIS teachers. He developed meticulous exercises and measures to build and evaluate a voice's placement, and these form the core of his instructional methods. They are simple exercises and techniques which truly take a moment to learn and a lifetime to master- and I believe that he uses them today, in his own voice, to continue his own advancement. Most of them are as simple as "Do X, and listen for Y. If Y is present, then that's good and your placement is good. If it is not, then do X more, while paying attention to Y." One exercise, one goal. Once that goal has been achieved, the exercise goes through a more advanced permutation- "Now do X' and listen for Y."

Also at the core of John's instruction to me, from day one, has simply been the exhortation that if you do the work and put in the effort, then you will see the results. If you truly do X correctly, and you listen to the recording of yourself doing X, then eventually you can only end up achieving Y. To me, this was a fantastic revelation- here's a set of simple instructions, which, when followed, only improve your vocal ability.

Ultimately, the purpose of this review is to assert, with confidence, that now that I'm almost 2 years into my study with John, his instruction has absolutely paid off in the biggest ways. Even just 3 months ago I regarded most Opera Programs around the country out of my reach, due to my lack of facility with tenor arias. I'm currently working on Lonely House, Dalla sua pace, Tombe degli avvi miei/Fra poco a me ricovero, Frisch zum Kampfe, and En fermant les yeux, with confidence that I will be able to present them well in three months' time. Even before I reached this point, however, it was clear to both myself and those close to me that my voice was growing in richness and color, and presenting itself louder as a result. I have a confidence in my instrument and my status as a tenor that I'd never really had before. And John's instruction to me has gone beyond simple vocal technique, to advice regarding the full reality of pursuing a career as an opera performer. Being primarily a performer, rather than primarily a teacher, John offers advice from what schools seem to be doing well to what areas of the country are easy to break into and what repertoire sells really well in Germany.

I cannot speak highly enough of John. His instruction style is thoroughly enjoyable, filled with anecdotes from his many years as a professional performer, but the true proof of his worth is in his technique. For me, at least, this has proven invaluable, and I'm confident that the benefits are not restricted to myself alone. If different students need different styles of teachers, then so be it- but John absolutely knows the requisite core elements, and is beyond adept at passing them on to his students. Even to a relatively unwealthy bachelor of music, he is more than worth the cost.

9/11 Daniecki Lesson

2009-09-12T10:45:00.008-04:00

It's almost frustrating... it seems like every 3 months I work with John, we develop a completely new style of singing that I have to learn and master immediately. It would actually BE frustrating, except for the fact that each new layer we find is worlds beyond what I was using before in placement, tone, ease of production, reliability, and any other worthwhile measure of vocal progress. It's exciting, but when, five minutes into a lesson, your teacher tells you to fix a thing and fixing that one thing lets you make sound COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY, it can get a little bewildering at times.

Second issue on today's agenda: pre-screening CD's and applications are due as early as November 1st, and as late as December 15th, for varying programs around the country. Steven, my friend, it is time to get crackin'. From this day forward, a solid bout of practicing is a daily regimen. It's time to make some huge leaps forward, solidify them, and record them to the best of my capabilities. Let's do this!

Now, the moment I'm sure you've ALL been waiting for-

The Lesson!

Tonight's question: In my singing through pieces, is there any section that's tough that I do well, that I can use to say "why do I do THIS well, but not THAT?" and iron out the entire piece?

Secret answer: Why, yes! We don't figure that out until the end, though.

1-2-3-2-1

(n)[u]-[u]-[o]-[o]-[u]

John's first comment, and I can hear this clearly on the tape, and this is something I've been struggling with for a while, is that this is very pinched or clamped or tight.

one pitch: (n)[u]-[o]-[uh]-[o]-[u]

This is slightly less tight, but still not relaxed enough...

one pitch: (n)[uh]-[o]-[u]-[o]-[uh]

In a diversion from our usual pattern, John has me on a series of descending notes this time, down quite low indeed! I'm not quite sure why, but I'm certain he was checking something.

As I get lower, these are starting to relax some, though I can definitely still hear some pinch or clench in there. Even lower, this pinch seems to relax entirely- it's impossible to clench and make sound at the very lowest eschelons of your voice!

1-3-5-3-1

(n)[uh]-[uh]-[o]-[o]-[uh]

We begin ascending, and I begin the second one with a little (h) sound instead of an (n). He would prefer this- the (h) as though propelling the sound outwards.

1-3-5-3-1

(h)[uh]-[uh]-[o]-[o]-[uh]

This is all sounding much better than I started today.

1-3-5-3-1, all on [uh]- except as we get towards the top, we need to focus and funnel with our lips. This is sounding better.....

Then John points out that I appear to be jutting my jaw forward as I sing sometimes! Dr. Linnartz had pointed this out to me this summer, and I'd been trying to address it, but you know how those ingrained habits are. After a little playing with my mouth/tongue/lips it seems like when I raise my tongue forward, to get as much tongue in my mouth as possible, I'm inadvertently shifting my jaw forward. Later, we also establish that I have the propensity to do this with my lips as well.

To help correct this-

Get tongue high in the mouth, for an (n) and then just swing the jaw down slightly- drop the jaw a bit- to make an (n)[o]. Then, once the jaw is dropped relaxedly (and not pressed forward at all), leave the jaw where it is and raise the tongue again to make an (n) again- (n)[o]-[no]-[no]. Do this WITH A MIRROR! Do this just to convince the subconscious that all of these parts can be separated and HAVE to be separated!

This is a change that completely reworks my singing.

The good- my "buzz" and placement is getting better and better. The bad- I was too tight at the start. My placement can't come at the expense of the forwardness of the tongue and the relaxedness of the jaw.

1-3-2-4-3-5-4-2-1

(n)[o]-[u]-[o]-[u]-[a]

He mentions that when I move to [u] my jaw presses forwards slightly- watch that! However, all of these are much more relaxed and natural sounding than the way I started my practice today. It's definitely clear that I have to practice plenty with this new technique to get back to the relative "facility" I had with the other (less correct) technique I was using before making this jaw-relaxing change. However it's immediately apparent that my top notes are easier, less pushed, less strained, and more relaxed than they have been in recent history.

Note to subconscious: The Jaw, the Tongue, and the Lips are three completely separate muscle groups that can (and must!) move independently!

My vibrato does sound faster this way (which I mention to John), but I'm certain that it's just because I've changed things and am not settled in my new production yet. John affirms that as I continue on, things will relax and center into a speed that sounds right.

"Out here, because I know your voice so well, it sounds like you're getting into that head thing- but it's so even that I almost don't mind!" - I should still reserve my head voice sound for only the rarest of circumstances if I can, but if it ends up that I can't, then so be it. However, I expect that I can bring more core sound higher.

1-3-2-4-3-5-4-2-1

(n)[uh]-[o]-[uh]-[o]-[u]

(Vowel reversal from last exercise!)

The [uh] on top is much more difficult- it's not as naturally narrowed and focused as the [o], which makes it more difficult to do this exercise on these vowels. The [uh] has to be like the [o] just before it, in that it's tall and forward. Focused with the lips! I try this again and I'm far more successful with these tips in mind!

Dalla sua pace

"Dalla...." oops, I'm already doing it wrong. ;)

The issue is that I'm starting it differently than the vowels/placements/positions I found in the exercises. It's a "middle ground"- not as bad as how we started today, but not as good as we just did in the exercises. Inside, says John, there's a lack of space- do the exercise on [o] and then open to [aw]. This builds the right space for these starting pitches.

I can tell, right away, that adding those consonants really does change the vowel shape almost immediately! No good!

Remember that double l in "dalla"- I need to work on my consonants, especially with this new jaw relaxation. I must have been using the forward jaw as a crutch to help me in a lot of places, and they all need ironing now that I've relaxed my jaw so nicely.

1-2-3-4-5

[o]-[o]-[o]-[o]-[aw]

[u] tends to be a little too pinched and clenched, like we started today. How to fix? Alternate back and forth, IN A MIRROR, between [o] and [u].

Note: [o] and [aw] are really close! This exercise demonstrates this closeness:

1-3-5

[o]-[o]-[aw] (and on the top, swing the jaw slightly to make sure you're relaxed enough!)

Now without being loud, start on the [aw] we found, for "dalla!"

Aha! Very nice start! Wow, this is totally WAY better than ever before. Completely relaxed- I almost sound like a different person. John: "All together, that's like a totally different you again!" Yup.

A good idea: get at least a few years where my concentration is all about being beautiful. Bel canto. Then, after that, I can start working on sometimes (very rarely) singing harder and louder- use these spots infrequently, and then do them well.

1-3-5

[o]-[o]-[aw] - "dalla sua pace, la mia dipende"

Getting this perfect is just all about finding those correct positions over and over and over and over again until they are completely solid every time I come back to them! It's just gonna take practice!

Remember: jaw is RELAXED, not held back!! While we're relaxing away from the jaw, we're not relaxing from the roundness or the space or the forwardness.

Keep that core sound going through all the way to ends of phrases!

I'm beginning to notice that when I crack it's because I'm not quite in the right position with my mouth- something's generally too wide and not focused enough. There's a delicate balance between focus and relaxation that I've got to hit!

Note: Keep the line flowing all between notes- it has to keep going beneath consonants. I have had, in the past, a tendency to sort of "pulse" pitches- no good!

"quel che lei in cresce" - [kwEl kE lE:in krESE] (mock- IPA)- all the [E]'s are THE SAME! They must all match. Work to make sure that each time a vowel comes back it matches. Initially, it seems like the [i] is changing something about the subsequent [E]'s. The question then becomes "am I doing the [i] right?" I try it again and they all match much better.

Note: I am now MUCH LOUDER than I've ever been- TREMENDOUSLY. Try being a little lighter. Probably a good exhortation- I am probably pushing too much.

However- when I bring volume down, the shape of the vowels changes and the sound suffers slightly! Keep the same shapes, just blow less air. Difficult- I will have to use a mirror repeatedly to iron this out.

I begin singing through the second repeat of the introductory section, and I'll say that it really does seem like my voice sounds sweeter when I'm not pushing as hard. Again, whenever I crack, it's because of a lack of "focus" with the lips and tongue (but remember the jaw relaxation).

"There's probably six months of good vocal study that can be done with nothing but THIS aria, and that stupid Cosi aria." (It's gotta be un aura amorosa)

I try to sing it all the way through with consonants, to varying success. Some parts are good, and I always feel like "quel che lei in cresce" pulls it back into place some. However, ultimately I just haven't practiced the right positions enough yet. Well, duh. :)

Frisch zum Kampfe

My [I] needs to be closer than I think to an [i] to sound, to a listener, like a true [I]. Once I fix this, everything afterwards is much better in place.

"nur ein feiger tropf verzacht" - [nu:uh ain faiguh tropfErtsakt] - the r's here can be replaced with late, understated schwa's.

Lots of work here simply with the rhythms and pitches of the piece... clearly I need to go back and study it over again. However, by and large, most of what I try here works fairly well!

One way to access higher stuff is to take the whole section in question on a very focused [o]- this gives the sound the focus (with jaw relaxation!) it needs to ring properly on the actual vowels.

This is a heck of a piece... most comprimario singers can't sing this well, says John. The whole piece is "I've got A's, I've got A's, I've got A's... oh, and now I've got a B too!"

Remember- open, round, tall, focused, forward, relaxed places on every single vowel! When the positions are right, then all the notes come out. Then once you've learned all the positions confidently, the notes come out easy and consistent- and then everyone else says "well, why can't I do that?"

Lonely House

Starting in the B section (Lonely house, lonely me, funny with so many neighbors...)-

Again, immediately, it's not as good as what came before! More vowel work so that all these vowels are in the perfect position regardless of the consonant that comes before.

I do it correctly, and it sounds totally different- simply more confident, richer, fuller. More confidence-inspiring!

"Unhook the stars and take them down" - "the stars" - these two vowels are almost the same vowel... don't change too much!

As soon as I get those two vowels aligned, "stars" is way better than it's ever been- and will surely provide the key to moving this voice higher on the staff.

"unhook the sta---------" carry this sound upwards- find out how far it can go. If the vowel [a] for "stars" is so good on the Bb, why not sing "in this l[a]nely house"?

I do, and it works fantastically. :D

Protip:

2009-09-10T12:58:00.002-04:00

Listen to yourself.

In college, every lesson I had was recorded, usually on a tape. It was expected that we would listen to our lessons over the course of the week, and sure- every once in a while I'd take some time out of my busy schedule to listen to some of one of my lessons. If my schedule was feeling EXCEPTIONALLY relaxed, I might even listen to the whole thing- but that was rare.

My lessons were still helpful- I still advanced- I still practiced regulary- but I didn't necessarily realize the true power of the regular recordings I made of myself.

After college, at about the time I started this blog, I vowed to record and listen to my lessons and take notes on them- a vow I've fulfilled, even if some parts of it (note taking, anyone?) have been intermittent.

I started in my infrequent lessons with Dr. Bracey, which I would listen to and take notes on. But it was when I started taking lessons with John Daniecki that I really started paying attention to the act of listening as an invaluable one for an aspiring singer. That's because John didn't just encourage me to listen to my lessons- he MANDATED it. Not only that, but a key factor of his teaching style is the assumption that students don't just record and listen to their lessons- they record and listen to their practicing too!

John's philosophy is this- that when you are singing, you cannot hear your own voice. Therefore, in order to best gauge how you are doing, you need either another person (i.e. a teacher), or a recording device so that you can go back and listen to your voice afterwards. I wasn't certain how much I believed it, but at his exhortation that actual singing should only make up half my practice time, with listening to what I sang being the other half, I decided to try.

Immediately I noticed, first of all, that I had a WEALTH of material to think about, talk about, and examine. Even just 20 minutes of practice and 20 minutes of listening to that practice will deliver a lot of insight into your voice, how you use it, what your habits are, and, if you're lucky, some ways to change them.

Of course the benefits didn't start accruing right away- but I will say that now, after doing this for a year and a half, my recordings of my lessons are one of my most valuable assets. I habitually record my practicing, and I try to listen to it frequently, even if I don't listen to it every time.

There is one practice, however, that noticeably improves my next lesson, and that's listening to the lesson before. If, the day before and the day of my next lesson, I listen to my previous lesson, it is practically guaranteed that my next lesson will be a significant advancement over the last. That extra time, hearing my teacher's demonstrations, hearing my own attempts (whether successful or not- though, in lessons, I'm more often varying degrees of successful), naturally primes my subconscious mind for the lessons I'm about to receive. I can safely say that for the last three lessons in a row I've listened to the previous beforehand, which was part of the reason those lessons were absolutely fantastic.

My advice? Listen to yourself, both in your lessons and in your practicing!

Continued...

2009-09-07T15:06:00.009-04:00

Picking up where my lesson tape last left off- it's been a busy week, and I haven't been as diligent as I should have been... but "O del mio amato ben" is coming along very well indeed!

Concepts to remember:

1) The vocal line is like a clothesline, and consonants are just clothespins- they just sit right on the line and don't change its shape at all.

2) Consonants must come LATE and FAST, and not affect the vowels before or after.

Dalla sua pace - Don Giovanni - W. A. Mozart

Starting on the vowels- [a] [a] [ua] [a] [E], [a] [ia] [i] [E] [e]

"Dalla sua pace, la mia dipende"

Try not to take a breath between "pace" and "la." It just interrupts the line and the good placement we've found already.

"quel che a lei piace, vita mi rende"

"rende" - as I back away a little (decrescendo), I may have to focus a little to maintain the place. This is pretty cool- I've worked with it since and it's definitely one of the pieces that was missing for so long!

Note: I'm beginning to notice when John will stop me based on how I start the pitch. If there's something strange about the very beginning, or even about BEFORE the very beginning, then the actual pitch suffers just a tiny bit.

"quel che lei incresce, morte mi da"

Quandary- "incresce"- the unaccented ending is the highest note here. WHY? Clearly it's intended to to connect to the next phrase, through the rest. Find a way to connect the two phrases, even though there's the rest between them!

Now with consonants- immediately, things are slightly different with consonants. The vowel is slightly altered. Clearly I need to do more ironing of vowels-consonants-vowels-consonants to solidify the fact that the vowels must be the same regardless of whether or not I'm adding consonants to things.

"s'ella sospira, sospiro anch'io- e mia quell'ira - quel pianto e mio e non ho bene, s'ella non l'ha"

By the time I get to "l'ha", I'm not sounding the best I can. It has to be long and forward, but not wide. I just wasn't quite focused enough for that high note."

MAN! I just did a really nice sounding connection of "s'ella non l'ha e non ho bene..."- it wasn't as good as John wanted (back in time right on "e non ho"), but it sounded really good on the recording!

Point: don't just manipulate the line for the heck of it, say something with the manipulation!

He says "keep the core" and suddenly I sound very much more present and richer! I say that I just moved my tongue up a bit- keep it like that! It really did sound much better.

- This sounds like a real Mozart tenor- "not the Mozart tenors of today, but Mozart tenors the way MOZART meant for it to sound!" - "A Mozart tenor with cajones!"

Remember: the core!

Don't rest too long between "s'ella sospira -- sospiro anch'io"!

Core core core! Tongue raised! Remember, late consonants. Especially voiced consonants- l's, m's, n's- seem to last a little too long and come a little too early.

Of what I was just singing: "THIS will get you into any school in the country, singing this way."

Yowza!

Back to the clothesline/clothespin metaphor- don't spend too much time on consonants through transitions. If you're ascending to a new note started with a consonant, think of the consonant as being on the same upper pitch.

Regarding the cadenza transition:

The only way to do quiet correctly, is to do MORE of what's right on the louder stuff, only blowing less air. It's not a mixed voix, it's the real deal- keep the core!

Fra poco a me ricovero - Lucia di Lammermoor - Gaetano Donizetti

- Recit - Tombe degli'avvi miei

Tombe degli avi miei,
l’ultimo avanzo
d’una stirpe infelice
deh! raccogliete voi.

- I must know exactly what I'm saying here! "I lost EVERYTHING because this woman was THE ONLY ONE!" As a result, I can take the time I want- maybe not at a comma, but DEFINITELY at a period. LOTS of time.

- Study this piece and identify exactly where periods, commas, rests, etc are placed. The text and its meaning is almost the entire informant of rhythm for this piece.

To learn about the rhythms, we take it completely in time. When we take it out of time, the general relationship between various rhythms should remain- x is twice as long as y, etc.

Immediately when I get to the [o] of "tombe", I have to be released. The [o] must be in place behind the [t], it needs to release immediately, and the [t] needs to be short and quick. Later, faster consonants!

Also- don't SLIDE!

On vowels only- Immediately, these vowels are a little more released than the vowels with consonants! Clearly, more back and forth is needed over ALL of my pieces.

Tombe degli avi miei,
l’ultimo avanzo
d’una stirpe infelice
deh! raccogliete voi.

Cessò dell’ira
il breve foco… Sul nemico acciaro
abbandonar mi vo’. Per me la vita
è orrendo peso!…
L’universo intero
è un deserto per me senza Lucia!…
Di faci tuttavia
splende il castello! Ah! Scarsa
fu la notte al tripudio!
Ingrata donna!
Mentre io me struggo in disperato
pianto,
tu ridi, esulti accanto
al felice consorte!
Tu delle gioie in seno,
Tu delle gioie in seno,
Io della morte!
Io della morte!

-------

Tombs of my ancestors,
final resting-place
of an ill-fated line,
ah, receive me! Extinguished is anger’s
brief flame… On the enemy’s sword
I will throw myself. This life
is a horrible burden!…
The entire universe
is a desert for me without Lucy!
Meanwhile, the castle
is bathed in torchlight! Ah, fleeting was
the night of jubilation!
Ungrateful woman!
While I shed tears of
desperation
you laugh, you rejoice at the side
of your fortunate husband!
You so full of joy,
You so full of joy,
I so deathly sad! ,
I so deathly sad!

To be continued... remain: 39:11

Time Time Time

2009-09-02T07:52:00.002-04:00

Something I never have.

I'll update the previous post with the other hour-and-twenty-minutes of my lesson... perhaps some this evening and some tomorrow. I also really do have to record a sample of myself singing english and send it to this guitarist... he's looking for a young male voice to collaborate with. I hope I haven't dragged my feet too much... I've been insanely busy.

I was thinking on my drive home yesterday about how to foster an increased community and culture supporting classical music. After all, there's not too much demand for it, and if I can somehow create MORE demand for it, well that's just more benefit for myself in the long run!

I'm thinking about perhaps maybe possibly organizing a 1-2 hour weekly/monthly "get together" of classically minded peoples to.... do something. Listen to some music, talk about Raleigh's arts scene, maybe even listen to some live performers. I really need to head off to Eric Hale's "Fourth Friday" events on occasion- it sounds like a great idea, and it's about time I started supportin'. ;)

Also, another idea occurred to me-

When wine lovers get together to sample or enjoy wine, there's a whole vocabulary they use to talk about wine. They talk about various aspects of it, its color, the way it clings to the glass, its scent... and of course its flavor. And each of these aspects has a whole dictionary of terms associated with it.

We do not, however, to the best of my knowledge, and I went to school for this stuff, have a vocabulary for talking about the complexity of the human voice, which is, to my mind, much like wine. A young voice might be sweet and young and pure and uncertain and unfinished, and a developed voice might be rich and thick and sonorous and large and wobbly... but I'm not certain singers and lovers of singing have a vocabulary that's as developed as it needs to be in order to really get what's going on.

Fun idea: organize a "wine and voice tasting" party. Have a number of wines, sample them, talk about them (there's someone at my church who does this for a largely charitable organization, hmmmmmm...)- and all the while, play some songs by some singers, sample them, and talk about them. Could be fun- who knows!

Thoughts, anyone?

Trends

2009-08-30T20:54:00.010-04:00

It's funny... most days I don't get many hits- maybe 3 or 4 now that I'm being lax about updating. However, on occasion, I'll have a day (like today) where I'll get 13, 15, 20, etc hits. The interesting thing about this phenomenon is that it almost seems like, on certain days, more people around the world just happen to search for queries that will lead them to my blog! I wonder what it is about those specific days....

Onwards!

So I've had a series of about 3 lessons now where each was just exponentially better than what came before. My voice has been feeling more flexible, easier, more capable- and my teacher's encouragement has grown steadily. I haven't been serious about taking notes on them here, due to other factors in my life (getting engaged, moving in with fiance) that have kept me pretty busy, but I figure I might as well take some now. I probably won't get all the way through the lesson- it was 2.5 hours long!- but I can at least make comment on some of it.

Exercises:

n[u]: 1-1.5-2-1.5-1 (half steps)

Making sure to start the n with the [u] sound already in place behind it.

then:

n[u]: 1-2-3-2-1 (major scale)

... Sometimes I'm not quite getting all the way up to the highest pitch- overtones relaxing/making the pitch sound lower?

hardest yet:

n[u]: 1-3-5-3-1

Must be 100% sure it stays completely far forward the whole time- proper placement.

He comments that it sounds like my n might be interfering a little, and points out that it's really a very tiny movement to go from the n to the [u].

n[u]: 1-8-1 (think of the other exercises as sub-exercises)

This is noticeably more difficult! More blips, etc. I notice that DESCENDING is more difficult than ASCENDING.

- The goal of this exercise is to get it to the point where it moves pretty quickly- whole thing over 1-2-3-4 seconds. Think of the St. Louis arch! Everything has to be WAY forward for this.

- Quick check- if you get to the bottom of this exercise and it doesn't feel the same as when you started, and your focus has been on keeping it forward all the way through, then maybe we need to START more forward. I try this and it works MUCH better- much smoother, more focused, more unity of sound- more even.

*This becomes a theme of this lesson- if I pay a little more attention to how I start a phrase, the whole phrase becomes easier. Things like the pitch of the consonant before I start, or ensuring that I have very far forward placement right from the start.

n[aw]-[o]-[aw]: 1-8-1

Gives a little more focus on top.

- At the top, he's not SURE he hears a pure [o]- so between the n and the sliding, what changes inside to mess with the vowel?

- Ideas: it's helpful one way to move from the n to the vowel very slowly. It's helpful in another way to think of the n as quickly "propelling" the vowel- quick n. Let's try both ways!

First: very slow transition from n to [aw] (start of exercise). This seems to work very well. Keeps me forward- "for my money, this is really talkin' about staying in the place."

Second: quick "propelling" transition from n to [aw]. I feel like this is perhaps a little less successful, or maybe I'm pushing a bit too much. Perhaps I should try this again, and just make sure that the [aw] is lined up correctly behind the n to start with!

John's suspicion: "when people start learning HOW far [forward] it is, it feels so far beyond them that it's almost as though it's dangerous to let it go." So now I'm maybe finding a "resonance center" that's "beyond my face"- maybe there's a little bit of "if I let it go, I'm not sure what'll happen!" - "that's a little out of control"

Quick n's again, trying to let it be as far forward, and even go FURTHER.

- When you open, you've really got to be right on the vowel. Can't fudge around finding the vowel after you open from the n.

It's funny- before these past few lessons, I could definitely hear when I was doing it "right" according to what he was saying. But now, when I listen to myself, I can hear when I'm doing it "right", as in he's happy with what I'm doing, but I can still hear that it's not as far as it should ultimately be! My ability to hear these gradations of my own voice has increased dramatically recently.

Discussion: I can tend to flip into a headvoice up high, but if it ends up that that's what I do, that's okay- if I can really smooth out the transition, then I can do French music in a very unique way- think Nicolai Gedda- very blended, top to bottom. This could possibly be very useful in today's recording industry. We should use this technique in a continued effort to build the correct technique all the way up, but if it never quite materializes that's fine.

Remember- once we carry the forward all the way up, we have to support it all the way down as well!

Repertoire:

Lonely House (Street Scene- Kurt Weill):

"At night when everything is quiet"-

Very present, very forward. Now, can we keep the presence, but not be as loud- AND, when we get to the [Et] of "quiet," can we be a little sweeter/ more malleable with muscle groups?

- this [kwaijEt] has been tough- I need to minimise the i/j bits. I'm a little under pitch on the [Et]- losing overtones. Not as placed.

How to fix? [a]-[E] on the right pitches, back and forth, unifying vowels. This improves things immediately. Definitely still tricky, need to do more work on this.

NOW I can do a diminuendo when I get to [Et]!

"This old house seems to breathe a sigh"

- "sigh" begins to hint at the mixe-voix thing that I do sometimes- it's not forward enough as I diminuendo. Perhaps my embechure needs to focus a little more as I blow less air, to KEEP it as forward as it started. John says: "It's a BATTLE, for me personally, to keep it as far forward and not move anything."

First of many admonitions: the consonants are ALWAYS as LATE and as QUICK as POSSIBLE!

aaaaaaaaaatniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightwheeeeneeeevryyyyyythiiiiiing etc etc

I try focusing musculature while diminuendoing and it works dramatically! John exclaims "YES, THAT ONE! Can we please do that?"

"breathe a sigh" falls out a bit because I'm so used to the other way. How to fix? Slide downwards, really connecting the pitches, to be CERTAIN I'm as far forward as possible to start. This works very well.

"sometimes I hear a neighbor snoring"

I'm manipulating vowel shapes in anticipation of the consonants which are too long!

- the [I] of "snoring"."creaking" just doesn't work quite well for me. It needs to be higher, closer to an [i] sound.

A common "fix" this evening is to take a phrase and sing it all on vowels only. Why does this work so well? Maybe I'm altering my vowels too much to make consonants, which is causing consonants to cut into the placement of my vocal lines. I need to practice a LOT on pure-vowel lines- no consonants. Then alternate vowels-only with consonants-added to confince my subconscious that, underneath the consonants, is this pure, even, smooth, uninterrupted vowel line.

Back to "snoring/creaking"- if I sing [i]-[i], it would probably work great. And whaddya know, it does. :)

Don't anticipate the [ng]! Vowels-consonants-vowels-consonants etc. Hammer it out!

Note: my diction has always been super clear. Maybe, now that I have more presence to my instrument, I can relax my diction- regular, GOOD diction is now more than sufficient. Doesn't need to be fantastic.

Listening to my lesson, I can definitely hear what he's talking about, with excessive consonants- expecially n's.

"lonely house"- the best "lonely" I've ever done, but "house" went somewhere else. Solution- slide up from "ly" to "house" on an [i] and then switch to the [a] when you get to the top note.

"lonely house, lonely me/ lonely street, lonely town"- same pitches, but "lonely town" is far more successful than "lonely me"- I need to iron these two over and over to unify them and make sure the first is as successful as the second. "Play with them until you match them." (Wow, "lonely town" really IS way better. Just far smoother and more connected sounding.)

Again, diphthongs need to be super-late as well, just like consonants. [ha]----------[us]

"At this point, it's now up to how much time you can devote safely to practicing." Train the subconscious which "buttons" to "push" to make the right things happen.

Think of the vocal line as a clothesline, and the consonants are just clothespins pinned to the line- they don't make it scoop or sag at all, because the line is taut and supported.

"sparrows"- we work on this one a bunch. The "r" is making things tough. It's just got to be the tiniest flip- diction in general just needs to tone down a bit. Also, the "sp" is also on the pitch, in your head at least!

"the night for me is not romantic"- "ic" has to be nice and spinny. Also, don't slide upwards on things like "me"- that's a crutch, and many tenors use it, but I don't need to. Place the pitches properly, where they belong!

It's the "the!" When the "the" is in line, the rest of it is perfect! Again, this is a theme where JUST paying attention to the very beginning of my phrase dramatically improves the whole phrase.

"I'm lonely, in this lonely house"- damn! Sounds pretty good! Best high Bb I've sung yet (but there's better to come later in the lesson. :D)! Now the trick, if I've got this "clothesline" going as high as I want it, is to keep everything spinning so open and round and in the same place, that I can move from [o] to [i] ("lonely") effortlessly.

Now- how LITTLE can I change as I ascend from [I]-[o] ("this lonely")- make them as similar as possible. This works well! I almost don't even need to drop the jaw- shifting from an [I] to an [o] necessitates a small jaw drop anyway- this is quite enough to make this change happen. I need to work on this and iron it out, but that's the right idea!

Remain: 1:22. The rest to come later!

Dalla sua pace (Don Giovanni- W. A. Mozart):

Fra poco a me ricovero (Lucia di Lammermoor - Gaetano Donizetti):

Hello again!

2009-08-20T11:12:00.003-04:00

I, too, have been lax in posting, and I do not have a new journal to blame it on! Instead, I shall blame it on a lack of time. Working from 10-6, then practicing some in the evening, getting dinner somehow, planning Dungeons and Dragons awesomeness (my game is going very well- so well that I have more players than I'd planned!), hanging out with CertainLady, planning weddings, and preparing to move to my new apartment this weekend- these things have kept me pretty busy lately!

But don't let that fool you into thinking I am downtrodden, or have hit a rough patch, or am frustrated, or am rethinking my singeryness- no, quite the contrary.

Most of the summer I was studying almost exclusively with Dr. Linnartz, in Durham. She gave me some great pointers and I feel like some of it, at least, has proven useful and worth keeping into the future. All in all, however, we didn't quite jive. Ultimately she decided she wasn't entirely comfortable with my taking from two teachers at once, and advised me to choose one. Looking at my finances, I also couldn't really keep up with two teachers, and so I decided to continue taking with John exclusively.

Now for the majority of the summer, from May until maybe late July, John Daniecki was either in absentia from the Raleigh area or my funds were being particularly restrictive. We finally managed to have a lesson in late July, which gave me the chance to directly compare the teaching styles, techniques, and even results of my two teachers- an interesting experience to be sure. Our lesson went well and we continued on our merry ways.

Then, having decided to take exclusively with John as I prepare auditions for grad schools in the fall, I asked how often we'd be able to meet. In a stroke of fantastic luck, he assured me that we could probably meet with exceeding regularity- every other week, in fact, starting a little later in the fall- probably around September. He also informed me that he'd shortly be back, and would I like one lesson or two? I leapt at the opportunity for two close together, so we made our plans.

So it was that I saw him last Friday evening, and this past Tuesday night. And all of a sudden EVERYTHING started clicking. I can finally hear, definitively, in my own voice, when I'm doing a weaker "mixed voice" and when I'm truly adhering to his tenets of placement and forward resonance. What's more, I'm even starting to be able to feel, expressly, when I'm using either production. And of course, as part and parcel of being able to determine these techniques and actively SELECT the correct one, EVERYTHING is becoming so easy. Effortless. In the past few days I've sung higher, louder, longer, richer, more complicated stuff than I ever thought I'd be able to. Even just two weeks ago, I had basically written off most opera programs for the fall because of their aria-heavy requirements, and arias are the highest and toughest tenor pieces. But now I think it is not a big stretch to prepare four or five solid arias for auditions, and I've added a bunch to my rep list.

At the same time, John's opinion of my ability seems to have increased dramatically as I've felt my ability increasing over the past few lessons. I won't repeat what he's said, since some of it honestly sounds even too good to be true- but it's always an exciting experience to hear your teacher talk well of you to your face.

I have another lesson next Friday, which will probably kick off our bi-monthly lessons. As quickly as I've advanced over the last three lessons, I'm a little terrified of suddenly returning to the grind that it's sometimes been in the past... but at the same time I'm very motivated to practice, do all the little exercises he's been giving me, really listen to my lesson multiple times, and move forwards with confidence.

Ultimately, my voice is finally starting to become what I'd always hoped it would be.

Dear Diary,

2009-07-28T10:54:00.003-04:00

On Saturday I asked CertainLady to marry me.

She said yes. ;)

Some of you may have noticed I didn't put up a videoblog this past Sunday! That's because I spent all weekend with her parents and my parents, celebrating.

It was a pretty cool story... I secretly got up in the middle of the night and put the box next to her coffee machine, thinking she'd get up early and make coffee, like she does every weekday. I failed to recall, of course, that Saturday mornings are far more relaxed, and we/she usually sleep/s in and have/has a relaxing morning. So it was this past Saturday morning! We slept in and relaxed, got up slowly, petted cats, checked emails, and finally she headed into the kitchen- but once there she sang a song about the cats needing water and dishes needing washing! It's worth noting that her sink is about 18 inches from her coffee maker and the box-of-great-import.

Finally she decided she'd make some coffee, and then there was a moment's silence punctuated with an exclamatory "Steven!" She ran in the room and asked "is this jewelry?" I replied "Why don't you open it and find out?"

So she did and burst into tears. ;)

Guess I did alright! :D

More singin' stuff lateron. Engagement stuff takes precedence. Many apologies. ;)

Episode 2!

2009-07-20T08:36:00.003-04:00

Making these videos takes a ton of time, both in practicing and in editing. First, to practice, I do 20 minutes of practice and record it. Then I load that into the computer- which takes as long as the recording is. Then I watch what I did and take notes not just on what I was doing and how I did it and how useful it is, but also on where, in the video, interesting things happen. That helps me go back later and find the parts I want when I'm actually editing the final product together.

Then the final product itself is taking, on average now, about 5 hours. I have to decide on the song I want to sing, sing and record it, organize the video in my head, jot down all the things I want to say, record them all (sometimes a couple of times!), and then load all of THAT into the computer. Fortunately, all of that is much shorter- about 6 minutes total for this last week's video. Then I open Windows Movie Maker (for free software, it actually works quite well, even if it's not perfect) and begin splicing everything together in the proper order with the right clips in between.

This project is useful to me in a couple of ways. First, it forces me to choose a goal to address for a given week- I look for something I'm not doing well, and try to actively improve on it. Second, It lets me not just hear how I sound, but see how I look while I'm practicing- which has already proved helpful from a posture standpoint! Third, and perhaps most interesting, since I sing a verse of a song every week, I get to actually see myself perform- and it usually takes 2 or 3 tries before I'm happy enough with my performance to put it on the tape! I'm learning a lot from watching myself do all this stuff and critiquing.

Anyway, here's this week's video. I was focusing on training the back of my throat to be tall and round and open while singing, and I do think that some of what I did was helpful!

It can also be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBCP4mhxa5w

I gotta be more careful about my enunciations. It's good to speak clearly, but sheesh- sometimes I sound like I'm overdoing it a bit. ;) Talking to a camera ain't as easy as talking to a friend!

Episode 1 is live!

2009-07-12T22:32:00.002-04:00

...And you can see it here! I sing the first verse of "Luna d'estate" and talk about how a slide/siren compares to real supported singing, and how I can use the former to improve the latter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_KF7kjc_RI

This little 5:00 video took me about 5 hours of work to put together this afternoon! Lots of searching through practice clips to find the right segment I wanted to showcase. It was very educational, and I'm certain I'll get faster in the future.

It was also an interesting project, because it forced me to look analytically not just at my most recent practice, but at the last few recent practices- and, specifically, to look for changes between them I might not otherwise find significant. I always notice changes when I'm practicing regularly, sure- but they are usually noticed and then forgotten about. This time, however, I built a whole video talking about what I saw as I practiced over the week.

Constructive criticisms welcome... a certain lady has already told me I still come off as a bit arrogant, or like I'm putting on airs. I'll have to keep working on it... I was hoping the more active nature of this video would help assuage, but we'll see what we can do.

Next week's point of focus is: keeping the back of my throat tall and open whenever I'm singing, no matter what. I don't know quite how I'll work on it- probably lots of work on an [o] vowel, all across my range, and on various sung pieces, to train myself to keep that open space no matter what.

I hope to update a little more regularly, but videoing myself practicing, uploading to my computer, and then taking notes on it is proving to be time consuming! Maybe as I get more accustomed to it, it'll get faster and I can start keeping short practice notes here as well.

Good night!

A Happy Birthday Indeed!

2009-07-09T18:14:00.003-04:00

It's been a very good day. Woke up slowly around 9:30, got up, had breakfast, and turned the camera on myself for my second videotaped practice session. While it was loading into the computer I showered, and when I got out I watched it and took notes. Then I ran off to hang out with a friend at her pool, which was great- now I'm back to update briefly, and then it's off to see Certainlady for the evening!

Regarding the videoblog:

I'm specifically considering, for this "week" (Wednesday 7/8- Sunday 7/12), what the relationship is between actual supported operatic singing and a supported siren slide. Specifically, it's interesting to me that I can slide very high in my range (above a high C even), but I cannot sing consistently that high. So I'm doing lots of exercises that I'm hoping will shed some light on the issue.

It's a lot of fun for me to video myself practicing and then watch it. For one, the mic on my camera is much better than the mp3 recorder I've been using so far, so I can hear myself much more clearly. For two, I can see myself and am able to critique things like my posture that, up till now, have gone perhaps unchecked! Three, of course, is that I have these resources that I can pull information and clips from to assemble my weekly videoblog- the official first episode of which SHOULD be this Sunday.

I've received some comment on the project, most of it supportive- people generally think it's a good/great/interesting idea, and some people think it sounds like a lot of work. I can, by now, officially attest to that last bit- it's definitely going to take a lot of work. But hopefully it'll be worth it. My first commenter on youtube was less than flattering, but so goes the internet. Another commenter on facebook talked about how videoblogs were like a performance, so I should try and approach them as such. It's tough to perform when the only thing in front of you is a camera! I'm sure it's something I'll get better at as I get more practice. Additionally, I'm assembling such a "performance" out of my "rehearsals"- which should make for some interesting challenges! But again, I think time will be the best teacher here, as long as I keep these things in mind.

Of special interest to me is that after my practice last night, my practice this morning felt noticeably better. I think there's something good in my current lines of thought and experimentation- I just have to make sure I'm also using my voice healthily! The supported siren slide is, I think, too constricted for sustained and healthy use- so I need to figure out how to make those sounds in a healthy, relaxed way. Maybe that can be next week's question! Who knows.

Still eager to see how the whole thing works out... I'd love to appeal to a wider audience than just myself and close friends, but in the end I'm comfortable just learning as much as I can.

Thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes! It's fun to get them all. :)

Introduction Video!

2009-07-08T22:20:00.003-04:00

BEHOLD!

It is me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N84WPRHPGJg

Don't hate, I'll get better soon. ;) Enjoy!

What do you think?

2009-07-08T12:12:00.005-04:00

So I'm going for some readership feedback here! We'll see how it goes... my readership is a small but (presumably) mighty crew.

So I'm thinking about starting a video blog! Not to replace this one, oh no, probably the opposite- just a regularly updating series of videos, probably no more than 5 minutes in length each, that I upload to Youtube on, say, a weekly basis.

The point is this:

Every week, I decide on an aspect of my singing to work on. Then I work on it in my practicing. While doing so, I would videotape sections (or entire sessions) of my practice, just to pull stuff from later. Then at the end of the week, on Saturday or Sunday, I'd look back on what I was working on, the exercises I was using, and how effective I thought they'd be. Finally, I organize a video where I talk about what I was working on, why I wanted to work on it, how I think it went, and include some sample clips from practice sessions as well as perhaps singing an end-of-week demonstration!

The idea has multiple purposes.

* First, it will help give me further motivation to practice highly regularly.

* Second, it will give me a record of what I was working on, how I was working on it, and how I sounded at that particular time in my singing career.

* Third, it seems to me that most people these days have little exposure to the unedited human voice, and the ways it can sound. This project of mine would get another unedited human voice into a public place, for people to find and hear.

* Fourth, if someone were interested in learning how to sing, especially operatically, they could supposedly find these videos and compare techniques.

* Fifth, if someone had a wealth of knowledge ABOUT how to sing, especially operatically, they could offer insight and intuition, having actually heard my voice!

* Potentially sixth, it could invite conversation between myself and like minded individuals on THE INTERNETS! And conversation is always fun.

* Possible seventh, if someone has a direct question regarding something I talk about in said videos, I could use an off-topic video to address the answer, furthering discussion!

So what do you think, peoples? Do you think it sounds like an interesting idea? Would you (glub!) watch me sing?? Does it sound like I can accomplish all I want to in a 5-minute weekly video? Are you contemplating a camcorder of your own? What do you think about the general idea of a non-pop-singer promoting themselves and their art style on Youtube? Are you a heavy Youtube user, or a Youtube neophyte?

Finally, and perhaps the most important question, how can we get more high quality unedited singing (the singing in pop music is frequently highly altered in production) into the public sphere? There are some amazing sounds out there that popular music just can't address!

I eagerly await your responses. La fin.

Songs for Certainlady

2009-07-06T15:11:00.004-04:00

(Note for facebook readers- lots of embeded content! Click through!)

So last Friday, a beautiful young woman and I went on a date to the restaurant we went to on our first date- which just so happened to have been exactly one year prior (after much insistance on my part ;) ).

I thought I would take this time to post a few youtube videos of songs that remind me of her. ^_^

Anna Netrebko and Elina Garanca sing "sous le dome epais" from "Lakme"

An incredibly beautiful piece of music, that I've always loved. I found this video early on when dating CL, and decided the music pretty much expressed how I felt about her. ;)

Silverchair - Across the Night (embedding disabled- boo! support web 2.0!)

Great song, all around pretty damn cool. And since then, I've discovered that many of Silverchair's songs are pretty damn cool! Anyway, CL sent me this song very early on, long before we were dating. To a young dude up late exchanging facebook messages with an attractive but untouchable certain lady, it had a lot of import. :)

The Tale of Mr. Morton

A very cute song, that Certainlady had quoted in her old-school facebook status message the very first time she ever messaged me (out of the blue, at random!). Not only is it educational and informative, but it also is quite romantic. :)

Knights of Cydonia - Muse

When I was in Norway, this was basically our team's theme song. We played it all the time, would get it stuck in each other's heads, and hummed it constantly. Additionally, as I trolled the interwebs for inspiration during 20 hour shifts while chatting furiously with CL, I happened to listen to a vast quantity of Muse (which I highly enjoy). I also managed to pass it on to her, and she, at my insistance, went on to purchase various and sundry CD's by said band.

Enrico Caruso - O Sole Mio

At some point, it was necessary that CL spend the night at my place. This did happen! It is a verifiable historical fact! Additionally, the next morning, I played opera selections on my computer and cooked her blueberry pancakes. She commented to me then that she couldn't imagine a better morning.

I'm sure there are more... but I'm going to go easy on bandwidth.

<3!

Just RELAX

2009-06-30T10:40:00.002-04:00

I did some practicing last night. Linnartz says she can hear tension, either in my upper abdomen or my larynx or SOMEWHERE- I personally can't even identify where the tension is. So I did a lot of exercises just to find tension and eliminate it. I did some very fast runs from 1 to 9 and back to 1... I sang "La Scala" a few times while holding my neck in a posture which looked, I'm sure, quite suicidal. I was feeling my neck muscles and larynx for tension! I think I'm less tense when I make certain to create a large space in the back of my mouth, both tall and wide- and it's this same space that I found in my last lesson with Linnartz (say that five times fast!), that she liked so much; and I'll agree, it definitely gave my voice more warmth and flavor. I even tried singing a song while shaking my body around, just to get every possible muscle doing something else while I sing, to identify which are used in SINGING, and which AREN'T, and to convince me of the separation of the two. ;)

Intentionally relaxing is difficult. If you have a muscle that, because of habit, wants to participate in a given activity, it's nearly impossible to "just relax" it. A better approach is to try to do something else with it. If you find you have tension in your jaw, slowly move your jaw from side to side as you sing. If there's tension in your neck, slowly rock or turn your head. This gives those "tense" muscles some specific action to accomplish, meaning they stop doing the habitual things you're trying to wean them off of.

Anyway, the whole point of this stuff was to sing a whole song ("La Scala") with the proper posture (top of spine stretching up, tailbone stretching down, relaxed abdomen) and relaxation. Ultimately, I think I was successful- I think that, for right now, this excess tension is the major block I need to address to access more of my ability at singing. Of course, it would also help if this lingering cold would go away. ;)

Surprise!

2009-06-26T16:02:00.003-04:00

Not much action here recently... I've been kind of burnt out on music. Happens every once in a while. Am I back in full? Who knows, hard to say. Probably not yet, but eventually I may be. ;)

Last weekend, Certainlady and I were in a recital. She had recently started taking piano lessons once again after nearly a decade of absence, and her studio was having a studio recital at Ruggero Piano. Ever since we first started dating, I had casually suggested she and I do a piece together- me singing and she accompanying. I'd even given her the music (Francis Poulenc's "C'est ainsi que tu es"), but not much came of it for quite some time. Until, that is, she started taking lessons! She'd been working on the piece for a while with her teacher, and wanted to perform it for the recital. Naturally, I was more than willing. Immediately, nerves struck- after all, she hadn't performed in a decade! Well, sort of- there are other things in life that are similar to performance- taking a hard test, or public speaking, for example. We practiced it together, but I never quite heard the music beneath the notes, so to speak- which was mildly frustrating, because I could tell that she had the ability to get it out! Of course, mentioning this to her was a path frought with peril which I trod only rarely. ;)

Soon, though, the day approached! We went to a masterclass together, where she had some nerves and had to restart a few times- but once I entered we were fine and finished off strongly. She thought it was a complete failure, I thought it was pretty standard preparation. We each practiced over the next week, and then it was recital time!

We were very near the end, with plenty of time to get nervous as other pianists gave their own pieces a whirl. It was a collection of students, but a few of them actually were pretty impressive. Then it was our turn! After lowering the lid I asked if I should introduce the piece, as her teacher recommended at the masterclass. I did, and we paused to center ourselves- something no other student did.

And then we performed! It went fantastically, and I felt like we both really did excellent jobs. Certainlady got beyond the notes and played beautiful music, and I handled the high stuff well. We also took a measured bow at the end- something again fairly unique to us.

Afterwards, an enthusiastic french speaker came up to me and complimented us very highly in french. Just because I sing french certainly doesn't mean I speak it, but I've seen/heard/studied enough to understand what she was saying- apparently we were pretty good.

It was very fun, and I think Certainlady's banished a significant amount of her stage nerves as well. Her teacher, an excellent woman, also gave her a wonderful compliment, one which I've never received so blatantly myself: "You've got IT, you can be a performer, all you have to do is work hard." So now we're looking for another piece to perform together sometime. :)

Weekend Adventures!

2009-06-02T10:07:00.002-04:00

As certain ladies report, this past weekend I went up to Roanoake for a wedding! Some people were feeling slightly stressed, there were some mishaps and delays on the drive up, the hotel was somewhat pricey (charging for parking and breakfast?)- but all in all, it was a blast.

I met Natty and Pepper (as CL likes to call them) last year, a little less than one year ago, at their engagement party. Though most of the people in the room had known them for years or decades, and almost all of the people there had been attached to another present member for years, and I myself had been attached for a mere month or two and was meeting them for the first time, everyone there was incredibly friendly and welcoming. I had fun meeting everyone and celebrating along. As the year passed, I got to spend a little more time with most of these enjoyable individuals, and I even got to visit the Humble Duplex itself in Roanoake for New Year's Eve. Natty and Pepper and their friends (as well as CL's friends!) were always engaging and welcoming. I can safely say I'm absolutely thrilled for both of them (and their families!). I just wish I had a little more weekend free time to head up and visit with them!

I haven't been practicing too much since, as you can see, I've been a little busy for a while. I have been doing a lot of work with very supported slides, recently. I noticed forever ago that I could slide, like imitating a siren, from very low to outrageously high- the A above the tenor "High C". That's pretty stratospheric- there's no song in the tenor repertoire that ever goes that high. What's more, this sound doesn't sound like falsetto- it sounds like full voice, albeit a sireny and not-singing-sounding "full voice."

I asked Dr. Linnartz about this a while back and she remarked on its strangeness as well- and asserted that if I could make pitch on those notes, I could probably learn how to sing on them as well. Superhigh A's aside, I'd love to have a solid high C- what tenor wouldn't? Indeed, singing well above the staff is something I've been struggling with ever since making the shift to tenordom in my junior year of college.

The moral of the story is that, finally, after working with all of this for a couple of weeks now, I'm starting to find the relationship between sirens and singing- and the end result is, I think, a LOT closer to the "siren" end of the spectrum. My sirens are too tense to be true singing- it's all straight tone, and it doesn't sound good. I have to figure out how to get the relaxation and fluidity of singing with the support and placement that these sirens have- because they have a lot. I've been trying to siren up and down, following the melodic contours of the pieces I'm studying. It's difficult, because the singing-brain tries to take over, but I think it's also very useful.

I'll definitely be working with it for a while to see if I can't get something interesting going on!

Observations on the Difference between the Voice and Other Instruments

2009-05-19T10:09:00.002-04:00

I had another lesson yesterday, and, while probably helpful, it certainly wasn't as inspirational as some I've had. I can chalk this up to my failure to practice regularly, but there is another factor involved....

...which we will discuss here today!

When my friends talk about playing the violin or the piano or another instrument, they often talk of the mechanical exercises they have to do over and over, painstakingly slowly, in order to get what they want. Even as a young lad having taken little piano I knew of Hanon and Clementi, and though I've never even touched a violin, I know what Shinichi Suzuki is famous for. Other instruments seem to have well documented and proven methods for developing success of which even the most amateur of teachers are aware.

The same does not apply to voice instructors. Of all of my voice teachers, though all had something to impart, I would say I've only encountered one man ever who honestly KNEW what he was talking about- and even he doesn't have the whole picture. There appears to be a real lack of knowledge, in today's teachers of the human voice, of the methods, of practicing, learning, and instruction, which produce success.

Obviously, I can't speak too harshly, being myself relatively unknowledgeable about which techniques (of practicing, instruction, and learning) do reliably produce a voice which can be successful at a high calibre of performance. I'm merely voicing the frustration that other instruments do seem to have time-tested and proven techniques of instruction and rehearsal which, when followed vigilantly over a period of serious study, provide results which are aurally pleasing (yeah, I said it!) and healthy for repeated and prolonged use. Now as I've mentioned before I HAVE studied some Vaccaj, which I think can be very helpful in mastering basic functions of singing (accuracy of all intervals, up and down, accross a comfortable register) as well as some very specific functions of 19th century Italian singing- appogiatura, trills, mordants, and the like- but I don't think it's as robust a learning tool as Hanon or the Suzuki method.

It might be interesting for me to, through my career in the study of the human voice, attempt to construct a method, the lack of which I'm currently bemoaning. That's what John Daniecki has claimed to do, and of everyone I've studied with he certainly seems to have gone the farthest, but he doesn't address a big portion- that of posture, support, and breath. I believe him when he says that if your placement is right then your support will naturally be so as well, but why leave it up to chance like that? Dr. Linnartz has been helping me find the natural ways to stand and breathe that augment rather than detract from my capabilities.

Long Time!

2009-05-18T13:19:00.004-04:00

I did some really solid practicing yesterday for half an hour- recorded, and then listened to it for another half hour. I also did the whole thing at Nieta's place; I'm quite certain her neighbors were surprised. But they couldn't have been as surprised as her cats! She has two, Jesper, a gregarious and fuzzy orange cat, and Kiska, a sleek and shy white cat. Both of them were quite put off in their own way, but Jesper was the more amusing of the pair. Kiska dashed out from under the bed to get out of the room where I was practicing- a frequent enough behavior anyway. But Jesper apparently sat on top of the dining room table, looked at Nieta with wide eyes, and went "mow mow mow mow mow!" He would then run to the doorway of the bedroom (where said practicing was occurring) and stare at me with wide eyes with his tail tucked down, as if to say "You sound hurt, are you okay? Also, you are SCARY." Nieta, at least, was happy to hear me do my weird things, which she'd read and heard about, but never actually heard before.

I did some good things! Not all was good, and some was a struggle, but I am finding out that there are relaxed ways I can produce a rich and full sound. I just have to get the support away from my throat and down to my chest/ribcage/diaphragm/abdomen and below. I have to figure out how to do that consciously (I can do it "by accident," sort of, but not necessarily intentionally yet), and then I have to consciously do it so much that it becomes ingrained and I do it unconsciously.

My lesson tonight should be alright, but I really need to find more time to sit down and practice thoroughly like I did yesterday. I didn't practice enough this past 2-week cycle. I am excited about tonight, though, because I'll get the recording for Tim Hambourger's "I am Untranslateable." I can't wait to hear it again, it was a very cool piece. And Dr. Linnartz herself said I sounded good and performed impressively with such a challenging piece of music. Never fear, faithful readers (ha!)! I will host at least the second movement (my solo) online for you all to listen to at your liesure!

In geekier news, I played Dungeons and Dragons with my group on Saturday night- I'm the DM, which means I'm running the game. They'd just gone to sleep in a quiet inn in their destination village after 10 long days on the road, when all of a sudden the village was attacked by Kobolds! After dispatching a group of the small, reptilian creatures, a great roar sounded- a Young Black Dragon was attacking the southern half of the village! The heroes swung into action, fighting the dragon over half the village before finally sending it fleeing back to its lair. Much fun was had by all, including myself- I even painted up a nice Warhammer (fantasy) Black Dragon figurine, which added to the battle greatly.

Playing

2009-05-12T14:57:00.002-04:00

Games and Music.

Recently I found this. It's a game called "Today I Die" by Daniel Benmergui. Take a second to play through it- it's short, and it will only take up 5 minutes of your time. Also worth noting is that it has multiple endings.

It's not really a game, so much as an interactive poem. It's minimalist, but it's still very interesting.

Then after finding that, my brother showed me this. The game, that is, not the website. It's a game called "Braid," and it's a puzzle-platformer where the puzzles are solved through the manipulation of time. There are some really fascinating puzzles in it, and I haven't yet beaten them all by a long shot. I've cleared worlds 2, 3, and 4, but worlds 5 and 6 (and whatever lies beyond) elude me. It reminds me a lot of Portal- very unique, very stylized, a collection of mindbending puzzles that force you to think of a problem in new and interesting ways.

But "Braid" goes beyond a mere platformer or puzzle game. The art is a delight to look at, looking almost like a watercolor painting. The music is incredible, most of it simply licensed from artists independent from the production of the game itself. Even beyond that, the game evokes emotion and implies and hints at, in a very streamlined fashion, a very human story. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I think the situations involved - memories, mistakes, forgiveness - easily resonate with any participant.

Finally, "Braid" innovates in one other specific way- it takes out all the penalty for playing the game. Completion of the levels is measured not in reaching the end and advancing, but rather in attaining token "puzzle pieces" placed throughout the level. If the player doesn't know how to reach one piece, they simply move past it until they experience another situation that informs them or inspires a stroke of insight which allows them to solve an earlier puzzle.

"Braid" is available on Steam for only $15.00, and is, in my opinion, well worth the purchase price. It can be infuriating at times, but with time and thought the solutions eventually snap into clarity.

More Thoughts...

2009-04-29T18:43:00.002-04:00

Brief note after practicing some slides of a major 3rd on various vowels:

In our lesson, Dr. L and I talked about vowels and trying to relax them some. On the whole, I feel like relaxing them from what I had fails to recreate a true, pure vowel. My [o]'s are just not as [o], my [E]'s shift from [I] to [ae] and back. However there is one point of stark improvement- my [u] sounds much more natural this way. Perhaps there's a way to get the other vowels pure without going to the extreme I feel I'm currently going to. I'll keep working on it, but in the end I may simply have to agree to disagree with my new teacher. Or ask her why she thinks I need to change the shape, if I am to sacrifice purity of vowel sound.

The end!

Thoughts on new techniques

2009-04-29T10:10:00.002-04:00

It's always a challenge to apply new techniques from a new teacher... just figuring out exactly what they want you to do is a challenge in and of itself- with voice, there's a constant translative filter. One person will say "you need more pressure under that note" and another may say "you never want to feel pressure." The trick is to translate and realize the first person means you need more SUPPORT, while the second means you never want to feel TENSE or HELD. Second, once you translate, you have to figure out 1) HOW to incorporate your new learning into what you already know, and 2) IF you want to incorporate your new learning into what you already know.

I'm learning some new things from Dr. Linnartz. We're focusing a lot on my breath and my support system, which is fantastic because it's a part of me I've never felt got much attention or was very well developed. Perhaps the best exhortion I've received from her is to relax my shoulders back more and stand with my chest up and out. It seems simple, but without attending to it it's easy for me to drop down and forward just a little bit- which doesn't help me at all.

Of all of the things I've heard from her so far, there are three that seem to be the most helpful:

* Posture: Shoulders back. Feet planted, feeling like you can move in any direction easily. Athletic stance. Hips over the balls of your feet, and shoulders over your hips. Chest elevated, as though it's a hard surface off of which sound can bounce (this isn't accurate, but it is helpful for getting in the right stance).

* Placement: think of a slight "cheekbone smile." This widens the resonance area from just one very focused spot to a larger palate of the front of your face. This seems to make some things easier.

* Lift: feel a lift in your soft palate, but also in your hard palate. That's also not physically possible or accurate, but is again helpful for doing the right things and making good sound.

I do feel like I'm gaining more power from these new techniques, but I also worry that it's a little unbridled. I'll have to be sure to work hard with placement and proper stance and support to make sure that I'm not being harder on my vocal cords as a result of the new force I'm able to apply from my diaphragm.

Linnartz Lesson 4/20 (aww yeah)

2009-04-23T18:23:00.003-04:00

Regarding breath support and expansion in the upper abdomen-

It's an artificial thing that we create until it becomes natural.

Did I try her advice in the opera, and did they help? Yes, I did, and yes, I think they did. I tried to remain conscious of my stance, and my support- which is foreign, so I can't judge my success.

1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1 on [u], quick runs.
I don't sound like I quite have the right vowel or placement here- she shifts me to [o] for a bit. This vowel is definitely better. She has me switch back to [u], and comments that my larynx is lower on the [o]. That's something I've noticed on my own through my laryngeal exercises!

She talks about how the larynx and chest (collarbone area) should "dock."

Try to keep the same throat for the [u] vowel as I have for the [o] vowel- a little yawnier.

She remarks on the roundness/purity of my [u] vowel- perhaps I'm overtraining it. But I'm not sure... it's improper to sing an [u] the way most people (especially in the south) SPEAK an [u]. If there's a problem with my [u], I'd be more willing to ascribe blame further back in my mouth than my lips- but it's possible my tongue or jaw is doing something funky on this vowel.

Switch to [a]- this vowel is a bit dark, maybe more like an open [o]. She tells me to loosen it up and to engage "just the slightest cheekbone smile"- and to feel a lift in the back of my throat and on my hard palate. Her main complaint seems to be the darkness or cover in the sound- which could be valid. It sounds to me like I could benefit, especially in the production of a pure [a] vowel, from brightening the sound up a little!

I need to constantly remind myself to take low, deep-seated "belly breaths."

She talks a lot about how an inhalation can be a release of tension. I can do this with relaxed breaths, with my hand on my belly button. This helps me be aware of the relaxedness of my breathing mechanism. "A natural bulginess in the upper abs, that we associate with louder sounds"

Note- 1-3-5-3-1, my vibrato isn't completely smooth through these transitions! Must do more work on it!

She wants me to be brighter in sound, and less nasally. Also, she wants me to open my chest up a little more. I can get this feeling by stretching my arms back and pointing my thumbs at each other.

She thinks I should be less nasal to attain greater brilliance- not box myself in to one point of resonance. This makes sense! I should pay close attention to my sound in practice. I think the cheekbone-smile is probably good for aiding this.

It will be tricky finding the right balance between this new system of resonance and my old standard more nasal sound...

Interesting comment: she thinks that I have much more sound, in me, than I'm using now. This is interesting to me, because it's something other teachers have said to me regularly! Multiple people can't be wrong... so let's work to access more of my sound!

"It may not sound like it, when you're doing it, to you"- re: more sound. This is something I've noticed on my own, with previous developments.

Lonely House-

Sounds like I could use more feeling of connection through the whole line of each phrase...

I'm not terribly successful at this first attempt, and certainly not as successful as I've been in the past. I'm definitely learning and struggling to apply new things!

Trying this on my own now, I'm much more successful, ESPECIALLY if I keep the feeling of a lifted soft and hard palate, and the cheek smile. Not only that, but I feel like I have a TON more power behind my sound! These are good things, to be sure! Interesting things... I'll have to keep paying attention to how I sound in recordings, etc.

Proper stance: can move freely in any direction, hips over toes, shoulders over hips.

Note: don't clasp hands in front of you while singing! It draws your shoulders forward, which is, of course, counter productive.

"how lonely it can be" - more vertical, formed more in the back of the throat, more "inflation" motivated "be"

When she looks, visually, at good singers singing, she sees about 4 teeth showing in the front when they shape their vowels. My lips are so forward and round, that she sees NO teeth! I'll have to go back and look at what Kraus, Vickers, et al do with their mouths while they sing!

At the top, the back of my mouth has to get "tubular"- I try this now, and it definitely feels better that way!

Higher notes can also use more nasal resonance- I begin using this to pretty good effect as we go over "the night for me is not romantic/ unhook the stars and take them down"

All in all, I think there are some things that do work well- that new cheekbones smile is great for new resonance, and the improved support from my belly and chest is good... I just need to make sure I'm still adhering to the tenets I've already learned! Woo!

Goals

2009-04-13T18:26:00.002-04:00

One Month Goal: Relax my larynx to the extent that it never rides up ever during the entirety of my singing, regardless of range, style, vowel, or any other factor.

One Week Goal: Relax my larynx across a one octave range from C3-C4.

Goal for the Evening: Begin phonating on a pitch without an upward movement of my larynx.

Notes:

* Starting higher, my larynx automatically jumps up. I thought maybe this was just motion that was necessitated by the act of producing sound, but when I begin phonating lower in my register, around a C3, my larynx does not move at all except for little tiny motions. This leads me to believe that I could be able to phonate at a higher register with the same relaxation in my larynx.

* It is much easier to phonate without a jump in the larynx if I start on the tongue-forward-[n] that Daniecki's spoken about so much. This is interesting- I should play with that to see if I can't use it to help me keep my larynx relaxed even when I begin phonation with my mouth open.

* There are a number of pitches I can begin without any motion in my larynx- from below C3 to about F3 or G3, I'd say. Above that, it gets more and more difficult not to trigger an upwards slide in my larynx.

* I'm noticing that it's easy to keep my larynx low when I have a full breath, but that as I approach even the middle (to end) of my breath, my larynx wants to ride higher. I wonder why that is? I am quite certain that's a tendency I should strive to avoid. How to practice against it? Maybe some simple breathing exercises while focusing on keeping my larynx low over the entire length of the breath.

* My voice sounds richer, fuller, more resonant, and deeper to me when I have a lower larynx. I don't have my recorder with me, so I don't know how true that is outside of my head, but inside my head it certainly seems like a noble pursuit! I really need to get another connector cable to transfer files to my computer and free up recorder space....

Conclusion: Some success. I definitely played around a LOT with my larynx, and am able to conclusively say that there's a different sound (in my head) and a different "feel" in my larynx when it IS engaged (higher/more tense) and when it is relaxed (lower). This is probably one of those innate subconscious habits that is going to take a while and a lot of dedicated and focused training to undo.